A smile that explodes
by fragilewreck
Summary: You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.TEEN JATE!
1. What the hell is wrong with me?

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost as well as the characters in it…

A/N: Hey guys…It's my secomd attempt to write a Jate story. I still believe I suck but thought that it was worth it. Anyway I hope you won't find it too bad and please forgive my many mistakes. Thanks…

Summary: There is no island and the losties are 18 years old. It's their last year in highshcool and they are having normal lives. But what happens when Kate realizes how much in love she is with her best friend??? And guess who her best friend is…

**Chapter1**

His lips were so soft. His touch sent shivers down her spine and caused goosebumps on her arms. His tongue was begging for entrance and she was more than willing to give it to him. Their tongues danced together, slowly driving the other crazy and wanting more, always more. His hands were travelling up and down her back, exploring her body not able to stop. They had difficulty in breathing but they couldn't stop. They didn't want to even if they were gonna die from lack of oxygene. They were in paradise or in something like it. Moans of appreciation could be heard from both of them as the kissed intestified. It was more passionate now, neither of them able to control their feelings. They slowly moved to the bed, all the while kissing and touching each other. They fell onto it without breaking the kiss and started pulling at each others clothes. They couldn't and they didn't want to think about the consequences of their actions. All that mattered for them that moment was the fact that they needed each other. And that was enough. They were now ready to take the next step. Looking at each others eyes they were trying to figure out what the other one was thinking. But before they could procceed something started ringing. And…

"What the hell???"

Kate was laying on her bed looking at the ceiling wide eyed trying to catch her breath. She couldn't believe what she had just dreamed of. She touched her forehead hoping to find out that she had a fever and that she was hallucinating but no… She was perfectly fine. What was wrong with her???

She got up and went to the bathroom. She splashed her face with cold water but the heat was still there. She looked herself in the mirror and asked herself "what the hell is wrong with you???"

Ten minutes later she was dressed and ready to go to school. She went to the kitchen to find her breakfast ready and her mother waiting for her.

"What took you so long?" her mom asked but didn't get an answer.

She looked at her daughter realizing that somethin was up.

"What's wrong?" she asked louder this time.

"Huh?" Kate answered oblivious to what her mother was saying.

"I said what's wrong. You seem distracted." she said looking closely at her daughter. She seemed nervous, like trying to hide something from her. Something that was actually strange since they had no secrets from each other. And Diane was proud for that. She had managed to build a relationship with her daughter that every mother was jealous of. Kate would always come to her, tell her news and thoughts of her and she would always be understanding and trying to support her. They even talked about boys although Kate had rarely found some guy attractive or suitable for her. She would always find flaws and things she didn't like on boys. She had tried to be more receptive but she always ended up unhappy. So she preffered to be alone to being with someone she didn't like. After all she had her friends.

"Nothing's wrong, ma." she replied making it obvious that there was deffinately something going on through her mind. And the fact that she didn't want to talk about it was making Diane worry even more.

"Bad dream?" she asked and by he look on Kate's face she had guessed right.

"No!" she replied quickly and stood up. She took her plate without looking at her mom and put it in the sink. She ran upstairs, took her bag and headed for school.

"Bye ma!" she said without looking at her.

Diane didn't reply. She was busy trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with her daughter. She was obviously acting strangely. So what could be wrong?

"Ohhh…." she said smiling at herself. Thinking about it a little she thought she had found what was bothering her daughter and laughed out loud. This was going to be fun…

Walking at school was usually good for her. She had time to think about stuff without interaptions. But now she wished she could be somewhere where she wouldn't be able to think. How could this be possible? Her and … No no… impossible… What was she thinking? Why the hell would she dream something like that? That would never happen… She didn't want it to happen. Or did she? No no… He was her best friend.

Ten minutes later she was entering the front door of highshcool. Thoughts of her weird dream still going on through her mind. She walked quickly towards the entrance of the building not really liking the way people were looking at her. It wasn't like she was a geak but she was not also the most famous person in the school. You could see a variety of reactions of the people that were staring at her. Some girls from lower classes smiled and waved at her praying to get "on the map". Others started whispering to each other basically criticizing the way she was walking, the clothes she was wearing, the way she had made up her hair or actuallly hadn't made in her case and generally everything regarding her appearance. There were also the boys, who didn't miss the chance to greet and smile at her. And of course there were those, a remarkable amount of students, who didn't even know she existed. And to tell you the truth she preffered it that way. She didn't like getting all dressed up just so that she'd be likeable. She just wanted to be herself.

A few minutes passed and she was finnally inside the bulding away from all the tactless looks. She walked quickly to her locker and took her stuff she was gonna need for the day. But when she turned around someone bumbed into her causing all of her books to fall down.

She looked up, furious, to see a smiling Shannon laughing at her.

"Thanks" she said sarcastically as she bent down to pick up her books.

"Good morning to you too sunshine!" Shannon said as she tried to help her pick up the books but only managed to make the situation worse.

"I got it I got it…"said Kate quickly. "Jesus Shannon could you be more clumsy?"

"Why does everyone say that?" she asked foldind her hands in front of her chest and pouting pretending to be offended.

"Well, I don't know, maybe because every time you approach someone he either falls down or his stuff do. Or it's just bad luck…" she said sarcastically grinning at her.

"Oh it's not that bad" she said rolling her eyes.

"Of course not" said Kate still grinning at her.

"Anyway what's up?"

"What could be up since yesterday when we talked on the phone for at least two hours?" she asked trying to hide the blushing on her cheeks as she remember what **_was_** up in her dream…

"Well I don't know. You seemed kind of weird when you walked in here. Like something is bothering you."

"Since when did you become a shrink?" she asked trying to change the subject as quickly as possible.

"Since you became my best friend. Come on, I know something's bothering you. Don't even try to change the subject!" she added warningly.

Kate looked at her with a what-are-you-talking-about look but Shannon was having none of it.

"Cut the crap.I know you too well." she said while they started walking towards the classes.

Kate sighed. This was gonna be hard. She knew that Shannon wouldn't give up till she found out what was wrong with her. And the fact was that she didn't even know what was wrong with her. She didn't know why she dreamt something like that or what the dream meant. All she knew was that she couldn't stop thinking about it and couldn't stop the butterflies that jumped in her stomach every time she thought of it.

She really was embarassed for dreaming something like that but she knew that she wasn't gonna get away with it from Shannon so she decided to tell her about it.

"It's nothing important…,she started, it's just a dream I had last night" she said with a small voice as if trying not to get overheard even though they far away from the other students.

"It must have been a hell of a dream if you're acting like this today" Shannon said.

A few minutes passed without neither of them saying anything.

"Well???" Shannon asked extremelly curious about the dream that made her friend acting so strange.

"What?" Kate asked innocently trying in vain to avoid the situation.

"Oh don't act all innocent on me. Spill it!"

"Spill what?" she asked praying to Gods that Shannon would drop the subject.

"The dream!!!" she yelled obviously frustrated by the behaviour of her best friend.

"sshh, keep quiet…" Kate whispered to Shannon not really wanting to give another reason to the other students to talk behind her back.

"Then you'd better start telling me about the…"

"Okay okay just stop yelling" Kate said all the while looking around her in case there was someone that could overhear their conversation.

Shannon stood in front of her with her hands folded waiting for an answer.

"I'm listening" she said.

Kate looked at her realizing that sooner or later she'd had to tell her. Then she might as well get it over with.

"I had a weird dream last night."

Shannon didn't say anything. She just looked at Kate waiting for the truth.

"In the dream… she said reluctanly, I was…

She was now blushing furiously.

"You were what?" Shannon asked.

"I was with a guy…and…

She stopped talking. This was too embarassing.

"Oh.My.God!!!!!!!!!" Shannon screamed laughing hysterically.

"Shut up!" she hissed.

Shannon couldn't stop laughing.

"Will you shut up already???"

"Are you trying to tell me that you dreamt having sex with someone?" Shannon asked trying in vain to stop laughing.

"_This is so embarassing"_ Kate thought.

"Not exactly" she whispered in a tiny voice.

"What? I didn't hear you!!!" Shannon pretented not to hear her only to make her even angrier.

"See? That's why I didn't want to tell you!" Kate said obviously mad at Shannon for making light of her problem.

With that Shannon managed to contain her laughter and become serious about it not wanting to upset her even more.

"Sorry" she said looking apologetically at her.

A few minutes passed with them not saying anything until Shannon couldn't take it any more.

"So who was he?" she asked curious about her friend's love interest.

It was commonly believed that Kate wasn't interested in boys. That didn't mean she was gay or something it was just that she couldn't find someone that could make her happy. Shannon and her other friends had tried in vain to fix her up with someone but it always ended up with Kate not being interested. She hadn't dated someone since she was 15, meaning 2 and a half years ago. Shannon, who was used to changing boys every weekend couldn't understand her at all. She also couldn't believe how a girl almost 18 years old could be a virgin. Kate always confronted her about this subject. It wasn't that she was a prude or something. She just believed that her first time should be with someone special, someone who loves her and she loves him, someone who wouldn't cause her second thoughts about it. She thought that when the person is right you know it. And that is why Shannon was so surprised to hear about this dream of hers. And she'd rather die than not find out who was that mysterious guy who had made Kate all weak in the loins.

Kate didn't answer. She just avoided her gaze praying for the bell to ring. But no such luck. She looked at her watch and desperately saw that she had another ten minutes before she had to go to class. She was doomed. She looked up at Shannon and realized that she had no chance in not telling her.

"It was… she started saying but was cut off.

"Hey!"

They both turned around to see Jack approaching them.

"_Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" _Kate thought. She was blushing furiously now and was so embarassed that she thought she was gonna have a heart attack.

All the while Shannon was looking strangely at her friend not really understanding why she was acting like this.

"Morning girls" Jack said grinning at them.

"Morning" said Shannon still looking at Kate.

Kate finally looked up still flushed and smiled at him.

"Hey" she said in a tiny voice.

Jack looked at her carefully.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing" replied Kate quickly not letting him speak.

Shannon was still confused about her friend's reaction.

"Ok then" said Jack. "I'm going to meet up with the guys. "

"Ok" said Kate not looking up at him.

Jack started leaving but before he did he made Kate look at him by lifting her chin.

"_Oh my God!" _Kate thought. She was looking directly at him and was dangerously close to him. She stopped breathing, memories of last night's dream flooding her mind. She couldn't help but look at his lips as she waited for him to speak. She wanted so badly to kiss him right there and then that she started shaking lightly in order to prevent herself from doing something so stupid. Finally Jack spoke.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Kate was left looking at him forgetting to answer to him. All that she could think of was how it would be like to kiss him, to be in his arms, to…

"Kate?" Jack asked slightly worried about his friend.

Finally she snapped out of her daydreaming and cleared her throat.

"Yeah" she said "I know" she smiled at him.

Satisfied by her answer he smiled softly at her and left.

Kate was still looking at him when Shannon finally understood.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was literally screaming now causing many students to look strangely at them.

"What? asked Kate silently praying that her friend hadn't found out. But it was too obvious.

"IT WAS JACK"

Kate wide eyed put her hand on Shannon's mouth trying to make her shut up before everyone in the school learned about her "naughty" dream.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Kate told her pleadingly.

When Shannon didn't speak she let her go revealing a surprised wide eyed Shannon looking unbelievably at her.

"I know" Kate said quietly.

Shannon kept staring at her not believing what she had just found out.

"I'm in deep shit' said Kate with a sigh.

Ok guys what did you think??? Better or worse than my other story?

If you hate it just say so…


	2. I don't have the answers!

Thanks for the reviews guys… It means a lot… I hope you'll like this chapter too…

Chapter 2

_-When did you find out?_

_-Find out about what?_

_-That you're in love with Jack?_

_-I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH JACK!!!_

_-Of course not. _

_-I'M NOT!!!_

_-So you dreamt having sex with other boys too?_

_-I didn't dream having sex with Jack!!!_

_-No???_

_-Well we were going to but my alarm started ringing and I woke up…_

_-I bet you hate that alarm now???_

Kate gave Shannon a frigid look who was sitting next to her. Mr Locke was explaining to them something about physics that wasn't making any sense. So Shannon had decided to find out everything about Kate's 'naughty' dream. So far she had got absolutely nothing. They were slipping notes to each other watching carefully at Mr Locke so as to not get caught.

_-Shannon I swear to God if you tell anyone about this I'll….. find something to do to you but the certain thing is that you won't be pleased!_

_-Okay okay… no need to do that… I won't tell anyone about this. I promise._

_-Good._

Some minutes passed with them not saying anything just trying to figure out what the hell Mr Locke was saying. Suddenly a piece of paper fell on their desk. Shannon grabbed it immediately and opened it.

She turned to Kate with a cheeky smile and whispered " It's for you"

Kate glared at Shannon and took the note from her. Once she read it her heart started beating faster. She started blushing furiously and the fact that Shannon was making fun of it wasn't helping the situation.

"Stop grinning" she warned her friend.

"Only if you tell me what your answer is gonna be" she replied still grinning like an idiot.

Kate sighed. What the hell was she gonna do now?

_-Hey… Are you okay? You looked kind of weird before, when I saw you in the hall… Is everything all right? You know you can talk to me about anything Kate. I don't like seeing you sad so please tell me what's bothering you so I can help you._

_xx Jack xx_

_Ps: Do you wanna come over to my place after school? Mum will be out with her friends and Dad will be working… ???_

She turned around to look at him. He was staring at her obviously worried about her. When he saw her looking at him he smiled at her. God that smile…

"Miss Austin will you finally pay attention to me or would you rather go out and get some fresh air???" Mr Locke yelled at her making her jump from her seat.

Everyone was looking at her. She gulped and looked at Mr Locke apologeticaly.

"I'm sorry Mr Locke" she said in a tiny voice. "It won't happen again"

"Thank you" he said kinder this time and continued his lesson.

Perfect. Just perfect, she thought. She sat there in complete silence thinking about what answer to give Jack. She never had problem going to his place. On the contrary they always had fun when they were together. But the problem now was that it would be too akward. Not for him but for her. She couldn't stop thinking about 'the' dream so how was she supposed to go to his place and pretend like nothing was wrong?

She didn't even have time to comprehend what all of this meant. Why would she dream something like that? Jack was her friend. Her best friend. They talked about everything, not having secrets from each other. So how could she dream making out with Jack? And even worse wanting to take the 'next step' with him?

However Shannon decided to interupt her complicated thoughts by slipping her another note.

Kate looked twice at Mr Locke making sure he wasn't watching and opened it. To her surprise Shannon had stopped making fun of her and had asked her a guestion that had been going through her mind all this time after the dream.

-_If you are so sure about the whole friendship with Jack and you're absolutely certain that you don't have a thing for him then you won't have a problem going to his place… Right???_

Shannon for once had made a point. If she didn't have "different" feelings towards him then she shouldn't be feeling akward about the dream. She should be making fun of it, laughing while she was telling Jack about it. She shouldn't be imagining what it would be like if it wasn't a dream. She shouldn't be looking at his lips every time he talked to her and she deffinately shouldn't be imagining Jack and her together as a couple.

But there was only one way she could clear this out.

She grabbed the note that Jack had sent her not too long before, wrote something down and after she looked at Mr Locke she threw it over to his desk.

Shannon was literally dying to know what she had written to him. She could see it in her eyes and the way she was poking her to find out. But no. After all Shannon had done to her today she deserved a little torture. And she deserved to have a little fun.

A few minutes passed and Shannon was on the verdge of tears. She had sent her more than a dozen notes asking her about it and demanding that she answer but Kate was having none of it. She was having a great time watching her friend begging her but once she saw her making the all-too-familiar puppy-dog-eyes she decided to let her out of her misery. She slipped her a note telling her exactly what she had said to Jack watching her face turn from sadness to surprise and then to the 'I knew it" look.

_- I'm okay but thanks for asking. No need to worry I just have a lot on my mind, that's all. And of course I'll come to your place after school… See ya! _

Shannon looked at Kate grinning, making her regret telling her about it. Shannon slipped her another note all the while chuckling and smiling ironically.

_-You're such a hypocrite!!!_

_-What???_

_-You pretend that you have no problem going to his place but we both know that you're trembling inside just at the sight of him…_

_-No I'm not!_

_-Oh yes you are!!!_

_-NO I'M NOT!!!_

_-Fine!!! Keep lying to me but stop lying to yourself!_

With that they ended their "conversation" and waited for the bell to ring. None of them said a word again about this and Kate was grateful for that.

While they were heading for the next class Kate and Shannon didn't say a word. Shannon was mad at Kate because she was so stubborn and Kate was mad at Shannon because… she didn't know why exactly but she was nonetheless. They went to their lockers and took their stuff all the while not speaking to each other. Once they got all the needed they started walking towards their classroom. Finally Shannon decided to speak.

"Ok I'm tired of this."

"So am I"

"Then stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"Pretending like everything's okay!

"You know what Shannon? I'm sick of having this conversation with you. I told you before that…

"No you didn't tell me anything. I had to force you to tell what was bothering you and then when I asked you about it you couldn't give me a decent answer!!

"BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER!!!" she screamed.

Many students were staring at them but they couldn't care less at that moment.

"I don't have the answers to your guestions, Shannon." she said quiter this time.

"I've been asking myself all those things you are asking me but I'm so confused that I can't figure out anything! I didn't tell you before because I knew you'd try to make me confess about the feelings you think I have and I'm not ready for that yet! I don't know why I saw that dream, I don't know what it meant and I don't know what to do about it! He's my best friend and I love him more than anything but suddenly I'm attracted to him and I can't explain it! You think I'm not telling you about it cause I don't trust you? You're wrong! I just don't know what the hell is happening to me!!!

With that she ended her speech and got in the class. Shannon was left staring at her, surprised by her outburst. She looked around her and saw many students staring at her and whispering.

"What are you looking at???" she yelled at them, not really wanting to deal with gossip right now.

She got in the class and went to sit next to Kate. She wasn't looking at her but she didn't seem to be mad. Shannon decided to give her some time before apologizing to her and watched as Mrs Sophie got in the class. The lesson started and she decided to talk to her friend.

-_I'm sorry…_

_-Don't be. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that._

_-No you were right. I've been so selfish that I made light of your problem. I was just mad that you couldn't confide in me._

_-Shannon you know how much I trust you and that is never going to change. But you have to understand that this situation is really confusing and I can't tell you something that I don't know myself._

_-I know and I'm sorry for pressing you._

_-It's okay. _

_-So… what are you gonna do???_

_-Well I'm going to his place after school… and hope it won't be too akward._

_-Do you think that… you could…like… fall in love with him???_

"_I don't know Shannon… I hope not…_

_-Why??? Jack's hot!!!_

Kate glared at her showing that this wasn't the point

"_I know he's hot but we're friends. I don't know why the hell I'm feeling like this but I know for sure that I don't want to destroy our friendship._

They had to stop slipping messages as Mrs Sophie gave them some notes about the lesson. After a while Shannon couldn't hold on any longer.

_-So… you think he's hot???_

_-Shan THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!_

_-But do you???_

_-Of course I do… I'm not blind… But as I said before he's my friend and I don't want to lose him just because I suddenly have the urge to kiss him…_

_-You want to kiss him:-o_

_-I don't mean kiss him kiss him… I just… I was talking about the dream… I didn't mean… Yeah I do…_

Shannon giggled and Mrs Sophie shot her a warning look.

_-Ok so we know now that you have the hots for him…_

_-I do not!!!_

_-Kate stop being so stubborn. The world won't stop spinning just because you like Jack. Actually I always thought you made a great couple together. So why do you keep beating yourself up for liking him… It's not like it's a crime. You can like whoever you want!_

_-But not him! God Shannon it's too complicated. It's only gonna end up with me hurt and our friendship destroyed! I don't want that to happen…_

_-Or you could get together, get married after a few years and have 5 children, 3 boys and 2 girls…_

_-Stop making jokes, this is serious._

_-I'm not. I mean it. Why are you so afraid of admitng your feelings?_

_-Because he won't feel the same and it'll be too akward… I'm only a friend to him…_

_-Ohhh now I get it… You're scared that he'll reject you…_

"_No it's just… I don't know… maybe… you said it yourself Shannon. He's too hot. He can literaly have any girl he wants. So why would he bother with me?_

_-Damn girl I thought you were smarter than me. So what, you're like the ugly Betty or something?_

_-No it's just that he's out of my league. _

_-What the hell are you talking about?????????????? You're like the hottest girl in the school…( after me of course ) So cut the crap and go get your man!_

_-He's not my man! I'm not sure yet what this is all about but I'll try to figure it out once I'm at his place.. Can we drop this now? Please???_

_-Fine. But you'll give me details about your "date" once you're back at your place!!!_

_-It's NOT a date but I will._

_-Oh and something else. Will you tell Claire?_

_-Not right now but I will when I've figured everything out. _

_-Okay._

Finally they stopped "talking" and tried to pay attention to Mrs Sophie.

Ten minutes later the bell rang ant the students started gathering their things and leaving. When Kate had picked up all her stuff she went to find Jack. But once she spotted him she felt her heart tugging. He was talking to a blonde girl, smiling and touching her arm. He was obviously flirting with her and for some strange reason it was bugging her. A lot. After a few minutes he said goodbye to the girl and walked away. He saw Kate almost immediately and smiled at her. She tried to return the smile but she found that she couldn't.

"Hey" he said "Ready?"

"Yeah" she said avoiding his gaze not sure why the hell she was feeling like this.

"Ok then. Let's go." he said taking her by the hand and making her heart beat a little bit faster.

Ok guys… Hope you liked it… I know my english sucked so don't feel bad to tell me so…

Next chapter: Jate time!!!


	3. What the hell just happened?

Thank you so so so so so so so so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for the delay but tomorrow morning I'm taking exams for my english degree. Now even though I know I won't pass I had to try and study a bit. So here you go, next chapter… It's a bit shorter cause I didn't have time to write more but I think you'll like it… Enjoy…

Chapter 3

They were walking in complete silence. Jack had dropped Kate's hand causing her to feel a liitle cold at the absence. They hadn't said a word since they left school, something that they were used to. They usually fell in a comfortable silence just enjoying the other's company. But now it was different. Kate was feeling extremely akward causing Jack to feel the same.

After a few minutes of the uncomfortable walk, they reached Jack's house. Even after all these times she'd been there she couldn't stop admiring his house. It was big but not too much. It was nicely decorated but without too many expensive things. In other words you could clearly see that his family was kind of rich, but they were deffinately not showing off.

At first, when she had met Jack, Kate didn't want to come to his place. She thought his parents wouldn't like her due to her mom's poor income. She had never expressed these thoughts to Jack but he seemed to understand her discomfort. And that was why he always insisted on her coming to his place. So one day she had given in and went to meet her parents.

Her fear of not impressing Jack's mom was immediately gone. Margot was so kind and enthusiastic to meet Kate that she loved her right away. "I've heard so much about you!" she had said causing Kate to blush and smile at Jack who was extremely happy wathcing the two women quickly getting along. The had sat and talked for about 2 hours before Kate decided it was time to get back home. Jack's father only came in to meet Kate, not as enthusiastic as Margot, but polite nontheless. After that he had gone back to his office to "work", something that Jack translated in "drinking".

And here she was now, in his house, alone with Jack and completely confused about her feelings towards him. Once they were in Jack turned to look at her.

"Did you tell your mom you were gonna stay here or do you want to call her?

"Umm… no I called her before, it's fine." she smiled at him trying to get rid of the shyness that had overcome her.

"Ok then" he said looking strangely at her. "Where do you want to hang out?"

"Wherever you want is fine with me" she said akwardly finally making Jack snap at her.

"Ok Kate what the hell is going on with you???" he asked a little upset with his friend.

"Sorry?" she said trying in vain to act innocent.

"Oh don't act all innocent on me!" he said rolling his eyes at her obviously familiar with the way she was always trying to hide something from him.

"Something has been bothering you since morning and the fact that you don't want to tell me worries me even more. So how about we go sit in my room and you tell me what the hell is this thing that is troubling you so much that you can't even tell me about it?" he asked but not really waiting for an answer.

He grabbed her hand and took her to his room. This was her favorite part of the Shepard house. It was so warm and nice making you feel like home. Most of the times it was untidy but it always looked good. But now wasn't the time to observe Jack's room. He was sitting on his bed looking at her waiting for some answers. Answers that she didn't have."Damn it, this is gonna be hard" she thought avoiding his gaze all the while.

"Well???" he said anxious and impatient.

"Jack, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm totally fine and…

"Cut the crup Kate!" he said interrupting her.

She looked at him and saw the hurt look on his face.

"Why are you lying to me?" he asked trying to uderstand his friend but failing completely.

"Jack, it's not that simple…" she started but was again interrupted.

"Yes it is Kate. But you're making it complicated and I don't know why" he said raising his voice obviously irritated by her.

"Look Jack it's nothing important, really."

"Then why can't you tell me about it?" he asked still with a loud voice.

"Why are you yelling at me?" she asked him getting angry with his attitude.

"Because it seems like you don't trust me any more!" he yelled standing up and facing her.

"Not everything is about you Jack!" she told him raising her voice too.

"Oh so now I'm being selfish? What the hell Kate? I'm here trying to help you and all I get is getting accused of not caring about you?" he said.

"Thanks for your help but I think I'll pass!"

"Fine" he said

"FINE" she screamed.

She picked up her bag and turned to leave.

"What are you doing?" asked Jack surprised by her actions.

"I'm leaving" she said without looking at him.

"Yeah Kate, nice way of facing your problems!" he said ironically.

Once he said that he imeddiately regretted it.

She turned to look at him making his heart break. Tears were filling her eyes threatening to fall down her face. He knew that accusing her of running would hurt her but he did nonetheless. He knew about her past, about Tom, about her father but he was such a jerk that he didn't even think about it before yelling at her. "How can I be so stupid?" he thought.

"Kate, I'm sorry i…

"Go to hell" she whispered finally allowing the tears to pour down her face.

And with that she ran. But Jack was right behind her, trying to apologise, to make it right.

"Kate please… I'm sorry… don't go… "

He finally caught her just when she was about to open the door and get out. He turned her to him but she wouldn't give up. She tried to get away from him but he wouldn't let her. So she started hitting him with her fists screaming at him to let her go.

"Let go of me!!!" she screamed

"No, Kate, calm down! I'm sorry, I'm sorry… please…I'm so sorry…"

Finally she gave up fighting him and she was now encircled by his arms and crying in his chest. Jack burried his face in her hair and continued apologising to her trying to make her stop crying. She grasped a fistful of his shirt and continued sobbing while Jack was thinking how much an asshole he was.

"Please Kate, I'm sorry… I'm a complete jerk… I'm sorry… I didn't mean it… come on Kate… look at me…" he pleaded with her

Finally she managed to stop sobbing and looked up at him. However once she did, she regretted it immediately. His eyes were so soft, full of worry, worry for her. He gently wiped her tears with his fingers and put a strand of her hair behind her ear. He smiled lightly at her happy to get a reaction from her. She looked at his lips, so soft and…

She couldn't hold on any longer.

She kissed him.

Touching his lips with her own, bringing her hands to hold his face close to hers. God, she couldn't believe how good it felt, how right. She took gently his upper lip with her own, nibbling it and finally putting lightly her tongue in his mouth. She sighed against him feeling him respond to her kiss. The kissed deepened making Kate's knees go weak. She felt his hands lightly touching her arms as if he wasn't sure about his actions. She continued kissing him, without thinking of the consequences.

But suddenly she stopped. She pulled out of the kiss and looked at him. He opened his eyes looking so surprised that if the situation wasn't so akward she would have laughed. But now was not the time for jokes.

She looked at him as surprised as he was. They were speechless. Finally Kate snapped out of it.

"Umm… um… I have to… I've got to go…" she said.

Jack was left staring at her not being able to say a word.

"Bye" she said in a tiny voice, blushing furiously, and not looking at him.

She opened the door and left, leaving Jack even more stunned.

He kept looking at the door, with a stupid look on his face, trying in vain to coprehend what had happened. But he couldn't. She kissed him_. Kissed him_. Kate. Kate had kissed. Why the hell would Kate kiss him? And then run?

"What the hell just happened?" he said aloud more to himself than anyone else.

Kate on the other hand was still running. She didn't know where she was going. All she knew was that she had screwed up. Utterly screwed up.

"Why the hell did I do that? " she thought. "How can I be so stupid?"

Finally she stopped running. She looked around her and realized that she was outside of Shannon's house. So she ran towards it hoping for Shannon to be in there.

She rang the bell and waited impaitently for someone to open the door. After what seemed like hours the door opened and Shannon appeared.

"Hey" she said in surprise. "What's up?"

Kate looked at her, took a deep breath and answered.

"I kissed him"

"What?" asked Shannon astonished.

"I kissed Jack" she said, her eyes watering, finally realizing the importance of what had just happened.

"And I think I'm in love with him" she sobbed as she let the tears pour down her face.

Soooo what did you think??? Lousy?


	4. Nothing happened, right?

A/N: Sorry for the delay guys… I was just too anxious about my exams to sit down and write. Well, hopefully you'll like the next chapter… Enjoy

**Chapter 4**

He was avoiding her. She knew it. But why? Was he mad?

He didn't even look at her. She tried to talk to him but he was always busy.

But what bugged her the most was that he didn't look sad or even angry. He seemed happy. Strangely happy. He was laughing and making jokes with different girls every time. It was like nothing had happened between him and Kate.

Shannon however had made all sorts of theories in her mind. She thought that either he was extremely happy about the kiss or he was extremely happy about the kiss. She was 100 per cent sure that he liked it and that he wanted more.

Kate on the other hand wasn't so sure about that. After all he didn't say a word to her. All he did was to avoid her and go and have fun with the other girls. She didn't want to be jealous but damn it she was. How could he not care about what had happened?

She hadn'had the chance to talk to him but she would whether he liked it or not. She couldn't stand this anymore. After all he was her best friend. They were supposed to talk about everything. Even if that meant akward kisses and confused feelings. She would surely talk to him. But when?

They had only an hour before they would have to leave school so she decided she'd talk to him once they were dismissed. For now she had to withstand with Shannon. She couldn't stop giggling and laughing with the situation although she could clearly see the anxiousness on Kate's face. She just couldn't help it. She was certain that it all would end up well so she tried to appease Kate's worries. But all she managed to do was agitate her even more.

_-Will you stop already? You're getting at my nerves!!!_

_-Only if you tel mel what you're gonna tell him…_

_-I don't know, okay? I just… I don't know._

_-Of course you do… After all you've been thinking about it since morning. So cut the crup and fill me in!_

_-I know I've been thinking about it but that doesn't nesesserily mean that I've figured exactly what to tell him…_

_-Well???_

Kate turned to her friend and glared at her showing her this was not the time. But Shannon was having none of it. She looked at Mr Artz to see if he was looking and she slipped another note to her.

_-I'm not gonna give up. So either you tell me or I keep bothering you. It's your choice…_

_-Not exactly a choice but… anyway… I was thinking maybe I should apologize to him…_

_-What??? For what?_

_-For kissing him…_

_-So what are you gonna tell him?_

_-I'm sorry I kissed you…_

_-Are you sorry?????? (the truth)_

She didn't answer right away. She thought about it a little and still she was hesitant.

_-Yeah… No… I don't know… Maybe a little… or… no I'm not… Damn it Shannon… Why do you always have to be right???_

She giggled at this causing Mr Artz to give her a warning look oblivious to the notes that were passing constantly from the one to the other. He just kept saying whatever it was that he was saying. Still, without making any sense.

_-You know I'm always right. And I will be right when I tell you not to apologize about the kiss._

_-What? Why?_

_-Because he will think that you regreted it and that would be a lie._

_-But what if he's mad at me?_

_-That's not possible. He kissed you back, didn't he?_

_-Yes but he was unsure… Maybe he just didn't want to upset me even more… _

_-Oh come on… It's not like he did you a favor! If he wasn't enjoying it he would have pushed you away… He was just surprised, that's all…_

_-How do you know all these things?_

_-Well, going out with a different guy every two weeks surely educates you on some point._

_-So what do you suggest I tell him?_

_-The truth._

_-Meaning?_

_-That you're madly in love with him, that you wanna marry him and have three kids with him. How's that?_

_-Are you crazy????????? No, my bad, you're stupid!!! _

_-Hey I'm just trying to help!_

_-Well you're not. Listen all I want is for us to get back to what we were. Friends. I doubt that he has that sort of feelings towards me and I don't want to risk losing him as a friend too. In the end, it's not like I want him that bad that I can't control myself. I'll just put aside my feelings and after a while we'll all have forgotten about it._

_-Yeah, like you controled yourself yesterday… _

_-Yesterday was a mistake. I'll apologize and move on. End of conversation._

_-Fine but when you come crying to me and tell me that you can't get over him I'm so gonna remind you how stubborn and stupid you were._

_-Fine_

_-Fine_

After a while the bell rang. Everyone started gathering their things and heading out of the class but not Kate. She was so deep in thought that she hadn't listened to the bell ringing. She only snapped out of it when she saw Jack walking past her and getting quickly out of the class. She hastily picked up her stuff and went after him. This was her last chance.

"Jack! " she called out to him but he was nowhere to be seen.

She spotted Claire at her locker and ran towards her.

"Hey Claire!" she said quickly not wanting to waste any time.

"Hey Kate, what's up?" she asked smiling at her friend.

"Did you see where Jack went?" she asked obviously in a hurry.

"Umm… I think he went out… why? Is something wrong?"

"No, no, no nothing's wrong!" she answered a little too quick to persuade Claire.

"Well he actually looked kind of weird so you might wanna hurry…"

"Weird? How weird?" she asked, her curiosity preventing her from going after him.

"Like he was deep in thought. Will you tell me what's wrong? And no lying!" she warned wagging her finger at Kate.

"Claire now is not the time but I promise I'll call you later and fill you in. Ok?" she asked already starting to head out.

"Ok but you'd better keep your promise or I'll…"

"Goodbye Claire" Kate yelled at her while running towards the exit.

Once she was outside the building she immediately started searching for Jack. But she couldn't find him. There were too many students around her, blocking her view. She pushed them lightly away so that she could get through them, causing many of them to glare at her. But she didn't care. She had to find Jack. She had to find him now, that she had finally found the guts to talk to him about the kiss. She wasn't sure that she could do it if time passed. So this was propably her last chance.

Finally she spotted him walking away from the others holding a blonde's hand. Kate imediately recognized her with a clench of her heart. She was the one who was talking to him yesterday before they went at Jack's place. Juliet. She hated Juliet. She always used to but now she hated her even more. She was on the top 5 of the high school's hottest girls. Why? Kate never understood. In her opinion she was the ugliest girl in the school. She was such a bitch but boys always looked at her like she was some kind of an angel. God that hypocryte!

When Kate had asked Jack if he liked her he had said not particularly. She was pretty but not his type. And she was grateful for that. So why was he walking with her now? And even worse, why was he holding her hand and smiling at her?

She quickly gathered her strength and decided to go and get it over done with. A bitch like Juliet wouldn't prevent her from talking to her friend. Not now not ever.

She approached them from behind still unseen by Jack. But Juliet saw her and gave her one of her pretentious smiles. Oh she's such a…

"Hey there" Juliet said causing Jack to turn around immediately and see who was there. Once he saw it was Kate his face changed. It went from happy to something between sad and angry. She couldn't figure ouy which one it was. All Kate knew was that it was not gonna be easy.

"Hey" said Kate looking at Jack.

He didn't reply. He just nodded causing a wave of sadness to overcome Kate. She took a deep breath trying not to pass out right in fromt of him.

"Can we talk?" she asked in a tiny voice, her eyes pleading wih him but not succeeding.

"What is it?" he asked a little too cold for her liking.

"Private" she said indicating to Juliet.

He let out a tortured breath showing he wasn't happy about it. He looked at Juliet and smiled at her causing Kate to want to rip her hair out of her head.

"I'll meet you in a second. Ok? " he asked in such a sweet tone that made Kate to want to throw up.

Juliet smiled at him and pecked him on his cheek making Kate go dilirious. Oh that blonde little b….

Once she was out of earshot Jack turned to look at Kate witn a not too happy face.

"So what's up?" he said folding his hands in front of his chest, looking at the ground.

"I just wanted to talk to you." she said in such a small voice that she wasn't sure that he had heard her. But he had.

"Then talk" he said tersely obviously not enjoying the conversation.

"Jack…" she said in a breathy whisper finding that she couldn't form any words.

"Kate, I don't have all day. I've got to…

"I'm sorry" she cut him, finally making him look at her. Surprise evident in his eyes.

"Sorry for what?" he asked not really understanding what she was talking about.

"I'm sorry for kissing you." she said averting her eyes from his not wanting to see his raction.

A few seconds passed with them not saying anything and finally Kate snapped out of it.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked agitated by his apathy.

"I'm not seeing the point in it" he said without looking at her.

"Jack…" she said pleadingly.

"What Kate? What do you want from me?" he said sounding hurt and angry.

Kate looked up to him trying to read his face but failing nonetheless.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked blinking back some tears that were threatening to spill.

"No Kate" he sighed "Why would I be mad? Nothing happened right?" he said sarcastically.

"Jack please…"

"No Kate, nothing happened! Let's just forget about the whole thing and move on. Ok?" he said starting to walk away from her.

She didn't reply, just kept looking down, unable to look him in the eye. He didn't say anything either. Looking at her one more time he turned his back on her and started walking towards Juliet.


	5. He's pretending!

_A/N: Hey guys thanks so much for the reviews! It means a lot…. I'm really glad you like my story so far and I'm doing my best not to disapoint you… Enjoy! _

**Chapter 5**

It had been a week since Jack and Kate's last encounter. Since then they hadn't talked at all. Only a "hello" or a "what's up" here and there. Kate was upset, angry, sad, confused, devastated, everything that a person who lately realized that is in love with her best friend, got rejected not only as a girlfriend but as a friend too, should feel.

On the other hand, Jack didn't seem to have any problems at all. On the contrary he seemed to be happier than ever. And that Kate couldn't understand. How could he look so happy and cheerful after everything that had happened? That question, was answered by Shannon.

"He's pretending" she said simply once Kate had confessed to her friend her thoughts.

"What? Why?" she asked clearly confused.

"I don't know" she sighed while they were heading towards their lockers.

"What makes you say that he's pretending?" Kate asked curious about Shannon's prospective on the matter. After all she had much more experience with guys than Kate had.

"Oh come on! It's obvious!" she said looking at a smiling Jack who was walking side by side with Juliet, much to Kate's disapointment.

They kept staring at them for a while waiting for Shannon to prove something. But Kate couldn't see anything other than their hands brushing, Jack's smile getting wider everytime that Juliet whispered something to him and the way he touched her as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 'God this is disgusting' she thought turning her back towards them, not wanting to deal with this anymore.

She looked at Shannon who was still looking at them and asked her.

"Do you think that they're…you know… like… together?"

Shannon finally snaped out of it and turned to answer her friend.

"I doubt it. " she replied with a sceptical tone.

She seemed to think about it for a minute and decided to speak.

"You know…I can't believe that I cannot understand him… I mean, after all he's a guy. I'm supposed to know all about this stuff after all the experience that I had."

"You can say that again" said Kate with a grin.

"Oh shut up. You know you'd die without me" she said grinning at her.

With that they left, leaving Jack behind, looking at Kate with a longing look.

"Hey… hey Jack… JACK!" yelled Juliet trying to attract his attention.

"What?" he said completely oblivious to what she was telling him about.

"I asked you if you'd like to come to my place once we are dismissed." she asked caressing slightly his arm.

Yanking her hand away he replied a little too cold for Juliet's liking.

"No, I can't" he said tersely.

"Why not?" she whined making Jack shiver at her shrill.

"Cause I got things to do" he said turning his back on her missing the angry look she gave him.

"What kind of stuff?" she asked walking right behind.

"Look Juliet I just can't okay? So stop it" he told her a little too loud so that many students turned to look at them.

With that Jack started walking away from her but she wouldn't get the hint. She just kept following him, getting at his nerves. Finally he got outside and started looking for Claire. They had planned the other day to meet up after school and talk. It had been too long since they had hung out together and he really missed her.

If the situation was different he would invite Kate too but things were too complicated now to just have a normal conversation with her. Even though they had agreed to get back to what they were, meaning friends, it was too hard for him. He supposed that it would be hard for Kate too but for him was far more difficult. For reasons that no one knew. Except from Claire.

Once Jack spotted her he quickly walked towards her. He hadn't forgotten that Juliet was right behind him but he decided to just ignore her.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked once she saw him.

"Good" he replied smiling at her. "You?"

"Great. Ready to go?" she asked looking at Juliet, telling him indirectly to get rid of her.

"Yeah, hold on a sec" he said smiling akwardly at her turning to Juliet.

"Well Jules, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he asked

"What??? Don't I get a kiss for goodbye?" she asked smiling coyly at him making him more disgusted than ever.

"Uuhh I don't think it's a good idea… with all the students here watching… they…" he trailed off at what he saw. There, in the middle of the crowd was Kate standing next to a blonde guy, smiling at him. The blonde one, whispered something to her causing her to giggle and push him lightly. Shivers ran down Jack's spine. 'Who the hell was this guy? And why was Kate touching him? he thought anger running through his body. With one final look he turned to Juliet who was looking at him confused at what had happened to him.

It all happened at once. He grabbed Juliet's neck forcing her lips upon his. Her hands went immediately around his neck and his were holding her waist close to him. He kissed her hard, entering his tongue into her mouth much to her pleasure. They kissed for like 3 minutes before they heard Claire clearing her throat.

At once Jack pulled out of the kiss leaving a much too pleased Juliet. He looked at her for one second and then decided it was time to go.

"Okay then. See you tomorrow" he said turning around and heading with Claire towards his place after he saw the all too familiar I'm-Juliet-and-I'm-hot look on her face.

But what he didn't see was the look that Kate had on her face once she saw them kissing. She looked like she was about to cry which wasn't far from the truth. Her lower lip was trembling as she tried to keep the tears from pouring down her face. With one final look at Jack, and a big sigh she turned around and left.

After a few minutes of walking, Claire decided to shed some light on the situation.

"So… Are you gonna tell me what's going on or what?" she asked hoping not to make him snap at her and upset him even more. He hadn't said a word to her since they left school and she was starting to get worried. This wasn't the Jack she knew.

He sighed but didn't say anything. He just kept walking with a sad look on his face as if he was thinking hard about something. And the fact that he didn't want to talk to Claire about it, made her worry even more.

"Jack? Come on, you know you can trust me" she said as she tried to keep up with his pace.

He turned to look at her as if he was seeing her for the first time today.

"Sorry?" he said obviously not having heard anything she'd told him.

She looked at him hard for a minute trying to read his face but failing completely.

"Okay Jack I don't know what the hell is going on but once we're at your place you're gonna spill everything. Do you hear me mister?" she said wagging her finger at him wanting to show him that he had no other choice but to obey her.

"Fine" he said realizing that he wouldn't get away with this time.

Once they reached his place they greeted Margo and went to his room right away. They sat on the bed and looked at each other.

"So?" Claire asked getting more and more impatient by the time.

Jack looked down as if thinking what to tell her which agitated Claire even more.

"Jack cut the crup and tell…"

"She kissed me" he said without lifting up his face and looking at her.

Claire looked surprised for a minute but got her composure quickly.

"I think you were the one who kissed her even though many people were watching" she said even more confused than before.

"No, no, no not her" he said trying to delete the kiss with Juliet from his memory.

"Then who?" she asked more curious than ever.

Finally he looked up, his look filled with sadness and something else that couldn't be identified.

"Kate"

Claire was left looking at him stunned and wide eyed. What the hell? she thought. She was at loss of words. Nothing could have prepared her for this. Absolutely nothing.

"Wha… wh… how… whe…. WHAT???" she yelled taking him by surprise.

"She kissed you?" she asked inridiculously.

He didn't say anything. He just nodded, still not looking at her.

"When?" she asked.

"Uh… I think a week ago." he said quietly replaying the encounter in his head for what seemed the milionth time. And only for that day.

Claire looked at him for a minute, thinking about it and finally snapping at him.

"And when were you gonna tell me? she yelled at him finally making him look at her.

"Claire, I was gonna tell you but…"

"But what? You got more important things to do, like flirting with Juliet?" she asked, sarcasm evident in her voice.

"Claire, you know that's not true. I just didn't know what to think of it so…"

"Didn't know what to think of it? Cut the crap Jack. I'm sure you've already told Charlie or even Sayid so don't pretend like…"

"Claire!" he screamed cutting of Claire making her jump a little at his outburst.

"Can you shut up for a second so that I can explain to you?" he yelled at her.

She looked at him, surprise evident in her look.

"Yep" she said feeling a little embarassed with the way she lashed out at him.

"She kissed me a week ago but I didn't tell you cause I haven't even told myself yet! I tried to avoid the whole thing but it just comes back to me. I tried to forget it but I can't! That's why I asked you to come here today so that I could tell you everything! I haven't told anyone about this cause you're the only one who knows about my past with Kate and I want to keep it that way! Okay?"

She stared at him finally realizing how much troubled he was and cursing herself for blaming him before.

"Sorry" she whispered looking at her feet, feeling too embarassed to look at him.

He took a deep breath, sat down on his bed and sighed miserably.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for. I'm a jerk! I should have told you about it earlier. I'm sorry Claire." he said looking apologetically at her making her heart melt.

"Oh Jack, it's okay. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. But what about we stopped apologizing to each other and talked seriously?"

"Okay" he said. And taking a deep breath he started telling her everything that had happened between him and Kate. The kiss, her running afterwards, their talk the next day and the fact that now they didn't even talk.

Claire was sceptical for a minute until she decided to break the silence.

"So let me get this straight. She kissed you, she ran, and then she apologized for kissing you.?" she asked trying to understand the whole situation.

"Yep" he said while throwing a small ball on the wall.

"And what is the whole thing with Juliet?"

"I..uh… I just needed to forget about everything that had to do with Kate."

"But why?" she asked obviously not pleased with Jack's actions.

"You know why, Claire." he said still playing with the ball.

"But what if she's in love with you? What if her feelings towards you have changed?"

"That's not going to happen" said Jack with a sigh.

"Jack, just because she wanted to be just friends with you then doesn't mean she'll always want just that" Claire said.

"Claire, just drop it"

"No Jack just listen to me. How can you be sure about her feelings for you when she doesn't know yours? You broke your heart so many years ago but she never found out the reason. Remember what you had told her when she asked you why you were so sad?"

He looked at her with thoughtful eyes.

"Yeah" he said "A girl broke my heart."

He said pain evident in his face as he remembered what had happened.

"But you see Jack, she didn't break your heart because she didn't know. You never talked to her about it and she never knew any of this. You just kept it for yourself and just because she introduced you as her best friend you thought that that was never gonna change. But you can't know that, Jack. No one can."

She looked at Jack for a second just to see his reactions. He didn't seem mad at her or upset, just sad and confused. "Here goes nothing" she thought.

"Don't you think that things would have been different if she knew that you were and ,I strongly believe, still are in love with her?"

_Here you go… Hope you liked it…_

_Next chapter: JEALOUSY!_


	6. You already broke it

_A/N: Hi guys! I'm really really really really sorry for the delay! First I had to study for the second part of my english exams and then for school and then for my spanish lessons! Well, you probably have forgotten all about my fic, but here's the next chapter… Hope you like it… _

**Chapter6**

Going to school is believed to be an easy thing. No responsibilities, no worries, no problems. But whoever said it was definitely unaware of all the problems that Kate had to face. Here she was, walking, thinking and praying to God to help her find a solution. But nothing could help her get out of the mess that she had created.

Jack was mad at her and she was oblivious to the reason why. She knew it had something to do with the kiss but she didn't know what exactly. After all it was just a kiss. But then maybe she was such a bad kisser that he was disgusted by her now. But that was ridiculous. She may not have kissed many boys but she couldn't be that bad at it. Right?

Another thought was that he was just angry that she had put their friendship in danger. That was what she couldn't stop thinking after the kiss and it actually made sense. But why did he get even angrier when she apologized to him for the kiss? And why was he avoiding her even though they had fixed things between them? Things were really messed up. There was no doubt about that.

She finally reached the gates of the school and got in. While walking towards her locker she accepted the all too familiar stares from the students but right now she had other things to think about.

She went to her locker as quickly as possible and gathered the things she would need for the day. Her thoughts were all about Jack and their current situation but they were interrupted by someone calling her from behind.

"Well well well, morning Freckles" Sawyer said cheekily looking at her from head to toe.

"Hi Sawyer" she said with a smile trying to clear her head from all the previous thoughts.

"Soooo…" he said suddenly seeming really shy.

"So?" she asked, looking strangely at him. 'Was he blushimg?' she thought.

"Uhh… about what we said yesterday… you know… you want to?... you know…

She kept looking at him trying in vain to understand what he was talking about.

"Come on Freckles, you know what I mean… You'll come to the movies with me?" he asked not really sure about the answer he would get but hopeful nonetheless.

But just when Kate was about to turn down his offer politely, telling him that she was sorry and didn't have the time, Jack entered with a very happy Juliet walking by his side and holding his hand.

Kate forgot all about Sawyer and kept looking at the very irritating towards her scene.

Juliet was smiling like she was voted Prom Queen, clutching Jack's arm like she was trying to claim him as hers. She turned to Kate for a moment, giving her a he's-mine-so-back-off look but she returned her attention to Jack really quickly. She grabbed Jack's head, lowering it so that she could tell him something without having the rest of the students listening to what she was saying. Whatever she whispered to him couldn't be good, in Kate's opinion. Jack was left wide-eyed, with a slight blush on his cheeks. Juliet only laughed at him.

Jack on the other hand, was not looking so happy about Juliet much to Kate's pleasure. All the while she was holding his hand and walking by his side, he seemed like he was trying to get rid of her but couldn't find the way. But when Juliet grabbed his head and whispered something to him, he looked surprised but in a good way. He blushed, something that rarely happened to him, except from the times that Kate poked him about his relationships with girls. So why was he blushing now? And what the hell did Juliet tell him to make him act this way?

Kate's inner question was answered rather cruelly.

Juliet, smiling wickedly, grabbed with both hands Jack's ass and brought him closer to her. Jack looked surprised and really bashful but didn't stop her when she reached out and kissed him forcefully. He even put his hands on her back and responded to her kiss.

Kate was left speechless. If she was to speak she would only yell at that blonde bitch to let go of Jack. She couldn't form any other words. But she was brought out of the miserable state by Sawyer shaking her slightly and asking her if she was okay.

Finally she averted her eyes from what she thought was the most disgusting sight she had ever seen and looked up at an anxious Sawyer.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, slightly worried about her strange behaviour.

"I'm sorry" Kate answered "I got carried away" she said smiling at him trying to get the image of Jack kissing Juliet out of her mind, but failing completely. 'Why the hell did it bother her that much, anyway?'

Sawyer kept looking at her waiting for an answer but she had completely forgotten what the question was in the first place.

"I'm sorry Sawyer, what did you ask me?"

"I said, Will you go out with me to the movies?" he repeated his previous question with the same nervousness surrounding him.

She thought about turning him down but then she looked at Juliet and Jack talking and smiling to each other and decided not to. Why would she stay home alone while Jack was obviously getting it on with his new girlfriend?

"Actually, I think it's a really good idea. I'd loved to" she said smiling, fakely, but smiling nonetheless.

With that Sawyer regained his confidence and stepped closer to her.

"So when do you wanna go?" he asked hovering over her.

"How about tomorrow?" she said trying to see if Jack was still with Juliet but not succeeding.

"Tomorrow it is then" he said and bent a little so that he could kiss her on the cheek.

Kate didn't object but let him kiss her while closing her eyes and thinking that she was doing the right thing. Sawyer slowly kissed her cheek, lingering there and then moved to her neck, breathing heavily and finally whispering" I can't wait"

When he was finally gone Kate opened her eyes but didn't dare to look towards Jack, trembling at the thought that they would be making out by now, shallowing each other's mouth.

She turned quickly to her locker and picked up her things. But doing so she missed Jack's angry and desperate look.

Jack had been wathcing her by the time he and Juliet had come in. He had seen that Sawyer was telling her something but he was relieved by the fact that she didn't look so pleased about his presence. He really didn't want Juliet with him but he couldn't find a way to get rid of her. So he had to tolerate her holding his hand like he was her property and watching her smile as if she had won the lottery.

And then surprise overtook him by the extremelly naughty things she whispered to him while grabbing his head. He was completely stunned and unable to react when she grabbed his ass and kissed him forcefully. He put his hands on her back but didn't kiss her back not wanting to show her feelings that did not exist.

When she realized he wasn't responding she pulled out of the kiss and looked at him strangely.

"What's wrong, baby?" she asked making that pout that Jack hated seeing.

"Nothing's wrong Juliet, I just… I guess I'm not in the mood…"

But he trailed off at what he saw. He stopped breathing and his heart started beating a lot faster. He couldn't form any words so he just stayed there, looking at the most disturbing scene ever.

There, in font of her locker stood Kate with her eyes closed and Sawyer hovering over her kissing her cheek and whispering something to her. His mouth was dangerously close to her neck but she didn't seem to be annoyed by it. His hands were holding her waist and before he dropped them he carressed it for a bit.

Once he was gone, Kate, without looking up, turned towards her locker, grabbed her things and left for her class.

Jack was left looking angry, sad and desperate. But he was brought out of this state by Juliet carressing his neck and asking him if he was okay. Truth be told he was nothing but okay. 'What the hell was Kate doing with Sawyer?' Sawyer fancied her, there was no doubt about that. Everybody in school knew it, even Kate knew it. But she always said that Sawyer was not her type. She liked him as a person but she was determined that he wouldn't be such a good boyfriend, at least for her. So why the hell was she acting like this with him now?'

"Baby?" Juliet asked obviously irritated by Jack's behaviour.

"Not now Juliet" he said finally managing to avert his eyes from Kate.

He turned to his locker and picked up his things, not in the mood to have Juliet getting at his nerves with all her stupid comments.

"Then when?" she asked folding her hands in front of her chest and acting like she was mad at him.

"Never" he said and with that he left her there stunned and angry.

Being in class was never a terrible thing for Jack. Even if he was bored or sick of listening to what teachers were talking about, he would always find something to do with his time. He would talk with Sayid, who was sitting next to him, or draw on his desk or even read his favorite magazine about cars.

But not today. Today was probably one of his worst days in school. He couldn't concentrate on anything, couldn't occupy his mind with anything but the image of Sawyer kissing Kate. Even if it wasn't an actual kiss it was a kiss nonetheless. Sawyer was too close to Kate for Jack's liking.

Even if they were going out Kate would never act this way in public, especially in front of all those students who were watching them. Even when she was dating Tom, she was never like this. She was too bashful and shy around guys and always tried to hide her relationship both from the other students and the teachers.

Tom. That guy was probably the most unfitting one for Kate. At least according to Jack. He was nothing more than a stupid and brainless little boy who had a crush on Kate. Jack could never understand what Kate saw in him and formed a relationship with him, but never told her his exact opinion. He would just try to make her understand that he was not the right guy. Finally, after a year of them being together, Kate realized what a jerk Tom was and broke up with him. Fortunatelly she got over him quickly enough and Jack was happy again.

But Sawyer was far worse than Tom. He was ugly, stupid and cocky. He was acting like an asshole all the time and he seemed like he didn't respect anything or anyone. Jack was always disturbed by Kate's making light of his disadvantages and augmenting his advantages. She always believed in him and that he could be a really good person one day and that's why she kept talking to him even though most of the students would rather die than be around him for more than five minutes. Jack was always pointing out that Sawyer would never change but Kate always got mad at him and asked him to stop bashing about someone he didn't know.

Jack had had the suspicion that she liked Sawyer, more than friendly, so he asked her that. Even though she told him it was none of his business she explained to him how he wasn't her type and that he was not what she wanted for a boyfriend.

That answer had appeased him for a while but now his fears had returned.

He watched Kate from behind while Mr Artz was explaing them something he really wasn't interested in. She looked sceptical and troubled. 'What could she been thinking?' he thought.

Before he got the chance to answer that question the bell rang and everyone started gathering their things as this was their last hour for today. He picked up his things really quickly, willing to talk to Kate or even ask her to walk with him.

He saw her going out, saying goodbye to Shannon and heading off towards her house.

'This is my last chance' he thought and ran to her.

At first she didn't seem to aknolwedge his presence as she was looking down and obviously was deep in thought.

"Hey" he said making her jump a little and look at him in surprise.

"Sorry" he apologized quickly "Didn't mean to scare you"

"It's okay, don't worry" she said not looking at him, a little too cold for his liking.

"So… what's up?" he asked trying to make a conversation with her but not succeeding.

"Nothing's up Jack" she said tersely, obviously not enjoying his company.

But he was determined to speak to her whether she liked it or not. It was all or nothing.

"I thought Sawyer was not your type"

With that Kate stopped abruptly and glared at him causing him to regret asking her.

"Excuse me?" she said.

"I saw you today Kate. With him." he said as if he was proving something.

She looked at him for a minute like he was completely out of his mind making hm even angrier with her.

"What's your point?" she asked inridiculously.

"My point is that even though you have claimed that Sawyer is not your type and not the kind of guy you want, you still flirt with him as if you were dating him. Or maybe you've already gone out with him and forgot to tell me, right?" he said sarcastically.

"Remind me why this is any of your business" she said getting really pissed off by his attitude.

"Because I'm your friend" he yelled at her.

"Well I'm your friend too but I don't remember you coming to me to tell me you were going out with Juliet" she yelled back at him.

"That's different" he said in a calmer voice.

"How's that different?"

"Because Juliet and I are not dating, we just…" he trailed off not sure how to explain to Kate their current situation.

"You just what? Screw her once in a while and make out with her in front of all the students? That's really nice, Jack. Well done." she said finally getting it out of her system.

"Don't talk like that" he said warningly.

"I'll talk however I want. You're not my father and I'm sure as hell you're not my husband!" she screamed to him making him jump at her sudden outburst.

"You know nothing about me and Juliet" he angrily bit out.

She laughed at this.

"That's right Jack, because for the last couple of weeks you act like I don't exist. You pretend like we're okay but all you do is avoid me and turm you back on me. I'm not even sure that you'd cared if I died any more."

"You know I care about you" he said slightly offended by her comment.

"Really? Cause you definitely act like you don't give a shit about me!" she yelled at him, a tear falling from her eyes making Jack feel really guilty about the way he was treating her all these days.

He tried to wipe the tear away but she pushed his hand away.

"Don't touch me" she said bitterly, more tears falling from her eyes.

"Kate I'm really sor…"

"Kate!!!"

He was cut off by Sawyer. 'I hate that guy' thought Jack.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" he asked her while glaring at Jack.

"Yeah thanks. Go ahead and I'll meet you in a sec" she said wiping her tears away.

"Okay" he said sending Jack one last glare.

Once Sawyer was gone Jack turned to Kate with an angry look.

"So what? You're going out with him?"

"What if I am? I'm pretty sure I have the right to go out with whomever I want"

"Yeah but I'll be the one to pick up the pieces once he'll break your heart"

That hurt.

She walked dangerously close to him, coming face to face with him.

"I promise you that you'll never have to deal with my problems any more. I wouldn't want to spoil your perfect life" she said in a hateful tone.

She started walking away from him but turned around and added bitterly.

"Oh and as for my heart, I don't think Sawyer will have much work to do."

"Why's that?" he asked confused

"Cause you already broke it." she said sadly and walked away leaving a very sad and confused Jack behind.

_And that's that. Well??? What did you think??? _

_I promise you I'll try to update sooner this time…_


	7. A ridiculous situation

_A/N: Hey guys! Firstly I'd like to apologize to the skaters for bashing about Sawyer in my previous chapter. The fact is that I wanted to present Jack being jealous of him and telling all that stuff about him. What I wrote about Sawyer was supposed to be Jack's opinion which is definitely not impartial due to his jealousy. Even though I'm a jater, I kinda like Sawyer and I definitely don't think he's ugly. I just didn't manage to write the facts as they were in my mind. So sorry… And as for the Sayid-request I included him in this chapter even though he doesn't talk too much. Anyway, here's the next chapter as promised and it is longer too. I would have posted it sooner but as many of you already know, I had trouble uploading the story… Hope you'll enjoy it…_

_Warning: I used the f word so…_

**Chapter 7**

"So what happened?"

"Nothing happened Claire." Jack said with a sigh, not really in the mood to talk about his current situation with Kate.

After his little talk with Kate, he was left even more confused and angry. Not with her but with himself. He had been extremely rude towards her and acted like he was her father or something. He knew he had no right to tell her with whom she would go or not go out with, but somehow he forgot all about that when he saw her with Sawyer.

Seeing her with him made him feel empty inside. He couldn't describe the exact feeling but it was definitely something he couldn't stand. And right now, this feeling was the last thing he wanted to talk about with Claire. But unfortunately for him, Claire was having none of it.

"Jack stop lying to me and tell me what the hell happened!" she yelled at him, taking him by surprise.

He looked at her for a minute, realizing that it would be better to just tell everything before he ended up with his foot in his mouth. He took a deep breath and answered her with only two words.

"Kate happened"

He watched her expression change. It turned from angry to curious and then to realization.

"Oh…" she whispered, feeling bad for pushing him to tell her something that was obviously too painful for him.

"Yeah…" he chuckled, rubbing nervously the back of his neck.

They stayed in silence for a while until Claire broke it.

"So… what about Kate?" she whispered slowly, afraid if she talked louder Jack would snap and refuse to tell her.

"She… she just…it's nothing really." he finally said, not really sure how to explain the way he was feeling.

"If it's nothing then why do you look like your cat died, Jack?" she asked him, still in a small voice, trying to make him open up to her.

"I'm stupid. That's the problem. I acted like a complete jerk." he said getting angry at himself once again.

She looked at him, sad for him, but not realizing what he was talking about.

"Jack, what are you talking about?" she asked holding his hand, trying to comfort him but not succeeding it.

"I kinda yelled at her for…" he trailed off remembering how stupid he was to act this way.

"For?" Claire asked getting impatient .

"I yelled at her for going out with Sawyer" he finally said, with a cold smile.

An "oh" was Claire's reaction.

A few minutes passed with them not saying a thing until Claire spoke again.

"What did you tell her?" she asked careful not wanting to push any of his buttons.

"I asked her why she was with him even though she had said that he wasn't her type and told her that she shouldn't go out with him."

"And?"

"And she told me I had no right to tell her whom she could go out with and that I don't care about her any more."

"But that's not…"

"I know Claire" he interrupted her. " But she can't possibly know how I feel about her when I ignore her and I'm with Juliet all the time, can she?" he said obviously hating himself for the way he had treated Kate the last couple of weeks.

Claire was silent for a moment and then added

"That's all?"

"No. You see that's were I don't know what the hell got into me" he said

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her that…. Jesus… I told her that I had the right to tell her about Sawyer because I'd be the one to pick up the pieces once Sawyer broke her heart. Like she would be a burden or something."

Claire winced at this making Jack look at her.

"Why the hell did I tell her something like that? Huh? God, what is wrong with me?" he groaned falling back onto the bed.

Claire just smiled.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked getting angry with his friend.

"You're jealous" she said as if that explained everything.

"What? I'm not jealous…" he refused finding the idea of him being jealous of Sawyer stupid and crazy.

"Of course not" she said still smiling, not believing a word he said.

"Why would I be jealous of Sawyer? He's stupid, cocky and completely unattractive. He's nothing but a… stop smiling!" he said getting furious with his friend.

"I'm sorry it's just that…" she trailed off as she started laughing hysterically and was no longer able to form any words.

Jack just glared at her not realizing what she found so funny. Here he was telling her his feelings and she was laughing about them.

When she finally stopped the hysterical laughter she looked at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry" she said still laughing lightly.

"Forget about it" he said still angry.

"Jack, just listen to me for a second, okay?"

"Fine" he said not looking at her.

"Good. Now pay attention. Sawyer is probably one of the hottest guys in school…"

"You can't possible believe that…"

"Shut up Jack!" she yelled at him. " When I'm done talking you can say whatever you want. Okay?"

"Okay" he said mimicking her voice. "I swear sometimes you sound like my mother" he added silently but still Claire heard it.

"I'm gonna ignore your last comment and keep talking" she said while glaring at him.

"I'm all ears" he said sarcastically.

"As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted, Sawyer is one of the hottest and good looking guys in school"

At this point Jack nodded his head in sarcasm but didn't inerrupt her, wanting to know where this little speech of hers would end.

"And in spite of his cockyness and his stupid nicknames he is very likable to girls, whether you want to admit it or not" she added seeing his expression.

When he didn't say anything she continued.

"And even though Kate had said he wasn't her type she is not forbiddened to go out with him. She knows he likes her and she does too but in a different way."

"Exactly!" he interrupted again. "Why would she go out with him if she doesn't like him???"

"I don't know Jack!" she yelled back at him. "Truth be told, you've treated her like shit so I don't blame her for wanting to spend some time with someone who at least talks to her!" she finally snapped at him.

He looked at her, hurt evident in his eyes.

"So we've concluded that I'm a jerk, right?" he said sarcastically, standing up.

No, Jack, I didn't…" she started saying, regretting her previous outburst.

"No, Claire you were right. I had no right to talk to Kate like that and I sure as hell don't have the right to tell her if she can go out with Sawyer. I'm sorry, I got to… I should go home." he said, grabbing his bag and leaving without looking back.

Claire was left regretting what she had told him and feeling sorry for him.

Even though seeing Jack acting like a madman because of his love for Kate was kinda cute and funny, it was also heartbreaking. Claire knew that Jack would never find the courage to go and tell Kate his feelings about her but she also knew that she had promised Jack not to do anything about it. And that included telling Kate about any of these.

But she had to do something. He was like a brother to her. He was always there for her, no matter what. The problem was that she feared that she would mess things up even more, resulting in making Jack hate her and suffer even more.

On the other hand, there isn't love without risk. And if Jack isn't willing to risk then she would do it for him. 'And God show me mercy' she thought as she stood up and went downstairs.

Her mom was at work so she had all the place for herself.

'I might as well take advantage of that' she thought.

After a little searching she finally found the phone and dialed the number, hoping that all of these would have a happy ending.

"Hello?" said the voice from the other end of the telephone.

"Hi. Could I speak to Sayid?" she asked with a sweet voice not wanting to get into trouble for calling.

"Wait a minute, please" answered the voice, which probably belonged to his mother.

A minute passed and finally Sayid answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sayid, it's Claire."

"Hey, Claire what's up? Something wrong?" he asked worry evident in his voice.

"Oh don't worry it's nothing important. I was just wondering if you could come to my place cause there's something I wanted to talk to you about"

"Sure" was his reply. "What time?"

"Now."

"Oh" said Sayid surprised. "Okay. I'll be there in about 20 minutes"

"Ok thanks. See you" she said and as soon as Sayid had dropped the line she dialed another number.

"Hello?" said the familiar to Claire voice.

"Shannon is that you?"

"Yeah. What's up Claire?"

"Are you with Kate?"

"Uh… No. Why?"

"Can you come over to my place in about 15 minutes?"

"Uh… yeah I can but why?"

"I'll tell you when you get here"

"Ok. I'm coming"

"Oh Shannon! Please don't tell Kate. Don't ask why, I'll explain everythin once you get here.Please?"

"Okay. But you'd better have a good explanation"

"I will, I promise"

'Now all I have to do is pray to God not to make all these blow up into my face' Claire thought with a sigh.

After about 20 minutes the doorbell rang. Claire jumped at the sound and ran over to open up almost falling over the couch.

"Hey" it was Sayid.

"Hey. Come in" she said moving lightly to let him in. "Take a sit" she added watching him standing akwardly near her.

Once they both sat Sayid looked at her seriously.

"So? What's the matter?" he asked.

"First of all, you've got to promise me that you're not gonna tell Jack about any of the things we're gonna discuss in a few seconds"

"Claire…" he started to object

"Sayid trust me, I'm doing it for his sake but if he finds out I'm dead.Please?" she said doing her best puppy dog eyes.

"Fine" he said with a sigh.

But before he could continue the doorbell rang making Claire rush over to the door and open it reavealing a very pissed of Shannon.

"This had better be really good cause I had to say an enormous amount of lies to Kate just so you…" she trailed of seeing that they had company. 'And what company!' she thought smiling slightly.

"Hey" she said smiling and looking at Sayid.

"Hey" he said standing up, blushing slightly.

There was an akward silence between the three while Claire watched Shannon and Sayid exchange sly smiles.

"Okay" she said, loud enough, to make them stop acting like "lovebirds" and start getting down to business.

They all sat waiting for Claire to tell them what was so important that they had to come to her place and not tell about it to Kate and Jack.

"As we all know, Jack and Kate, have been friends for about 4 years" she started not really sure what to say next.

She looked at them and saw them waiting for answers.

"Ok guys, look. Jack has told me something and made me promise not to tell anyone so this is really hard for me. I know if he finds out, he'll never forgive me but I got to do something about it cause he's so miserable that I can't stand it." she said with one breath.

"Ok Claire we won't tell anything but please tell us what this is about cause you're killing us" Sayid said.

Shannon on the other hand didn't say a thing. She didn't know if they knew about the kiss but she couldn't risk telling them. Maybe that was what Claire wanted to talk to them about. But why make such a ruckus?

"Ok then. Here's the thing" she said looking really nervous.

Taking a deep breath she said

"Jack has been in love with Kate for 4 years. He was going to tell her that 3 years ago but he heard her say that Jack could only be her best friend when she was asked by another girl at her party. He was heart broken and decided that he would just get over it. He only told me cause he felt too embarrassed to tell anyone else. He kept hiding his feelings for Kate hoping that one day they would vanish. But he couldn't just stop loving her. And he couldn't tell her about it either. " she stopped to take a breath and watch her friends' reactions.

Sayid was looking at her calmly but it was obvious he was going crazy inside. Shannon however didn't bother to hide her surprise. She was left wide-eyed and with her mouth open looking like she was about to have a heart-attack. Finally she snapped out of it.

"What?" she yelled trying to make sense of all the information she had just learned.

"I know you think I'm crazy but it's ll true" Claire said.

There were a few minutes of silence until Shannon broke it as a realization hit her.

"That's why he was mad about the kiss???" she literally screamed jumping off the couch.

"He wasn't mad, just confused. And also hurt when she told him he was sorry" Claire explained but Shannon couldn't listen as she was laughing hysterically falling down and clutching her stomach.

Sayid on the other hand was still baffled.

"What kiss?"

Claire was trying to answer but couldn't due to the hysterical laughter of Shannon.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked Shannon as her laughter started to decrease.

"I'm sorry it's just the whole thing is ridiculous…" she said still laughing making Claire snap at her.

"Ridiculous? You think it's ridiculous that Jack has been suffering over Kate for so long? Are you serious?" she yelled at Shannon finally losing her temper.

"No I'm sorry. It's just that Kate and I have been trying to figure out why he was acting like this towards her after the kiss, but never found out. And after we saw him with Juliet we concluded that he was either afraid that his friendship with Kate would be destroyed or his relationship with Juliet would be ended. I could never have imagined that Jack was in love with Kate while she was…" suddenly she realized what she was gonna say as well as the fact that she wasn't allowed to and stopped talking.

But Claire realized she was hiding something and wouldn't stop till she found out what it was.

"While she was what?" she asked

Shannon looked at her as if saying "don't do this to me" but Claire was having none of it.

"Hey, I just told you my friend's deepest secret! If you want to help them clear this out you've got to start talking" Claire said

Shannon still looked hesitant but she finally decided to speak.

"Kate had a dream 2 weeks ago, where Jack and her were kinda…together…like…you know… anyway… and she started thinking why the hell she would dream something like that with her best friend. So I started teasing her about it and she kinda admitted that she felt different about him than she used to. Anyway, Jack noticed that she was acting weird and asked her to go over to his place. There, Jack wanted to know what was wrong with her but she couldn't tell him cause she thought she was gonna ruin their friendship. So they started yelling at each other and they ended up with Kate crying and Jack holding her. Then one thing led to another and she kissed him. When she realized what she had done though, she got scared, and ran."

"Yeah we know all these but…"

"Hold on miss Sunshine, I'm getting there." Shannon scolded Claire.

"As I was saying she ran and she came to my place where she tearfully admitted that she was in love with Jack"

"Oh" was Claire's reaction. She definitelely didn't see that one coming.

Sayid, who hadn't said a word still looked baffled.

"So to sum up" Shannon interrupted the long silence, "Jack's in love with Kate but thinks that she doesn't see him in this way and Kate's in love with Jack but she thinks that Jack doesn't see her in that way."

When nobody said anything she added "How fucked up is that?"


	8. We were just fighting!

_A/N: I know you probably hate me by now for taking that long to update but I swear I had a really good reason! I was so busy I didn't even have time to watch the new episode of lost. ( Which I saw a few hours ago and it rocked! Skate is so over! apologies to the skaters I like Sawyer but in the end I'm a jater) Anyway, after all the waiting I put you through I had to make it up to you… So here's a new chapter, longer and I dare to say happier. So just read it and tell me what you think!_

_**Warning**__: Ok there are gonna be some adult situations in this chapter, nothing graphic but if any of you find it offending tell me to rate it M._

Chapter8

The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.

That's what Astrid Alauda once said.

And that was the case of one Jack Shepard and a Kate Austen.

They both lived in oblivion of their feelings toward each other and they both were too stubborn to admit it even to themselves.

So the pain just grew stronger and stronger. And the fact that they denied it just made it worse.

"Why don't you admit it?"

"Because then it would be a lie"

Claire had called Jack on Friday night, right after her little meeting with Sayid and Shannon. After a lot of talking and fighting with each other the three of them made a decision. They would break them.

So there she was now, Claire, pretending to be studing with Jack but what she was really doing was pushing him to admit his feelings. So far she hadn't had so much of a success. But she wouldn't give up that easily.

"I know you are in love with her so why don't you cut the crap and start talking?"

"I thought I came here to study with you." he told her as a matter of fact.

"We will study once you admit that you're jealous of Sawyer" she argued.

"I'M NOT JEALOUS OF SAWYER!" he yelled at her

Claire's answer was a tiny smile.

"You just keep saying that to yourself" she said still smiling.

"Why are we even having this conversation?" an exasperated Jack asked. "I thought we were done talking about Kate and everything that includes her."

"No. YOU stopped talking about her. YOU! And that happened because you're such a sissy that you can't even admit your feelings for her!" Claire yelled, knowing that she finally pushed his buttons.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" Jack screamed at her furious with his friend's attitude.

"I WANT YOU TO ADMIT THAT YOU LOVE HER!" Claire screamed back at him. She knew she was risking way too much by acting this way but there was no other way.

"FINE! I LOVE HER! I'M DYING FOR HER! I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HER I STOP BREATHING WHEN SHE'S CLOSE TO ME! I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HER AND WHENEVER I SEE HER WITH SAWYER I WANT TO KILL HIM AND THEN GRAB HER AND KISS HER TILL SHE CAN'T BREATHE!"

He was now standing, hovering over Claire close to tears. He was breathing hard after all this screaming and yelling but his look was gonna be etched in Claire's mind forever. She couldn't quite place his exact feeling but his eyes told her he was devastated, angry, sad and desperate. He finally expressed his feelings for Kate but surprisingly Claire was even sadder for him than she used to be. That was because she couldn't stand watching him in so much pain. It was killing her. And the fact that she was lying to him didn't help her consience. But she had to remind herself that it was for his own good and that everything would fall into place in the end.

She was about to burst into tears and apologize to him for torturing him but she stood her ground and hold back the tears.

"Finally" she said trying to be cold to him but not entirely succeeding.

"Finally what?" he asked her, his voice hoarse from all the yelling.

"You're being honest to me and to yourself" she said watching his expressions carefully.

He didn't reply. He just sat back down on the bed and rubbed his temple still breathing hard.

They were silent for a few minutes, lost in their thoughts until Claire decided to speak.

"I'm sorry" she said truthfully making Jack jump in surprise and look at her strangely.

"I mean for pushing you admit something that's painful to you."

He didn't answer but pulled her into a big hug buring his face in her long blonde hair.

"You have nothing to be sorry for" he whispered holding her tightly.

"I just don't want to see you suffer over something that you don't want to admit. It's better to know what it is that causes you the pain rather than living in oblivion" Claire told him holding him tightly and rubbing slightly his back.

"Yeah well… it doesn't make any difference" Jack sighed pulling away from the hug.

"Yes it does Jack" Claire told him firmly.

"You have to understand that a lot of things have changed since that time when Kate saw you only as a friend. You can't know how she feels about you now because you haven't asked her."

"I can't do that Claire" Jack said feeling more desperate than ever. "She can't like me in that way and I don't blame her. "

"Then why did she kiss you?" Claire asked him wanting to tell him all that Shannon had confessed about Kate's feelings but remembered her promise and backed off. If she couldn't tell him then she would have to make him understand it on his own. The problem was he was too damn stubborn to do so.

"Because… because I was there… because she was vulnerable… and… and… and I don't know Claire. But hell will freeze before I go to her and confess my feelings for her."

"Yeah but…" Claire started but got interrupted.

"No buts Claire. I don't wanna talk about it any more. Let's forget about it and soon I will get over her. Besides I have to go home cause I do have homework to do, something you seem to have forgotten." he told her with a disapproving look, standing up and gathering his things.

"Fine then. But promise me you'll think about it and…"

"Yes Claire I will. Bye" he said and left to go home.

"So what, you changed your mind?"

"No. I just misunderstood what I was feeling."

"Cut the crup for God's sake!" Shannon yelled to her friend.

"Shannon…"

"Don't Shannon me. How could you say you misunderstood your feelings? I WAS THERE WHEN YOU CRIED YOUR EYES OUT BECAUSE YOU SAW HIM KISSING JULIET!"

"That wasn't why…" Kate tried to defend herself but failed cause Shannon didn't let her finish.

"That wasn't why what? Why you cried? Then why did you? Because you don't think she's good enough for him, right? Is that it? You're such good friends that you want the best for each other, right? Well, let me tell you something. FRIENDS DON'T GET JEALOUS! FRIENDS DON'T CRITICIZE THEIR GIRLFRIENDS OR BOYFRIENDS! AND FRIENDS DEFINITELY DON'T KISS!" Shannon screamed.

She saw Kate's expression and had to try hard to contain her laughter. She was wide eyed with her mouth hung open. Shannon knew she was overreacting but she had to so as to make Kate admit her feelings once and for all. She was getting reall pissed by her friend's reaction so the screaming and yelling came pretty easily.

Kate didn't say a thing. She was left staring at her friend as if she were crazy. Why the hell was she acting like this? Kate thought. She knew that she was making Shannon mad by refusing to talk about Jack but she didn't expect such an outburst.

"I'm… sorry?" she said reluctanly watching Shannon's expression going softer.

"No, don't be sorry. Just stop lying to me and to yourself" Shannon said calmer this time.

"Shannon I know you're looking out for me but I'm fine. I don't know exactly what this thing between me and Jack is but I'll get over it." Kate said trying her best to sound honest.

"Kate" Shannon said in a warning tone. "Don't make me start screaming again"

"Shannon, I told you…"

"You told me what? Cause you've been telling me different things each day. First you were confused about the dream, then you kissed him and told me you were in love with him…

"I didn't…" Kate intervered.

"Let me finish. You did tell me you were in love with him and even if you didn't mean it your behaviour the next few days is screaming that you love him."

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked.

"What am I talking about? I'm talking about tha fact that you literaly wanted to rip Juliet's hair off her head just because she was close to Jack. I'm talking about the fact that you were on the verge of tears when you saw Jack kissing Juliet and the fact that you couldn't bring yourself to go out with Sawyer even though he is one of the most wanted guys in our school. Now if these things don't prove you have the hots for Jack I don't know what does."

"I DON'T HAVE THE HOTS FOR JACK!" she screamed.

"Alright. Then you won't have a problem going to his place, will you?" Shannnon asked with a cheeky smile.

"Why would I go to his place?" a worried Kate asked suddenly finding the idea of her going to his home very dangerous.

"Because he forgot his science book at school and Mr Artz told me to give it to him." she said still smiling.

"He told YOU to give it to him. I don't have anything to do with that." Kate said trying to avoid meeting with Jack.

"Yeah well I'm giving it to you so you can give it to him" she said while leaving his book on Kate's desk.

"No you won't" Kate said picking up the book and giving it back to Shannon.

"Yes I will" Shannon said laughing at her friend's behaviour.

"And if you don't feel anything about Jack as you strongly try to convince me then you won't have a problem going to his place, right?" she said smiling cheekily at her, daring her to prove the opposite.

Kate seemed to think about it for a minute and then making her best to look certain she said

"Alright then. If that's the only way to convince you of my feelings then I'll go"

"Great" Shannon said happy for her success.

The truth was that this book was not Jack's but hers. The previous night, Shannon, Claire and Sayid had come up with a plan to make them meet and confront each other. Firstly, Claire would make Jack admit his feelings for Kate so that he would be vulnerable and then Shannon would force Kate to go to him even though she would think it was her idea. Sayid's role in the plan would be to go to Jack's place before Kate and make sure they would meet. So far the plan was working.

"Ok then. Call me to tell me how it went." Shannon said winking at her.

"Nothing will happen Shannon." Kate said with sigh.

"If you say so" she whispered but still Kate heard her.

"Goodbye Shannon" she waved at her indicating it was time for her to go.

"See ya"

"So?"

"So what?"

"So what's wrong? You told me you had to tell me something"

Sayid was in Jack's room waiting for Kate to show up. But while he was waiting he had to find something to tell Jack because he was gonna get caught.

"Well?" a curious Jack asked his friend.

"Well… it's just that…. i…."

"Spill it, Sayid"

"I like Shannon"

Why the hell did he say that? Sayid thought. I was supposed to tell something to distract him not tell him my own feelings, he thought. And the problem was he was telling the truth. He liked Shannon. A lot. But he shouldn't be troubling Jack with his own crush but help him solve his.

Jack on the other hand was finding this amusing.

At least I managed to cheer him up, Sayid thought.

"You mean like her, or like like her?" Jack asked with a smile even though he knew the answer.

"I mean like like her like a woman…girl… not a friend… like… you know what I mean" he said finally not really wanting to get into details about the way he felt for Shannon.

"So why don't you ask her out?" Jack asked still laughing at his friend's shyness.

"Because I can't and stop laughing" Sayid said.

"Why not?" Jack asked trying in vain to hide his smile.

"Because she's Shannon, Jack! She can have every guy she wants! Why would she bother with me?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Sayid. You'll never know if you don't ask her."

"Look who's talking" Sayid mumbled under his breath but fortunately Jack didn't hear it.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing" Sayid quickly replied. "I just wonder how you escaped her"

"She's not my type" Jack said with a shrug.

"Oh right, I forgot" Sayid said catching Jack's attention.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, I just…"

Forunately for him the doorbell rang and Sayid stood up.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked him.

"Won't you open that?" Sayid asked.

"My mom's downstairs. It's probably one of her friends coming to play bridge." he said with a shrug.

"Yeah…" Sayid whispered, knowing it wasn't some old friend of Margo's but Kate entering his house at the exact moment.

Meanwhile Kate was entering Jack's house more nervous than ever.

"Hello sweetie" Margo said to her. "Is Jack waiting for you?"

"Uh… no… I just… he forgot his book at school and I brought it to him" Kate said akwardly showing the book to Jack's mother as if to prove that this was her real reason for coming.

"Oh okay. He's upstairs." she said smiling and going back to the kitchen.

Kate slowly made her way upstairs. She was debating whether or not to go in his room. She could just leave the book to his mother and go back home. She didn't have to confront him today. Sh had all the time in the world. Why now? Because you'll prove Shannon that you are over Jack, a small voice told her.

She finally reached Jack's bedroom door and taking a deep breath she knocked the door.

"Come in" Jack called.

She reluctanly opened the door and she imediately spotted him sitting on his desk. Jack looked shocked at the sight of her and he quickly stood up. Sayid realized it was time for him to go.

"I think it's time for me to go" he announced but didn't get an answer. Both Jack and Kate were looking at each other like there wasn't anyone other in the world. Sayid took the hint and left right away.

A few minutes passed with them not saying a thing, just looking at each other until Jack broke the silence.

"Hey" he said akwardly.

"Hey" she replied, smiling lightly.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yup. You?"

"Yeah" he answered.

They were again silent for a while when Kate remembered why she was here in the first place.

"Oh i… you… you forgot your book at school and… Mr Artz wanted me to… Shannon… I mean…"

Jack, smiling at her embarassment, took the book from her hands and looked at it carefully.

"That's not mine" he said after a while.

"What?" she said surprised taking the book quickly.

She looked at the cover and spotted what she was looking for.

"That little bitch"

"Kate" Jack said in a disapproving way.

"Sorry. It's just that… I'm gonna kill her!" she said with a sigh.

"Who?" a confused Jack asked.

"Shannon. She told me it was yours so that I would come here."

"Oh" was Jack's answer.

They fell into silence again until Kate decided it was time for her to go.

"Ok then I'll just go…" she said akwardly.

"Why?" he said quickly "I mean, why don't you stay?" he asked blushing furiously.

"I can't I have to… I have homework to do cause tonight I'm going out" she said quickly.

It was a lie of course but Jack didn't have to know. She just needed a plausible excuse so as to not stay much longer in his room.

"Right" he said.

She turned to leave but Jack stopped her.

"You going out with Sawyer?" he said in a bitter tone that pissed off Kate.

"Why do you care?" she asked coldness in her eyes. She hadn't forgotten his harsh words from the other day.

"I don't" he said coldly.

"Don't worry, I won't come crying on your doorstep after he breaks my heart" she told him sarcastically repeating his words.

"Kate…" he started to apologize but she cut him off.

"Don't" she said firmly. "You made your point clear the other day. I keep bothering you with my problems but now I'll stop."

"The only thing that bothers me is the fact that you're dating that hillbilly" he said raising his voice.

"Who I date is none of your business!" she raised her voice too.

"I know cause you keep reminding me that! I guess I'm nothing to you now, right?" he said sarcastically.

"When you act like a jerk, yes!" she yelled at him.

"Oh and here I thought you liked jerks! Maybe I should start talking with a southern accent and give people stupid nicknames! What was yours…? Oh right Freckles! You want me to call you that or do you want me to find something else?"

Her answer to his speech was nothing more and nothing less than a slap across his face. They both looked stunned at Kate's reaction but the angry look was still on her face.

Grabbing her arm Jack crushed her against him, his face inches away from hers.

"You wanna try that again?" he hissed breathing hard and looking her straight in the eye.

"Why? What you gonna do, Jack? Hit me?" she mocked him. "Come on then, do what you have to do! Be a man!" she said sarcastically.

"Shut up!" he hissed.

"No, I won't shut up! I'll keep talking till you mpfmpf…"

She was cut off as Jack, roughly, crushed his lips on her, backing her against the door. His hands went straight to grab the back of her head, buring them into her dark curles and bringing her even closer to him. Kate didn't respond imediately to the kiss, but didn't wait for too long either. Opening her mouth to him she felt his tongue entering and probing hers, making her go wild. She whimpered in pleasure making Jack lose it. Lowering his hands, he grabbed her by her waist and pulled her away from the door, without breaking the kiss. Kate's hands went straight to his face, holding him close and caressing lightly his cheeks and neck. His hands traveling up and down her back were making her tremble. It felt so right. So damn right, she thought.

After making out for what seemed like hours, but was really only 1 minute Jack started pushing her towards the bed. If it was any other guy in Jack's place Kate would have pulled away and slapped him across the face for suggesting something like that. But this was Jack. And every rational thought in her mind had dissapeared. In fact she couldn't think at all. All she knew was that she was gonna die if he stopped kissing her.

Kate fell onto the bed with Jack following her, without breaking the kiss. Their hands imediately started traveling all around each other bodies. Jack's hands were first carressing her hips, then her belly and then her thighs, making her wrap her legs around him. Jack too, was lost in her. She was so intoxicating he could barely breathe. He had never felt this way before but something told him that he was taking it too far. When he was ready to pull away from her and face the consequences of his actions he felt her hands traveling underneath his shirt, going up his stomach and then all the way around to his back. That's when he lost it.

Thrusting his tongue deeper into her awaiting mouth he heard her moan and arch into him. Grabbing the hem of her shirt he pulled it off of her while breaking the kiss. She looked at him for a brief moment and then hurried to get him out of his shirt. Once they were both shirtless they crushed their lips together once again and moaned as their bare skin collided.

Now their hands were on fire. The only sounds in the room were their heavy breathing and the occasional moans and whimpers coming out of their throats. Jack's mouth now was traling kisses along her neck, and was going lower and lower. He knew that he should have stopped a long time ago but the fact that Kate seemed to be enjoying it as much as he did made him forget about the consequenses.

He was now nibbling her breasts that were covered by her bra and she was obviously enjoying it as she moaned loudly and arched her back off the bed. His mouth was once again upon hers, gliding his tongue over her own and carressing the insides of her mouth. Her hands were traveling all around his back and stomach making him tremble. They were going lower and lower till she reached the button of his pants and undid it, glad he didn't object. She unziped his pants and felt him tense and kiss her harder. She pushed them further down his legs, encouraged by his soft moans and gasps and was about to take them off completely when a knock on the door made them pull away and look at each other in utter shock.

"Jack? Kate?" Margo's voice sounded.

It all happened at once. Kate jumped and put on her shirt while Jack fiddled with his buttons and went to look for his shirt. Where the hell was it?

Just as Margo opened the door Kate was all dressed up and Jack too with only one mistake. He was wearing his shirt the inside out. And Margo's eyes went straight there.

"Uh… i…. should…. I have to… Bye!" a really nervous Kate mumbled.

Jack looked at her but she didn't dare to look up. Once she was gone Margo looked at her son strangely.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

"We… we were… uh… we were fighting about something" he said trying to sound honest but failing completely.

"Right. So you took off your shirt to show her she's wrong?" she asked sarcastically laughing at her son's embarrasment.

"No… no… just… we didn't… I mean…" he tried to explain but couldn't quite place the words into a sentence.

"Dinner's ready" she told him with a smile and left a rather confused Jack standing stunned.


	9. Now nothing!

_A/N: Here you go… Late again but sooner than before… I would like to thank you all for the reviews, I was so glad to see that you liked it. __And I hope I won't disapoint you with the next chapters… Enjoy!_

Chapter 9

"Hello?"

"Hi Miss Austen. Can I speak with Kate?"

"Uuh… she's… she's not home yet. I sent her to do some shopping. You want me to tell her anything?" Diane told Shannon.

"Uuh… no thank you. Just tell her to call me when she gets back." Shannon replied.

"Ok hunnie, bye bye"

Once she had hung up the phone she turned and glared at her daughter who was sitting at the table.

"What the hell was that for?" she asked Kate trying to figure out what was going on.

"What?" Kate asked innocently.

"You know I hate lying so I expect you to tell me why you put me in this position" Daine said in a firm voice.

"I'm just not in the mood to talk right now" Kate said with a shrug and stood up to go to her room as soon as possible. She really didn't want to confront her mother about this. However Diane had other ideas.

"Katherine Austen sit back down right now!" she said in a steady and firm tone that was too hard to disobey.

Kate reluctanly sat down again, not daring to look her mother in the eye. She fumbled with her hands waiting for her mother's outburst.

"So? Are you gonna tell me what's wrong or do I have to guess?" Diane asked her daughter sitting too at the table, watching carefully her reaction.

Kate didn't answer. She just kept staring down, ashamed for bringing her mother into this.

"Ok then. I'll ask and you'll answer. Okay?"

"k" Kate said in a small voice, preparing herself for the worst.

"Did you do your homework?"

Kate's head snapped up. "Mom" she said in a warning tone.

"Sorry just kidding" Diane said with a smile. "But did you?"

"Yes mom, can we drop this?" Kate said with a sigh.

"Okay okay. Did you and Shannon have a fight?"

"No" Kate answered, staring back at the floor.

"Are you hiding something from her?"

She hesitated for a while but finally answered "Kinda"

"Is it about a boy?" Diane asked carefully. She rarely had a talk with her daughter about boys and that was because she trusted her daughter and was sure she would make the right choices. Another reason was that Kate always reminded her that she had more important things to think than boys-problems. She believed that the right guy would find her at the right time. So she wouldn't worry till that happened. Diane was really proud of her daughter's percpective of the matter and that was why she respected her wish to not talk about such kind of stuff.

But now was different. She remembered the days Kate dated Tom and realized that what she felt for him then, was nothing compared to what she was feeling right now for someone Diane didn't know about. Watching her daughter's behaviour the last few days was something new for Diane. And that was because Kate had never really fallen in love before. And she was definitely in love now. The question was with whom?

Kate was thinking hard what to answer to her mother but Diane beat her to it.

"Ok it's about a boy, we got that clear." Diane said with a smile as she saw the confusion in Kate's eyes.

They were silent for a while until Diane decided to speak.

"Do you like Shannon's boyfriend?"

"What? No!" Kate yelled.

"Is it someone whom Shannon likes too?" Diane continued.

"No mom! That's not it! For God's sake!" an exasperated Kate said.

"Then what is it hunnie? Cause you got me confused. If it's just a boy you like then I don't see what the problem is" Diane said in a calm voice.

"The problem is that we're friends mom!" Kate finally said, not mentioning his name.

Diane thought about it for a minute and then spoke.

"So?"

Kate looked at her inridiculously.

"So it's gonna end up badly. Our friendship will be destroyed and we'll end up hating each other and wishing we never got together!" Kate said baring her soul to her mother.

"Hunnie, you watch way too many movies" Diane said with a smile causing Kate to get furious at her.

"It's not funny mom!" Kate snapped. " These last days I have been tortured by the thought of losing him! I need him in my life so badly that my heart hurts when I think myself without him! I can't just go and tell him I'm in love with him and expect everything to be perfect! I'll just ruin our relationship and it means too much for me to risk losing it!"

Diane was silent watching her daughter's outburst. She finally admited she was in love and that was a good thing. However she was really troubled as to what to do about her feelings and Diane felt sorry for her.

"Kate, baby, listen to me." Diane said going over to her daughter and taking her in her arms trying to calm her down.

"Being in love is a very very very hard thing. Whatever you do you won't avoid getting hurt or hurting other people's feelings. It's just how it is hunnie. But that doesn't mean you have to stop loving and being loved because that would be just dumb. "

Kate was silent, enveloped by her mother's arms, listening to her carefully.

"Now, as for the friendship you think you'll destroy, you're wrong. If you really are friends then nothing will tear you apart no matter what happens between you and him. The only think that could drive you apart is lying to him about your feelings." Diane said to her.

Kate slowly pulled herself together and looked at her mother with teary eyes.

"So what do you think I should do?" Kate asked her sniffing a little.

"I think you need to think first what you want, and then tell Jack how you feel about him" Diane said slowly.

"But I don't even know if…" she trailed off realizing what her mother had just said. She looked at her and was stunned when she saw her smiling.

"How did you…?" she started but was cut off by Diane.

"I'm your mother, remember?" Diane said smiling to her daughter and stood up.

"I'm going to Jane for a cup of coffe. Provided that you have done your homework you can go out. I suggest you went to Jack and cleared this thing up." kissing her daughter goodbye she left.

Meanwhile Jack was being bombared by Claire's questions over the phone.

"Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not lying to you Claire. Nothing happened. Now can we drop this?" Jack said swearing himself for lying to Claire about Kate. The thing was that he wasn't ready to tell anyone about his little encounter with Kate. He was not only embarrassed but didn't know what to make out of it as well. All he knew was that he couldn't get the image of Kate out of his mind. But that was not the problem. He was used to thinking of her now. The problem was he kept thinking of her shirtless, or her touching him like in their earlier encounter, or imagining what could have happened if his mother hadn't interrupted them. What if…

Snap out of it, Jack thought.

"Jack? Are you there? JACK?" she screamed losing her patience.

"Jesus! I'm here! Stop yelling!" he swore rubbibg his ear.

"Good. So you ready to tell me what really happened?" she asked.

"Claire I'm gonna say it for the last time. She came here to give me a book she thought was mine, we realized it wasn't and then she left. Nothing more, nothing less." he said with a sigh, praying to God to make Claire believe what he was saying.

"Cut the crap, lover boy. I know when you're lying, especially when the lying happens because of a girl. I know you too damn well to buy this shit you're telling me." Claire said.

"Lover boy?" he laughed. "Claire, have you been drinking?" he asked her still smiling at the nickname.

"No, Jacky boy. I'm very well, thank you. But if you keep lying to me I won't be. So spill it." she said in a firm voice that reminded him of his mother.

"Have I ever told you that you sometimes sound just like my mother?" Jack asked her, even though he was sure he mentioned it to her at least twice a week.

"Yes Jacko, you keep telling me that." she said with a sigh.

"What's with the nicknames, today?" he said laughing.

"You piss me off, that is. I can't believe after all we've been through you don't want to tell me what happened with Kate. What? You don't rust me any more?" she asked.

Jack felt guilty imeddiately. She was right. She had been there for him from the beginning. She had helped him through some very difficult situations and now here he was lying to her for something he couldn't comprehend.

"Claire…" he started but was cut off.

"Don't bother" she said and hung up.

"Damn it" he said to himself.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. His mother wasn't home so he had to get that. So he reluctanly, got up and went down to answer it. Opening the door, he revealed a very nervous and embarrassed Kate taking him by surprise.

"Kate?" he said as if to make sure she was there.

"Jack" she said, her voice trembling.

They stared at each other for 2 whole minutes, without saying a thing, when Jack remembered his manners and invited her in. They went to his bedroom silently, both lost in their thoughts. When they got inside they both sat on his bed, staring at the floor not daring to look at each other's eyes.

They were silent for a while until Kate couldn't stand it any more.

"Look Jack, i….. i….. " she trailed off not knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry" Jack said interrupting her.

"For what?" she asked quickly looking straight at him.

"For… for… you know what for." he said while he blushed and averted his eyes from hers.

"Oh" was her answer.

Was that disapointment in her voice? Jack thought.

"I don't… I don't know what got into me… I just… I'm sorry." he said or better he tried to say.

"Don't. Don't be sorry. I did kiss you back and if I remember correctly I've kissed you before." she said in a small voice not looking at him.

"Yeah" he whispered.

"And we're friends, right?" she told him now looking at him.

"Yeah" he whispered again, looking back at her.

"Best friends" she corrected, realizing now just how close they were. They were inches apart and she could feel his breath on her face making her have goosebumps all over her body.

"Yup" he said, his eyes traveling to her lips and back up.

"And we wouldn't want to ruin that, right?" she whispered, going closer to him.

"No" he said, now looking only at her lips, not being able to avert his eyes from there.

They stayed that way for a while, breathing heavily, both too afraid to make the first move. And when Jack was about to pull away and apologize once again, Kate spoke making him change his mind.

"But… it wouldn't hurt… if we… if we just mpfmpf…"

She was cut off by one Jack Sheppard, as he forcefully crashed his lips upon hers making her gasp. His hand went up to the back of her neck tilting her head to the side so that he could have a better angle to kiss her. His tongue didn't waste any time and explored her mouth fully making her moan and whimper in pleasure.

They slowly fell back onto the bed, him on top of her. Her hands traveled up and down his back and then inside his shirt. She dragged her nails on his back making him groan and kiss her harder. She was beginning to take his shirt off when he suddenly pulled away from her and sat up.

Breathing hard, Jack, put his face in his hands, trying to figure all this out.

Kate was left stunned and panting as well. She sat up slowly, fixing her slightly discarded shirt and said with a trembling voice

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"No Kate, listen to me." he cut her off.

"We shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be doing this, I really don't know what's wrong with me and I wish I could figure it out" he said, partly lying cause he did know that he was very much in love with a certain brunette sitting next to him. But she didn't have to know.

"I don't know either" she lied too. "I just can't help it" she whispered, blushing furiously.

They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes till Kate spoke.

"Maybe it's just physical" she tried to explain and continued when she saw the confused look on Jack's face. "I mean physical attraction. Maybe we're just attracted to each other even though we're friends" she said.

"Yeah I think you're right." he replied.

They were both lying of course. They knew they were in love with each other but they feared of being rejected. Each one thought that the other was only physically attracted to the other and it was killing them.

"So what now?" Kate asked.

"Now… now nothing"


	10. OhMyGod!

A/N:Hey guys! I'm really really really really sorry and I bet you are sick of my apologizing so I'm gonna shut up now. I've turned this ship in M-rated cause I don't want to get in any trouble. So read, enjoy and review…

Chapter 10

-_What do you think happened?_

_-I have no idea. But something tells me that they're lying to us._

_-Kate wouldn't lie to me._

_-Neither would Jack. But this is love we're talking about. Nothing is the way it's supposed to be._

_-Still if something happened Kate would at least show some signs. Now she acts completely normal and THAT is not normal._

_-That's the problem. They both act like nothing has happened the last few days. _

Shannon and Claire were sitting together in Mr. Artz's class. They had asked from their partners, Claire from Jack and Shannon from Kate, if they could sit together cause they had some girly talk about make up. Of course it was a lie but it was the only way for them not to realize that Shannon and Claire were hiding something from them. So here they were now, sliping notes and expressing how worried they were about the current situation between Jack and Kate.

-_What bugs me the most is the fact that they seem so happy and cheerful that I wanna throw up. They have to be pretending or else I'm a zombie._

_-They are so pretending. But the question is what they did to result in their strange behaviour. I just can't figure them out. _

_-What did Jack tell__ you about the meeting with Kate?_

_-He sai__d that nothing happened. She went there, showed him the book, realized it wasn't his and she was gone. But something's not right._

_-I know. And I'll tell you why, my dearest Claire. If they weren't hiding something from us then Kate would have killed me. You see she must have realized that the book I gave her was mine when she ckecked it in Jack's place. And hell would freeze before Kate left me off the hook. She would definitely get mad at me for trying to fix her up with Jack and probably wouldn't talk to me for at least a week. I know because it has happened before and it was not good. _

_-So what did she tell you?_

_-Exactly what Jack told you. _

_-Damn it. We'll have to ask Sayid too._

_-Can I do that?_

_-No it's okay. I'll do it._

_-No no I will._

_-Shan?_

_-Okay I like him. _

_-But I thought you were going out with that Ben guy…_

_-I was but… Sayid is… I don't know how to put it in words…_

_-Hot?_

_YES!!!_

It was lunch time at Raven highschoole wich usually was Kate's worst time of the day. She hated having to eat in front of all the other students, having mock her even for the way she chewed her food. She didn't take it personal anymore cause she had realized that she wasn't the only one getting critisized. Apparently it was the latest fashion in high-schools.

But today was different. Today she had a reason to look forward the lunch time and that reason was Jack. Yesterday, after their second in a row encounter Jack and Kate had decided that they wouldn't do anything about their situation. They would keep being friends but with some sort of… benefits. Kate had heard this term "friends with benefits" before but didn't really understand the meaning of it.

So far she liked it though. It seemed like they were just like before but better. They talked and laughed but also teased each other causing both of them to blush more than normal. They hadn't talked about their latest encounters but anyone could see the longing and want in each others eyes. But they were too blind to realize it themselves.

They had also agreed that they wouldn't tell anything to either Claire or Shannon. They wanted to clear this thing out first and then announce it to their friends. But they were sure that their current behaviour towards each other was not going to help them keep it a secret. However they didn't seem to care, as long as they had time for themselves.

Claire, Shannon, Boone, Charlie, Sayid, Jack and Kate were sitting at the same table. Claire and Shannon were sitting close whispering to each other's ears and stealing glances from Jack and Kate. They, on the other hand, were completely oblivious of this. They were eating slowly their food but still took a glimpse of each other and smile. Kate was constantly blushing and Jack was grinning like an idiot. These signs were hard to miss by Claire and Shannon, even though they decided not to express their suspicions.

Sayid was lost in his world or better in his Shannon world. He was staring at her with a dreaming look on his face that did not go unnotice by Charlie and Boone who both laughed at their friend's obvious crush.

Suddenly Jack stood up and announced he was going to the bathroom. He turned to leave but not before he cast Kate a meaningful glance, communicating with her through silence. Kate seemed to have gotten the signal cause after a while of his absence she claimed too that she wanted to go to the bathroom. No one payed attention to her except for Claire and Shannon who watched her suspiciously move towards the ladies' room.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Claire asked Shannon still looking at the place where Kate had gone.

"Totally" Shannon replied.

Meanwhile…

Jack was waiting impatiently for her to show up. What if she didn't get the signal? What if she didn't want to come? What if she decided that this whole friendship wih benefits couldn't work out for her?

But all his fears were vanished as soon as he saw her approaching the bathroom. She looked a little uncertain and seemed to be looking for him. Surprising her, he grabbed her arm, and pushed her against the wall, in a dark corner where it was very unlikly they would be seen.

"Jack" she gasped but didn't have time to continue as a certain Jack Sheppard's lips were upon hers immediately. She didn't complain though.

Pushing against her, he wrapped his arms around her, deepening their kiss. Once he made certain she wasn't going to object he pushed his tongue inside her mouth sighing in pleasure, as it was what he was longing to do since he saw her walk through the school gates.

She responded eagerly to the kiss, caressing his tongue with her own, moaning and whimpering at the extreme pleasure she was feeling. She tightened her hold on him, wrapping her arms around his neck bringing him even closer. It seemed like she couldn't get enough of him.

With his mouth still on hers he decided to go a little further. His hands started traveling up and down her back causing the hair at the back of her neck to stir. Taking her moans of satifaction as a good sign he continued with his investigation. Having explored and touched all of her back he went to the front first touching her stomach and then going upwards. Finally reaching her breasts and waiting to be slapped across the face for taking too far, he was surprised to feel Kate arch her back to him and moan loudly against his mouth.

Needing no more encouragement he began folding and kneeding her breasts realizing that she was so intoxicating he would find it really hard to stop. He continued this for a while until he decided he wanted more. So he pushed his hands inside her shirt making her gasp but in pleasure nontheless. Going up to her breasts once again he could litelaly feel her hot skin under his palm.

Finally realizing that if he didn't stop he would take her right there against the wall, he reluctanly tore his mouth from hers and withdrew his hands from under her shirt. Smiling at the sound of diaspproval she made he kissed her again but sweetly and slowly this time trying in vain to control his sudden passion and want for her. In other words his errection.

He rested his forehead against her own and looked deeply into her eyes. They were both breathing fast and growing even hotter by the minute.

"Kate" he panted dropping his head against the wall trying desperately to control himself and catch his breath.

"Jack" she said a little sarcastically, smiling and rubbing his back driving him crazy.

"What are you doing to me?" he whispered not really asking her but expressing in a way his feelings and longing for her.

She just giggled at him and put her mouth on his ear kissing and licking it. He moaned and tried to pull himself away from her but she just grabbed him harder and went to nibble his neck making all his logic thoughts vanish. She continued the softly teasing for a while untill she grew bolder and slipped her hands underneath his shirt feeling him gasp and shudder at her touch.

'Where the hell did she learn such things?' he thought as he tried once again to pull her away from him in fear of letting things get too far and eventually getting caught. He didn't care about his reputation and all that crap but he knew that Kate wouldn't be too fond of getting caught while being ravished by a certain Jack Sheppard. Besides he couldn't go that far with her without knowing that they were in an actual relationship and not just some friendship with benefits.

When he came up with that solution, the friendship with benefits, it appeared to him as the only way to stay close to Kate. Because telling her how he really felt would definitely scare her and drive her away. And that was something he wouldn't be able to stand.

Also, they couldn't stay just friends after their latest encounters. It would be too akward. So this was what appealed to him better. He wasn't quite satisfied by their current situation but it was the best he could get. At least that's what he thought.

As for the sex thing, he was sure as hell he wouldn't go that far. He guessed that she had lost her virginity with Tom but he hadn't asked her. It was way too painful to even think about it, let alone hear her saying it to him.

But even if she did have experience he didn't want their first time to be like this. Friends but not friends. It didn't seem right. He wanted to make for her all that romantic stuff people do when they're in love but in this case he thought he was the only one in love. So he backed off.

"Kate" he said in a firm whisper wanting her to realize the importance of the situation.

"What's wrong?" she asked getting scared immediately of being rejected.

"We've got to stop cause I won't be able to hold back any longer" he said in a pleading tone.

"But I don't want you to hold back" she said smiling in a tiny voice.

"Kate look where we are" he said

Finally she seemed to realize the place they were, which was too dangerous for them to act like that.

"Oh" she said, blushing furiously and trying to fix her shirt that had been slightly discarded.

He smiled at her uneasiness, finding her cute and adorable at the same time.

He put his hand on her cheek and made her look at him.

"Hey. Don't worry. No one saw us" he said still smiling.

She looked deep in thought for a minute and then looked at him sincerely.

"Jack what is going on with us?" she asked him.

"I don't know Kate" he sighed and withdrew his hand from her cheek. The only think I know is that I love you, he thought but didn't dare to say it out loud.

They looked at each other for a while till Kate decided to talk.

"We should probably head back" she said reluctanly. "They must be looking for us"

"Yeah" he said without moving.

They kept staring at each other with uncertainty when Jack spoke.

"Do you…?" he cleared his throat nervously "Do you want to come to my place after school?" he asked anxiously.

She started to argue with him, after everything that had happened with his mom and everything but he beat her to it.

"My mom will be gone till late at night and dad probably won't come at all" he said quickly so as to vanish all of her worries.

"Okay" she smiled.

Both, grinning like idiots they made their way back to their table. They were too happy and lost in their worlds to see Claire and Shannon standing just behind the corner and looking at them shocked.

Once Jack and Kate went to the bathroom together they realized that something was not right. So they went to investigate. But they hadn't been prepared to see what they did when they reached the bathrooms. At first they couldn't see anyone but then they heard soft moans and whimpers. So they followed the sounds and they couldn't believe what they had seen.

After the first shock they just sat quietly in their positions waiting for them to leave. Once the place was clear Shannon yelled

OH.MY.GOD!!!

So here's the thing… I'm planning on writing some jex but I don't know if I should make it graphic or not graphic… I haven't written any smut before and I don't know if I'll be good at it so I'm leaving it on you. Please tell me what you want so that I'll be able to please you all…


	11. And that's that!

Chapter 11

"What took you so long?" was the first thing that Sayid asked Jack and Kate when they came back from the bathroom. He saw the girls, Shannon and Claire whispering to each other and then going towards the bathroom as well. So he suspected something must have happened.

"We saw Sun and we kinda lost track of time." Kate lied through her teeth making Jack smile at her. She blushed and quickly sat down at her seat.

"Where is Claire? And Shannon?" Jack asked as he realized that there was a peculiar silence at the table. When Shannon and Claire were at the same table no one could prevent them from talking extremelly loud and without stop. So the sudden silence indicated that they had gone somewhere.

"Uh… I think… I think they… There they are!" exclaimed Sayid, relieved that he hadn't had to lie for them.

Shannon and Claire reached the table in a completely serious manner. They didn't talk or smile or even look at them. They packed their bags, took the rest of their food and started heading towards another empty table.

"Hey" Jack said waving his hands in front of them as if to show them that he was there. By the way they were acting, it seemed like they didn't see them. Like they were invisible.

"Shan?" Kate asked clearly confused about her friend's behaviour.

But they didn't say a thing. They turned their backs at them and went to sit at the other table leaving their friends stunned and buffled by their behaviour.

"What the hell?" Jack asked looking at his friends, Sayid, Charlie and Boone, searching for the reason that Shannon and Claire were acting this way.

Sayid stood up and went to their table to investigate. He bent over them and said something to them. They whispered something to him and then continued eating their food. Sayid came back to the other's table completely confused.

"They said that they are not talking to you two" he said pointing at Kate and Jack.

"What? Why?" Kate asked

"They didn't say" Sayid answered. "But they looked really pissed off."

Jack and Kate turned to look at each other completely unaware of the reason their friends were mad at them. They started to head towards their table to find out what had happened but Sayid stopped them immediately.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you" he warned in a firm voice. "They seem really really really I mean really mad"

"Well I'm all in for apologizing to them but I don't know what the hell we did to them!" Jack exclaimed exasperated.

"Well I'd say leave it for now and you can talk to them when they have calmed now" Sayid suggested.

"Is it so bad?" Kate asked in a worried tone.

"Well… remember the Ana-Lucia incident?" Sayid asked and Kate winced.

"Yeah" she said carefully.

"Much worse" Sayid said while Charlie whistled.

At that precise moment the bell rang so they had to go back to their classes. Shannon and Claire stood up, took their bags and left without looking at them whatsoever. Jack shook his head not really understanding the whole thing and headed for his class, followed by the others.

After school…

"I don't get it. I really don't!" Kate sighed while sitting on Jack's bed.

When they were dismissed Kate took upon Jack's offer and decided that going to Jack's place wouldn't be such a bad idea. Besides she couldn't really deny him anything so it would be pointless to even try to.

"Me neither. But I won't bother unless they come to talk to us. We didn't do anything to them so as far as I'm concerned we have nothing to apologize for." Jack said firmly.

"Well, we do lie to them" Kate said in a small voice.

"Yeah but they don't know it so I don't really get why we should apologize to them without even knowing what we did to upset them in the first place." Jack sighed and sat next to Kate.

They were silent for a while, each lost in their thoughts.

"Do you wast something to drink?" Jack asked suddenly in a gentle voice, making Kate look at him.

"No, thanks" she replied smiling at him.

"Something to eat?" Jack pressed wanting to make her as comfortable as possible.

"No Jack, I'm fine" Kate chuckled at his worried tone.

"Okay then" Jack said and watched as she licked her lips in a way that made him go weak in the knees. He reached at her and grabbing gentle but firmly her neck he took her lips in his mouth, silencing her gasp of surprise.

Slowly and steadily the kiss progressed. He tore her lips open with his tongue and explored her mouth eliciting a low moan out of her. He continued the slow movements of his mouth while he started caressing her back and arms. She didn't waste any time, and by the time she was bold enough, she inserted her hands inside his shirt and started travelling them up and down his stomach and torso.

He groaned and fell down on the bed with her following on top of him. They didn't stop kissing but instead they intestified the movement of their tongues as they deepened the kiss. The only sounds that could be heard in the room were their soft moans and whimpers coming out of their mouths.

Jack's hands started travelling inside Kate's shirt, playing with the clasp of her bra. Before he could procceed Kate lifted herself off of him making Jack worry that he had gone too far.

"I'm sorry.. I didn't…" he started in a frantic voice but he stopped abrubtly when he saw Kate taking off her shirt, as quickly as possible and hovering over him once again. Smiling at how cute he looked when he started to apologize she kissed him hard and full on the mouth.

Letting out a growl he grabbed her by the waist and kissed her back with the same force and passion that she did. Neither of them understood how it was possible that two best friends like them could want each other that badly. It was inexplicable but urgent at the same time.

Wasting no time, Kate grabbed the hem of Jack's shirt and quickly pulled it over his head leaving him shirtless much to Kate's pleasure. Running her hands over his slightly hair-covered chest she bent down and started nibbling at his neck going lower and lower.

He gasped and moaned at the pleasurable sensation and once again thought that she was extremelly good at this. Feeling her lips working now on his andomen he wasn't really capable of thinking straight but once she reached his pants and started unbuttoning them he realized that this was getting way out of hand.

"Kate.. wait wait wait" he said lifting her up and quickly buttoning his pants.

"What? Did I hurt you?" a completely worried Kate asked him making chuckle at her innosence.

"No no you didn't. It's just that… we kinda… we really need to talk before we… before we do… before we do whatever it is we're doing." he said blushing furiously at his stupidiness.

Kate just smiled and went to work on his neck.

"Well" she said while nibbling at his neck "I thought we were done talking"

Jack had to make a great effort to stop her cause all his body was screaming not to. But he knew that they couldn't keep doing this. Not like this.

"Kate stop" he said lifting her head up and making her look at him.

"I thought… I thought we had decided to keep this thing between us as friends with benefits" she said in a small voice.

"I know but… I can't see you like that Kate"

The moment he said it he regretted it immediately.

Tears started forming in Kate's eyes and her lower lip began trembling.

"No no no Kate I didn't…" he started wanting nothing more than to take it back but she was already up dressing up, too embarassed to look up at him.

"I'm sorry I was such a fool to believe that…" she said but couldn't continue as tears started streaming down her face and sobs overtook her body.

"Kate please I didn't mean it like that I just wanted to…"

But he didn't manage to explain to her cause she had already taken off running.

"Fuck!!!" Jack yelled to himself as he hit the door with all his strength.

What he really wanted to tell her was that he couldn't see her ONLY as a friend with benefits. He wanted more. He wanted all of her. Not just some stupid hook-ups and one night stands. He was in love with her and he finally got the courage to tell her. But instead he screwed up even the little he had with her. "Well done Jack" he thought as he sank to his bed and burried his face in the pillow letting the tears of frustration pour down his face.

Tears continued to stream down her face as she ran back to her home. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid to believe that the Great Jack Shepard would take an interest in her. He was the God of school for God's sake. How the hell did she let herself believe that it could actually happen?

Finally she reached her home and she immediately spotted someone sitting on the doorstep.

"Sawyer?" she said surprised.

"Hey" he said quickly standing up." I'm here for our date. I knocked but nobody answered so I figured I should wait for a while in case you showed up" he said in a hurried tone, clearly embarassed.

"Oh my God! I completely forgot about it! I'm so sorry" she apologized to him while opening the door. " Come in" she said.

He entered and looked around for a moment and then added " Nice place you have here"

"Thanks" she smiled " Let's go upstairs" she said.

Once they were in her room he sat down on her bed and looked at her.

"I'm sorry I forgot. I just had to…" she trailed off remembering the previous events with Jack.

"It's okay Freckles. You're worth the waiting" he said cheeckily showing her the best of his smiles.

She laughed at his obvious attempt to impress her but suddenly her laugh turned into a sob. And the tears once again started falling from her eyes.

"Hey" Sawyer said standing up and pulling her to his chest.

"I'm sorry" she said between her sobs "I just had a rough day" she said while soaking his shirt with her tears.

"It's okay" he said and pulled her with him towards her bed. He layed down and pulled her to him trying to calm her down. After a while she cried herself to sleep and Sawer was left watching over her.

"Kate? Kate wake up! Kate!" Sawyer tried to wake her up.

She finally opened her eyes and looked at him. Apparently she had fallen asleep while crying in his arms. 'God, can this day become any more embarassing?' she thought to herself.

"Someone's on the door." he said and that's when she heard the bangs on the door.

"Oh" she said and went downstairs immediatelly, with Sawyer right behind her.

Opening the door she revealed a furious Shannon and an even more furious Claire.

"You out!" Shannon ordered pointing at Sawyer.

"What the…" Kate began but was interrupted.

"YOU SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Shannon yelled pointing at Kate not leaving any room for argument.

They all complied to the orders given, and now Kate was sitting on the sofa in the living-room with Claire and Shannon sitting right opposite to her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Claire asked exasperated.

"With me? What the hell is wrong with YOU?" Kate demanded not really understanding what was going on.

"WE are fine. YOU have lost your mind!" Shannon yelled.

"Would you care to explain to me what is going on here cause I'm totally lost?" Kate yelled back.

"Sure thing." Shannon said. "Would you care to explain to us what the hell you were doing sleeping with Sawyer?"

Silence.

"What?" Kate asked completely baffled.

"You heard me" Shannon said.

"Okay. First, I did't sleep, like have sex with Sawyer. Second how the hell do you know?" Kate asked

"He saw you" Claire said in a sad tone.

"What? Who?"

"Jack" Claire told her.

Kate was silent for a minute, trying to digest all of the information and suddenly spoke.

"And what is his problem anyway?" she said. Not too long ago he told her that he couldn't see her in that way and now all of a sudden he was jealous of Sawyer? She was a free woman for the love of God. She could do whatever she wanted with whomever she wanted.

"Cut the crap Kate! We saw you at school. Kissing and screwing against the wall!" Claire said exasperated.

"Not exactly screwing" Shannon corrected getting a glare from Claire.

"So what?" Kate said. "It's not like we're together!" she said trying to hold back the tears that were starting to fall.

"Yeah he told us all about this friendship with benefits thing" Shannon said.

"Did he also tell you that he can't see me in "that" way?" she said having enough of it and finally letting the tears fall.

"Yes Kate but you didn't let him explain…" Claire started but got interrupted.

"Explain me what, Claire? That I'm not good enough for him? That Jack Shepard is too good for a white trash from Iowa like Kate Austen?" Kate yelled while sobbing hysterically. "To explain what?" she screamed.

"That he's in love with you" Claire said in a whisper but still Kate heard it.

"How can he possibly be in l…" Kate started to object but Claire didn't let her.

"He loves you Kate. He's been in love with you since the day you hugged him in the sixth grade for standing up for you in front of the teacher. He's being in love with you for more than 6 years, Kate." Claire explained sadly, remembering all the times Jack had come to her asking to make it go away, help him get over her but he never succeeded.

Kate was left stunned and unable to talk. Gathering her sttrengths she finally spoke

"Why didn't he say anything?" she whispered.

"Because he was scared Kate." Shannon said watching as her friend was about to break down. Again.

"Today, all he wanted to say was that he didn't want you to be that girl, the friend with benefits for him, because he wanted more. He was gonna tell you everything we're telling you now and he was gonna ask you to be his girlfriend." Claire said feeling really bad for them.

"Corny but cute" Shannon added getting another glare from Claire.

"How did he…? How did he…" Kate tried to ask but her light sobs didn't let her finish.

"From the tree. The one he used to climb into your room when you were grounded." Claire explained

Kate gulped and burried her face in her hands wanting to die right there and then. He loved her. He loved her and she just broke his heart.

"Sweetie?" Shannon said gently moving her hands away from her face. "It's okay"

"No, it's not" she whispered.

"Then go to him and straighten this thing out" Shannon said.

Kate looked at her and for once in her life decided to do what it was in her heart.

"Okay" she said and quickly went to pick up her keys and left, leaving Claire and Shannon praying to God to make this all right.

She reached his place in record time and knocked several times at the door but no one answered. She figured he didn't want anyone to see him so she decided to take matters in her own hands.

She went at the back of his house, walking through the Shepards' garden, where his room's window was. She imeddiatelly spotted him sitting on his bed looking at nothing, having a sad look on his face.

"Jack!" she yelled making him jump in a way that normally would make her laugh and tease him. But now was not the time.

He turned to look at her surprised and then a look of hurt took over his face. He didn't say anything just looked at her, until she decided to speak.

"I'm sorry" she said in a low voice but loud enough for him to hear it. "I didn't mean to…"

"Save it, Kate" he said in an angry tone, shaking his head. "Just go home"

"No Jack I won't till you listen to me!" she yelled.

"I'm done listening to you Kate!" he yelled back at her. "I'm sick of feeling like this, I'm sick of everything I'M SICK OF YOU!!!" he screamed both angry and hurt.

"Jack please…" she begged him with tears falling down her face. "Nothing happened between me and Sawyer, I swear! I just…"

"I don't care anymore Kate! I just.. I'm done with this" he said pointing them, and turning his back to her.

"Jack" she said now sobbing slightly."I'm so sorry. I love you Jack please…" she pleaded with him.

"He could hear her sobs and pleads but he was too hurt to feel sorry for her. Too hurt to feel anything than anger for her. Too hurt to forgive her.

So he just closed the window.

_**A/N:Ahhh Jangst… Please don't hate me for it, I promise it'll get better!**_

_**And as for the smut, the majority of you decided no graphic sex so I'll stick with it. And to tell you the truth I wasn't really comfortable about it either… I'm all in for reading it but writing it is another issue… I guess I'm too shy…:-) Anyway I'm gonna apologize once again for the delay but I have my school exams now so it's really hard to find the time to write. I'll try my best to update sooner next time…**_


	12. A little sunshine!

Chapter 12

"Jack? Jack! Jack wake up! You're gonna be late! Jack!"

Jack could hear his mother trying to wake him up. He was already awake before she even came in the room. Truth be told, he hadn't slept at all all night long. He just couldn't.

A lot had happened the previous day and he couldn't stop thinking about it. He cursed himself for doing so but that didn't help either. He had promised himself he would let this thing go. Kate, Sawyer, Kate and Sawyer. But damned, he couldn't get the image of her with him out of his head. The way she was curled next to him made his heart ache every time he remembered the events of the previous day.

After she had left, after her tearful apology, he had tried to occupy himself with anything. Anything that could take his mind off of her. But everything reminded him of her. Even in his room, most of the things either belonged to Kate or she had given them to him. So he decided that if he was to rip her off his heart he might as well start with the things that were attached to her.

He ripped the posters of Shinedown off the wall, threw her Cds in the rubbish bin as well as every single photo of her and finally threw off the window that glassy colorful butterfly he was planning on giving her on her birthday a month from now.

He had been searching and searching for the perfect gift but he couldn't find it. So one day, while they were taking a walk along the shops she saw a really beautiful glassy ornamental butterfly at the size of a big basket ball. She immediately fell in love with it. She approached the shop window and stared at it for at least ten minutes until Jack reminded her that they had to go back.

She looked at it one last time and that's when she saw the price. It was way too expensive for her or her mother. She tried to hide her disappointment from Jack but he could see through her. He knew that she didn't feel comfortable about her family's finances so he didn't push the subject. They left and never talked about it again.

But Jack had already made his mind. That beautiful butterfly was gonna be Kate's next present. He knew it would be it the moment he saw the spark in her eyes.

But now that beautiful butterfly was shuttered in pieces at the back of his garden, just like his heart.

However the thought of Kate still lingered in his mind. Torturous, painful and addictive at the same time.

"JACK!!!"

"I'm awake!" Jack yelled back at his mother who was now hovering over him and shaking him frantically.

"Then why don't you act like it?" Margot asked sarcastically.

"Because I don't wanna go to school" Jack said hoping that for once his mother would let him do what he wanted.

"Well I don't wanna cook either but you wouldn't like that now, would you?" Margot said smiling at her son.

"Come on mom! It's not like I'm gonna miss anything important!" Jack whined while pouting at his mother.

"Quit the pouting. It's not gonna work mister" Margot said patting lightly his head.

"Just one day! Pleaseeeeeeeeee…" he begged doing his best puppy dog eyes.

Margot sighed realizing she was in for a battle and sat down on his bed.

"What's wrong Jack?" Margot asked gently not wanting to upset him.

"Nothing" Jack answered sharply, avoiding eye contact with his mother.

"Jack if you want me to let you stay and not go to school you're gonna have to tell me why" Margot coaxed him.

He sighed and quickly thought for an answer.

"I…. We're having a test today…. and… uh… and I'm not that prepared for… you know" he muttered, trying to be as truthful as possible. "And I really don't want to fail" he added with confidence.

"Jack Shepard, I'll be damned before I buy this crap you're giving me!" his mother said in a firm voice.

"But mom…" he whined but didn't get to finish.

"Nope. You either gonna tell me the truth or gonna get ready for school. It's your choice" Margot said.

"It's nothing. Really. I just… I'm bored. There. You happy?" he said with a sigh acting offended by his mother's disbelief.

"Is it about the boys? Did you have a fight?" Margot continued.

"No mom, I'm telling you nothing happened" Jack answered.

Margot ignored him "Is it about that blond chick? Juliet?"

"No it's not about her. And don't use the word chick. It's weird" he said making a disgusted face.

She laughed at this.

"And what's wrong with your room? It seems… empty." she said noticing for the first time how empty his room appeared. As far as she remembered his room was utterly cluttered and full of things of no use.She looked at his walls and saw that all of his wallpapers were gone. But what certainly drew her attention was that Kate's photos were nowhere in sight. And that was something to wonder about.

"I just felt like redecorating" he said avoiding eye contact once again. He really didn't want his mom to find out about Kate. He didn't want anyone to find out about Kate. That's why he had kept his feelings for her a secret. He knew it wouldn't end up well and he really didn't want to see his friends all supportive and comforting. He knew that they would pity him and he hated it.

"Yeah… I can see that" Margot said thoughtfully while taking a look at his rubbish bin and seeing Kate's photos.

"So?" Jack asked anxiously. He really didn't want to go to school cause he would definitely have to deal with Kate. And he couldn't stand that, not now. He would either tell her things that would certainly hurt her and make him regret telling them, or he would start weeping like a sissy. And he didn't want either of them.

:So what?" Margot asked innocently.

"Can I stay? Just this once?" Jack asked hopefully.

Margot ignored him. "It's about Kate, isn't it?" she asked gently.

He gulped.

"Not everything is about Kate mom" Jack snapped at his mother.

"But I think this is, son" Margo said ignoring his rude tone and deciding to deal with it later.

When he didn't answer she continued " Hun, I don't know what happened between the two of you but you're not gonna make it better by running away"

"Mom, nothing happened. I told you I'm just bored. I have never missed class since I was 7 years old. Is it so hard for you to just give me a break here? Dad wants me to become a great spinal surgeon but how the hell am I gonna do that if I'm sick of studying at my seventeen? You and dad are always pushing me and I'm sick of it!" he bit out more angrily than he intended too.

"You know Jack, I know you're having a hard time with Kate right now but I will not allow you to put the blame on me and your dad!" Margo scolded.

He didn't answer. He knew he had gone too far but he suddenly didn't care. All he wanted was to be left alone.

"And yes, you can skip school today, not because I'm good and I'm doing you a favor but because you're grounded!" Margo said in firm and loud voice while standing up to leave the room.

"What am i… like twelve? I'm seventeen years old mom!" Jack said exasperated.

"Well then start acting like it! All I see from you is denial and stubborness. It's hard for me to see you like an adult when you're acting like a ten-year-old boy with a crush!"

"How many times do I have to tell you? It's not about Kate!" he said.

"Keep telling yourself that" Margo said and left the room.

"Unbelievable" Jack said to himself.

* * *

"What happened, Kate?" 

"I don't really want to talk about it." Kate said

"Come on Kate. You have to talk to someone about this. You can't keep it to yourself. I promise you'll feel better once you'll have put it out there." Shannon coaxed her, sadly watching her friend being tortured by the thought of a certain Jack Shepard.

"Shannon if you want to help me just leave me the hell alone" Kate snapped at her friend, not in the mood to play 20 questions.

"Did he talk to you?" Shannon continued deciding to ignore her tone. After what she'd been through she deserved that much, Shannon thought.

"More like he yelled at me" Kate said as a matter of fact.

They were now walking through the main hall, going towards the front gates. Class had been awful and they were both grateful it was over. Kate pretty much was invisible in almost every lesson, sitting in a corner, thoughtful and in her own world. Shannon was left watching her friend sitting all by herself and feeling sorry for her while Claire was making up theories about what could have happened between Jack and Kate. One thing was certain though. The outcome of their latest encounter was definitely not good.

Shannon waited patently for her friend to start spilling the beans, not wanting to force the answers out of her. Sure she was curious but she wanted Kate to talk to her for her own good too. If she kept the whole thing for herself, it would slowly eat her insides causing her to be even more miserable. It would be a hell lot better if she started screaming and crying and taking all the latest shit out of her system.

"He didn't even let me go up and talk to him!" Kate finally said, once they were out of school heading towards their houses.

'Here goes nothing', Shannon thought.

"What did you tell him, Kate?" she asked as gently as possible.

"I told him… I told him that nothing happened with Sawyer. I… i… said I was sorry…uh… but he wouldn't listen… and… and…." she trailed off as tears started streaming down her face and sobs overtook her body.

She hid her face in her hands letting the tears fall freely. Shannon immediately went to her and took her in her arms rocking her back and forth, trying to comfort her.

"Shhh… it's okay" Shannon whispered.

"He… he said he was sick of me. That… that he was tired of fe…feeling like this and… and that he didn't care anymore." she said while hicuping from the sobs.

"Bastard" Shannon whispered, trying to defend her friend.

"No!" Kate said and pulled out of the embrace. "He's right! How could I be so stupid… how could I do this to him…i… I love him, Shannon. I love him" she said as sobs overtook her body once again.

"I know, sweetie. I know" she said softly, pushing her hair out of her face. "We're gonna fix this, though. We're gonna fix this. I promise."

* * *

She walked slowly, uncertain for her actions. She knew it was a bad idea and that it would only result in her running back to her house and crying herself to sleep, but she couldn't help it. She had to see him, to try to explain to him, to make him forgive her. 

She was planning on talking to him at school. But he hadn't come. And that was bad. Really bad. She remembered the times when Jack had missed class. Actually she couldn't remember when that was. It seemed like even when he was sick to death he would find the courage to come to school and do his homework. So his skipping school was a bad sign and she was pretty sure it was because of her.

She reached his place and immediately spotted Margo's car. So much for plan A.

Time for plan B, she thought.

Walking carefully, she entered the Shepards' garden and once again she went round heading for Jacks window. She quickly reached the back of the house and looked up.

He was sitting on his bed, back against the wall, music extremely loud.

She watched him for a while, his look of total emptiness making her heart ache for him. Opening her mouth to yell at him, she took a step forward but stopped when she heard a cranch from under her foot.

She looked down and saw a piece of broken glass. She looked closely and realized that the place was full of shattered glass. Colorful glass. She bent down and examined it. And realization hit her.

It was the butterfly.

Her eyes burned and her stomach did a flip flop. A bad one. Gathered tears in her eyes blocked her vision and her heart was beating faster than ever.

He remembered… butterfly… birthday… broken….

Incoherent thoughts flooded her mind. The thought of him remembering her love for that butterfly making her smile with happiness but the thought of him being so hurt by her that he decided to break it making her sob in despair.

So she ran while thinking of what Jeffrey Glassberg once said.

_Beautiful and graceful, varied and enchanting, small but approachable, butterflies lead you to the sunny side of life. __And everyone deserves a little sunshine._

Everyone but me, she thought

A/N: Well what do you think? I took a while to update but i hope you didn't forget about me :-(


	13. I'm just Jack

**A/N: Please don't hate me for the delay… :-(**

Chapter 13

Three days had passed since the fateful incident between Jack and Kate. Two days since Kate realized how much she had hurt Jack. And one minute since she came to the realization that she was not good enough for him. Not as a girlfriend nor as a friend. She just didn't deserve him.

She knew that what happened with Sawyer was nothing to be embarrassed for because she had done absolutely nothing. Under normal circumstances she would be angry at Jack for even considering that she would go that far with someone she barely knew. But these were no normal circumstances.

She remembered herself daydreaming how it would be if Jack asked her out on a date or tell her he wanted her to be his girlfriend. Every time she imagined the whole thing she got butterflies in her stomach and a stupid smile on her face. But now she didn't deserve any of this. Not even in her imagination.

Jack had returned to school after missing one day but he was not the same any more. He didn't look sad but not happy either. He was just miserable in the inside. He talked with others, even smiled at some point but it wasn't honest, and Kate knew it was her fault.

At first she wanted to talk to him again. Explain to him what had really happened and express her feelings for him. She would even tell him that she was in love with him. But after seeing that broken butterfly her heart broke even more than before. Even the pieces of it had disappeared leaving her lonely and desperate.

So it had been three days since they spoke a word to each other. Not a single word or nod or even eye contact since their tearful confrontation in front of Jack's window. They both acted like they didn't care but they were dying on the inside.

"Hey girl" Shannon greeted her friend casually.

Kate looked at her and smiled, a sad smile. Shannon saw it but didn't say anything. Kate had pleaded with Shannon and Claire not to mention the certain subject again and not to try to make her feel any better. "I deserve to be miserable" were her exact words. After that Shannon and Claire had realized that they wouldn't succeed anything by comforting Kate so they decided to try and fix them up.

But that didn't work either.

Jack wasn't even talking to them. Not that he was mad at them but he generally didn't talk much. He would salute them, ask them how they were doing and that would be it. And every time they started talking about Kate or how sad he looked he would just smile and say that he would get over it.

"So Friday today. Wanna go grab something to eat and then go see a movie or something?" Shannon asked Kate.

"Uh… sorry my mom's waiting for me. I told her I'd help her with some chores." she said still in the sad tone that she used to speak the last couple of days.

"Oh" was Shannon's answer."Okay".

They walked out of the school and took the road for their houses. Shannon kept looking at her friend with worry until she decided to speak.

"Have you talked… at all?" she asked gently watching her friend's expression from sad turning to cold and blank at the same time.

"I told you I don't wanna talk about it" she said coldly not looking up.

She sighed."I know Kate and I'm not gonna pressure you but you can't keep doing this to yourself. You act like you're being punished for something that was merely your fault. I just don't…"

"Merely my fault?" she asked ridiculously snapping her head up.

"I.Broke.His.Heart!" she said not yelling but pronouncing each word very clearly for Shannon to understand.

"I know but…"

"There is no but Shannon" Kate said shaking her head. "I deserve it"

"Stop it!" Shannon snapped.

"Stop what?"

"Stop acting like you committed a crime for which you should be hung. Yes you screwed up I know but it's nothing that can't be fixed!" Shannon said.

"It can't be fixed Shannon!" she replied angrily.

"So what you're not gonna speak again? You'll act like you don't even know each other? Total strangers from now on? That was it?" Shannon asked angrily.

"I don't know Shan. I don't know" Kate said in a miserable tone.

Shannon realized she was hurting her with her words so she stopped yelling at her and decided that comforting her would be better.

"It's okay Kate" she said putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. He just needs time, that's all"

Kate shook her head. "Time won't fix this. I knew it wasn't gonna end well, I knew it would destroy everything but I decided to let it go, act on my feelings and…and… look where this got us…" she trailed off as she started crying. Again.

Shannon immediately hugged her not knowing what else to do. Every time they talked about Jack these couple of days, this was Kate's reaction after a while. No matter what Kate said, Shannon knew she didn't deserve this. No one deserved such kind of misery.

"I'm a selfish bitch, that's what I am" Kate said angrily as she wipped the tears away and pulled out of the embrace.

"Don't say that" Shannon said and tried to pull her back into a hug but Kate didn't let her.

"Why not? It's the truth. I put in jeopardy a ten-year-old friendship just because my stupid feelings got in the way. I played with his heart and broke it in a million pieces. And why? Because I was too weak to get over my feelings. The feelings I knew were wrong and would only bring trouble. If that's not selfish I don't know what is." she finished getting back on walking.

Shannon was right behind her.

"It wasn't only your feelings you know. Jack was and still is in love with you" Shannon said rushing to keep up with her stride.

"No. If it wasn't me and my stupid games he wouldn't be in love with me and now everything would be normal.No it's my fault." Kate continued the self-accusation.

"For the love of God! Jack was in love with you since sixth grade!!! Stop accusing yourself of something that you had nothing to do with!" Shannon yelled exasperated.

Kate didn't say anything just kept walking. Shannon had to turn left to head for her house but before she left she said " When you and Jack finally realize how strong your feelings are for each other you'll have wasted too much time. It might be too late."

And with that she left leaving a very confused and miserable Kate walking towards her house.

* * *

Sayid was sitting on Jack's bed for the past hour doing nothing but looking at Jack who was constantly playing with a small ball. He just kept throwing it on the wall and back again. They had said barely 2 words since Sayid came. 

Jack of course didn't know that Sayid knew everything about Kate but Sayid had a feeling that even if he knew he wouldn't be too happy if he brought it up. Claire and Shannon wouldn't be happy either if he didn't make Jack talk, though.

The truth was, that Sayid was sent, unwillingly, to make Jack spill the beans. Unwillingly because he was sure it would result in Jack getting mad and getting him kicked out of his house. And he really didn't want to sacrifice their friendship over that.

However he too noticed the change in Jack's behavior. Kate's effect on Jack was dramatic but the same was Jack's on Kate. So after an hour of thinking and battling with himself he decided to speak.

"So… what's wrong, man?" he said watching his friend carefully.

"What do you mean" Jack asked without looking at him.

"You look…kinda…miserable" Sayid said.

Jack stopped playing with the ball and looked at Sayid. He studied him for a minute and then realized what was happening.

"You talked to Claire and Shannon, didn't you?" he asked with a sigh.

Sayid was caught off guard.

"What? Why would you say that? No! Why would i need to speak with them? I don't know what you're talking about!" he said in such a rush that even a stupid man would realize he was lying.

"Great!" Jack said getting back on playing with the ball.

After a while Sayid decided it was pointless to deny it any more so he spoke.

"Fine. I talked to them. Want to tell me yourself?" Sayid asked.

"No" Jack said sharply without looking at him.

"Look Jack I know it…"

"When did they tell you about this anyway?" Jack said stopping the throwing-the-ball-against-the-wall game.

"Uh…just a couple of days… you… after Kate kissed you." he said wincing as he saw Jack getting more and more frustrated.

"What? I don't believe this! You knew all along… Shannon knew all along! So what you decided to tell Kate too and have a laugh about it?" he bit out angrily, his eyes becoming dangerous, his fists clenching.

"No, no, man… Kate… Kate didn't… We didn't tell her… I swear" Sayid said anxiously. Damn, this was getting worse and worse by the minute, he thought.

"So what? You decided to take turns in pitying me? Who's gonna comfort Jack today? Oh it's Sayid's turn!?" he said sarcastically still clenching his fists and looking dangerously at his friend.

"Claire only wanted to help…"

"If she wanted to help she would have kept her mouth shut!" he spat out angrily.

"She's your friend Jack" Sayid explained calmly, getting frustrated with his friend's overreaction about this.

"What kind of friend goes about and tells people my secrets?" he asked.

"The kind of friend who can't stand watching their best friend suffering and being miserable!" Sayid replied, anger evident in his voice. He expected Jack to be mad at Kate not at his friends for trying to help him.

"Right" he said sarcastically.

"Hey cut it out!" Sayid yelled getting his friend's attention.

"What's your problem man? She just wanted to help you and telling me and Shannon was her last resort! If you had put up the courage and talked to Kate nothing would have happened!" Sayid said exasperated.

"Oh so now it's my fault?" Jack asked ridiculously.

"Of course it's your fault! You decided to hide your feelings behind your finger and suffer the pain all by yourself! What did you expect Claire to do? Stand by and watch you beating yourself up? Stop acting like a brat and start acting like a man already!" Sayid finished screaming watching his friend's surprised expression. He may have gone too far but Jack was being a complete jerk.

Silence.

"I'm sorry" Jack finally said. He didn't know what else to say. Sayid was…right. He was acting like a 9-year-old boy. He demanded from everyone to confront him as a grown-up yet he was not acting like one. As for Claire he knew it was a matter of time before she told anyone about his feelings. After all there is a limit of how much a person can stand without talking.

Sayid sighed. He didn't want him to apologize. He wanted to talk about the certain situation, make him open up. But he realized now was not the time.

"Don't be sorry,man. I'm sorry I yelled at you"

"No, I deserved it. I was being a total jerk, weren't i?" he said with a sad smile.

"Kinda" Sayid said and they both laughed.

"Look Sayid, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Kate. I just wasn't sure it would turn out well which proved to be correct." Jack said sadly.

"Don't worry. Besides I didn't tell you about Shannon either." Sayid said with a secret smile.

"What about Shannon?" Jack asked curiously.

"I… we… we kinda…I think we're together" Sayid said and blushed.

"You think?" Jack asked and laughed.

"Hey! I just… I just don't know where we stand, you know?"

"Yeah. I know" Jack said and his smile faded.

Sayid saw that and stopped talking about Shannon.

"Hey man, what…what are you gonna do now?" he asked as he watched his friend's expression turn blank.

"What's there to do?" he said with a sigh.

"She didn't do anything you know. With Sawyer I mean…"

"Don't. Just don't. The point is that it didn't work out and it never would"

"Don't say that" Sayid said. "You don't know what could have happened if…"

"Nothing good, I'm sure" Jack cut him off." It just…wouldn't work. I was a fool to believe otherwise. And stupid to destroy our friendship over my pathetic feelings!"

"So what do you want now? Not to speak to her again? Not even see her?" Sayid asked.

Jack thought about it for a minute and then, resigned, he said "I just want my friend back. That's all"

"Then go get her"

* * *

Kate had just finished helping her mom with some chores and was exhausted. That was good though cause she didn't have much time to think about Jack and how screwed up things were because of her. 

They had just finished eating dinner when the doorbell rang. Diane looked at her daughter strangely.

"Do you expect someone?" Diane asked her daughter.

"None that I know of" she replied shrugging her shoulders.

Diane cleaning up her hands went to open the door. Once she did she saw a very nervous Jack waiting impatiently for her to open up.

"Hi…Miss Austen… I… I just… is Kate here?" he asked stumbling over his words and fidgeting furiously.

Diane however was amused.

"Yes dear. We just finished dinner."

"Oh I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. I'll just come another time…" he said and started to leave but Diane's laugh stopped him.

"Chill out, boy. I'm not eating boys who are dating my daughter. At least not yet" she said with a wink.

"What? No no no no no I'm not dating Kate. No no we're only friends. I'm only her friend. I'm just… Jack" he said more nervous than ever.

"I know you're Jack. " Diane said thoughtfully. "That's why I thought you were dating her"

Jack started answering but Kate suddenly appeared and took his breath away.

"Mom what's wrong? Who's…?" she was cut off by the sight of a certain Jack Shepard. A really nervous Jack Shepard.

"Jack!" she gasped.

"Hey" Jack said and fell into silence again.

They were like this for a while with Diane watching from her daughter to Jack and then back at her daughter trying to comprehend the situation. Giving up she said "Why don't you go take a walk and have…. a talk…perhaps?"

They both nodded and Kate taking her keys walked out and both her and Jack started walking towards the park. They were silent during the walk and really uncomfortable. Kate didn't know how to apologize again and Jack didn't know how to tell her what he was thinking.

Once they reached the park they went and sat down on a bench, without looking at each other.

"Jack Kate" they said in unison and laughed.

"You first" Kate said smiling at him, praying to God for something good. Anything that would make the pain in her heart go away.

"I just… I know…I know things aren't…. that good for us right now… and I know a lot has changed… but… but… I just…."

"Jack…" Kate started but was cut off.

"Will you be my friend again?" Jack asked her with pleading eyes. "I know we've been through a lot these last few days but… I just want it to be like before. I want us to be like before." he whispered.

Kate was silent. She didn't expect that. She thought he was either gonna tell her that he didn't want to see her again or he would hopefully give her another chance. But not that. He wanted them to be…friends again? Act like nothing had happened? Hide his feelings? Again?

"Kate?" Jack said surprised by the look of disappointment that covered her face. That's what she wanted, wasn't it? Or had he hurt her that much that she didn't even want him to be her friend?

"If you don't it's okay… I'll just leave…" he said and stood up with a heavy heart.

"What?No Jack! Of course I wanna be your friend! I just thought…" she trailed off as she didn't know how to explain her feelings to him. She didn't want to be just his friend. She didn't want to pretend that nothing had happened. She wanted to be able to touch him the way she wanted, kiss him the way she wanted.

"Okay" she said suddenly. If he didn't want her any more so be it. She would hide her feelings and at least she wouldn't risk hurting him again. Yeah, it was a good plan, she thought.

"Okay" Jack said too, smiling at her.

They smiled stupidly at each other when Jack reached to her and pulled her into a deep hug. Surprised, Kate, didn't hug him back at first but quickly recovered and buried her face into his neck, holding his back and breathing in his scent.

"I missed you" he whispered, his voice muffled by her neck.

"I missed you too" Kate replied feeling tears threatening to fall.

"Everything will be okay from now on" he said caressing her back.

"Yeah" she whispered but not believing it. 'No it won't be, she thought. It won't be because…I'm in love with you, she said to herself but didn't dare say it out loud. Didn't dare ruining everything. Didn't dare losing him again.


	14. Like before

**_A/N: Here's the next chapter! Hope you'll enjoy and tell me what you think:-)_**

**Chapter 14**

"Where do you think you're going?"

Jack stopped and slowly turned to look at his mother.

"Uh…out" he said fidgeting. Now was not the time to explain everything to his mother.

"I realized that, but you're not going." Margo said firmly.

"What? Why?" Jack asked baffled. As long as he remembered he had never given his parents any reason to forbid him from going out. He was like the perfect teenager, no drinking, no smoking, no trouble.

"Shall I remind you that you're grounded?" Margo said with a knowing smile.

"Oh come on mom, you're not serious" Jack said laughing. Grounded? He had never been grounded before, at least not from going out.

"I'm deadly serious, son. Now go back to your room and do your homework" Margo said and turned to leave.

"Wha….? I'm seventeen years old!" Jack exclaimed as if that explained something. He was really starting to get mad at his mother.

"And I'm way older than you so you'd better go back to your room before you make things worse!" Margo replied in the same tone.

"But… I have to go mom! It's really important… I…"

"You should have thought of that before you accused me and your father of oppressing you!" Margo said and a flash of hurt showed up in her eyes.

Seeing that, Jack felt a pang of guilt in his stomach.

"Mom, I'm sorry… I didn't mean it… really… I just…"

"You just were being too selfish to realize that people actually care about you and want what's best for you. You are just like your father!" Margo yelled.

Jack looked at her for a minute wondering what dad had to do with any of this.

"What did dad do?" he asked knowing that his father had once again caused his mother a great deal of pain.

"Nothing." Margo said immediately. "Go back to your room." she added firmly.

"Mom, what's wrong?" he pleaded with her.

"What do you think is wrong?" she snapped. "When was the last time you saw your father Jack?" she asked with tears in her eyes.

"I… uh… I don't remember. I think…"

"Don't bother. It's been two week Jack. Two damned weeks. He comes home at 5 am and leaves at 6. It's like the hospital has become his home. He eats there, he sleeps there and he does lots of other things there!" she cried

"Mom!" Jack said disgusted.

"What? So you're too old to be grounded but not old enough to hear that your father is cheating on me?" Margo said, now tears streaming down her face.

Jack didn't say anything. Looking down the floor he just turned around and went to his room.

* * *

"Hello?" 

"Hi Shannon. It's Jack."

"Oh hey Jack" a really confused Shannon said from the telephone

"Uh… do you… do you know where Kate is?" he asked nervously.

"No… I suppose she's home. Why?" Shannon asked surprised that Jack after what had happened decided to talk about Kate again.

"Uh… nothing… it's just… we were… I was supposed to go at her place but… i… got into trouble…and…and… I can't go…so…"

Shannon giggled. He was adorable when he was nervous.

"Did you call her home?" she asked still laughing.

"Yeah, but she won't pick up. Why are you laughing?" Jack asked

"Sorry, nothing. So what? You two are together now?" Shannon asked smiling, happy for the two of them.

"What? No no no no no no, we're not…we're not….together…as a couple together… no no no no we're just…we're friends again." Jack said, furiously trying to explain the situation to Shannon.

"Oh" Shannon said.

"You sound… disappointed." Jack said confused.

"That's because I am" Shannon explained angrily.

"Uh… are you mad at me?" Jack asked carefully wondering what he did to make Shannon angry. He was always careful not to piss off Shannon cause let's just say that he valued his life. Shannon was famous for her bad temper so he tried not to give her a reason to explode.

"You bet I am, Jack Shepard!" Shannon yelled causing Jack to jump a little.

'Shit, Jack thought.'

"Uh… why?" he asked.

"Why? You don't know why? When the hell are you gonna open you eyes?" she yelled at him, getting frustrated with his oblivion.

"Shannon…. forgive me but I have no idea what you're talking about" he said with a sigh.

"You don't know, huh? Well let me tell you something, Shepard. If she comes crying to me because of you once more, I'll come over there and make you regret ever being born!" she said and hung up.

A wide-eyed and very confused Jack put down the phone and stared at the wall.

"What the hell?"

* * *

18 years. 18 damned years. She was the perfect wife. Cleaning up the house, making lunch and dinner, bringing up his child, pretending not to see his affairs. But it was getting too much. Way too much.

Margo was sitting at the table, staring absently at the wall. Thinking about her life, how it used to be and how it has become. She wondered what people would think if they saw how miserable she is. They'd think she's ungrateful. After all, she has a successful husband, a beautiful house, a great amount of money and a son that every woman in this world would want to have him as her own.

And yet she was miserable. Because the successful husband was not hers, he belonged to his career and his nurses. The house she was living in was empty and sad. The money she owned were useless, she couldn't buy her happiness. And the son… the son was the only comfort she had.

But he would be gone very soon. He would be a grown a man. He'd go off to college, get a job get his own life. He wouldn't forget about her but he would have other, more important things to take care of. His wife, his children, his life. She would be left completely alone.

But she didn't blame him for that. She blamed no one. That was her life, the life she chose many years ago.

The bell interrupted her thoughts. Standing up and wiping away the tears that had started gathering in her eyes she went to open the door.

"Hi Mrs Shepard" a blushing Kate said, not looking her in the eye.

Margo smiled. "Hello Kate. How have you been?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Uh… do you know where Jack is?" she asked nervously.

"Uh yeah he's upstairs. Was he to meet up with you?" Margo asked.

"Yeah but it's okay. I'll just go" Kate said, hurt obvious in her eyes, thinking that he didn't want to be friends after all.

"It's my fault, Kate. He didn't mean to stand you up." Margo said quickly seeing her expression.

"Oh" Kate said thoughtfully.

"Why don't you go upstairs?" Margo asked.

"Uh… okay" she said walking nervously in the house. She hadn't forgotten the incident that occurred in this house with Margo interrupting it. Thinking of that she blushed even more and started heading towards Jack's room.

"Kate! Tell Jack I'm going out, okay?" she said with a tired smile that didn't go unnoticed by Kate.

"Okay" Kate said watching Jack's mother leave the house.

Slowly she went up the stairs and knocked on his door.

No answer.

She knocked again.

Nothing.

Slowly she opened the door. "Jack?" she said softly.

She froze.

Jack was lying on his stomach on his bed, shirtless and only in his boxers. He had his eyes closed and his head phones plugged in his ears. He was listening the "is this love" from Whitesnake so loud that she could clearly listen to it too.

Her breath quickened and suddenly the room was too hot for her. Sure it was a hot day but Kate thought that right this moment she was gonna evaporate.

"Jack?" she said again, louder this time. She tried not to look at him but damn him, he was irrisistable. His muscular back, his srong legs and his…Don't look there, she warned herself. Too late.

She blushed furiously just at the thought of it but didn't stop looking at him. She wanted to go over there and touch him so badly...

Feeling someone's presence Jack slowly opened his eyes and saw a blushing Kate staring at him. Thinking he was dreaming he closed his eyes and opened them again. Nope he wasn't dreaming.

Taking his head phones off he quickly stood up and that's when he realized why Kate's face was turned into a deep shade of red. He was almost naked.

"Shit" he muttered and grabbed the first pair of pants he found in front of him. Quickly, he put it on and looked up at Kate.

"Hey" he said.

"Hey" she replied without looking at him.

Silence.

"I'm sorry I didn't come… I called you but… I even called Shannon but… I'm sorry" he said truthfully.

"It's okay" she smiled and finally looked at him, still blushing.

They looked at each other without speaking.

"What happened with your mom?" Kate asked after a while.

"Uh… I'm kinda… grounded" he said embarrassed.

"Grounded?" she laughed. "You've never been grounded before! What did you do?" she asked still laughing, watching his adorable face going red.

"I just… crossed the line. Said things I shouldn't have." he said sadly remembering the look of hurt in his mother's eyes.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay" Kate said quickly.

"Yeah" Jack said smiling and going to sit on his bed.

However Kate stood there, not moving, blushing once again.

"What's wrong?" he asked worried.

"Nothing" she whispered, smiling nervously.

"Then come sit down," he said laughing at her nervousness.

"Oh" she said and went to sit down.

"I talked to Shannon. I was looking for you so…Anyway I think, no I'm sure, she's mad at me. Do you know why?"

"Shit. Did you tell her that… that… you know… we're back at being friends?" Kate asked.

"Yeah. Wasn't I supposed to?" he asked confused.

"No it's just… I haven't talked to her about… us… and… I don't know" she said with a sigh.

Jack didn't say anything, just looked at her. She was so beautiful. Her curly hair falling above her shoulders, her scent intoxicating, her eyes bright and sparkling with innocence and shyness and her lips, red and begging to be kissed. Damn, how he wanted to kiss her.

'Get over yourself, Jack thought.'

"So" Kate said

"So" Jack replied.

"Why did you want to… meet up?" she asked not looking at him.

"You know… just… just to hung out." he said."Like before"

"Yeah"she whispered "Like before"

_**The end. Just kidding :p This story is way far from ending. I may not know where it is actually going lol but i'm not planning on ending it any time soon :-) **_


	15. A reason to cry

_**So am i quick or what? Lol! I tried really hard to update ASAP and i hope i haven't screwed up... So read and tell me what you think :-) **_

**  
Chapter 15**

"Uh… hello. Could i… could I speak with Dr. Shepard?"

"Who's asking?"

"His son"

"Oh. I'm connecting you immediately Mr Shepard" the young receptionist said nervously.

'Mr Shepard? he laughed at himself. That was a first. Being the best doctor's son definitely had its funny moments.

"Jack?" Christian's tired voice sounded from the other end of the telephone.

"Hey Dad" Jack said trying to sound excited but failing miserably.

"What's wrong, son?" Christian asked worried. For as long as he had been working at the hospital Jack had never called him there except for the one time when Margo was very ill and Jack called for help.

"Uh…nothing… I just…" he trailed off not knowing how to explain his thoughts to his dad. It was hard enough to express his feelings and thoughts to any person asking but it was way harder when it came to his dad. It was like their connection, the weak one they had formed over the years, had been broken by the long hours of work his dad had. It was like his mother had said. They didn't live under the same roof any more.

"Jack you're scaring me. Is your mother okay?" Christian pushed.

"She's fine. Well at least she's healthy." he said sadly.

"What… what do you mean?" Christian asked confused.

"Look dad… can you come home today? I don't know… some reasonable time later" he suggested.

"I can't son… I have two surgeries planned and a lot of papers waiting to be signed. Now tell me what's wrong." he demanded having enough of his son's strange behavior.

"THIS is wrong dad. I haven't seen you for the last couple of weeks, mom is a wreck, you spend less and less time here and when you actually do come home you drink so much alcohol that you're not yourself anymore!" he snapped, taking the burden off his chest after all this time.

Silence.

"Jack…"

"Don't bother, dad" he interrupted him. "After all I'm only your not-good-enough son, remember?" and he hung up leaving a stunned and hurt Christian thinking of all his wrong choices and bad actions.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me!!!" Shannon screamed when Kate walked in her room. She had called her and since Shannon was taking a shower she left a message to her mother that she would stop by and hung out with Shannon for a bit.

"Look I'm sorry I just…" she started but didn't manage to end up her apology.

"You're sorry? I don't even know why I should be mad at you! For not telling me or for becoming friend with the man you're in love with?" she yelled exasperated.

"I'm not in love with him" she replied with confidence but her eyes betrayed her.

"Oh shut up! I'm not Jack, I actually have a brain!" she said sarcastically.

"Hey!"

"Okay that wasn't true." she said and seeing as Kate started laughing she realized how that sounded. "I mean I do have a brain but Jack has one too. I didn't mean that… oh what the hell?" she sighed laughing too with her friend.

Once the laughter stopped Shannon turned serious again.

"Seriously now, you can't keep doing this" Shannon said.

"There's nothing I can do Shannon" Kate said sadly sitting on her bed and looking down to the floor.

"Yes there is hunnie. Tell him how you feel!" Shannon said hopefully trying in vain to make her friend open up.

"That's ridiculous Shannon! I just got him back. Do you want me to lose him again?" Kate said.

"But you're not gonna lose him! He lo…"

"Stop it! Just stop! I don't wanna hear any of this crap! Jack's not in love with me! I'm lucky he even wants to be a friend of mine! And that's what I'll always be! Got it?" Kate said

Shannon shook her head. She was as stubborn as hell. But so was she.

"He told us! We're not just speculating! He told us he was in love with you!!!" she said exasperated.

"He only thought he was" Kate said slowly. "It's natural for friends to feel this way after so many years of friendship, but then it goes away."

"Like your feelings that went away, right?" Shannon asked sarcastically.

"I'll get over it" she whispered looking away from her in order to hide the tears threatening to fall.

"Kate…" she started but a knock on the door stopped her.

"Come in!" she yelled.

Sayid slowly made his way in the room, blushing and fidgeting making Kate smile at his adorable embarrassment.

"Hi" he said.

"Hi you back" Shannon said and to Kate's surprise she saw her friend's eyes lit up at the presence of a certain guy. She tried to think of another time when she looked that happy but she couldn't. Shannon had actually a crush over this guy. And what guy? Sayid was definitely not Shannon's type but it looked like they didn't care. Perhaps it was the opposite-attraction thing that brought them together.

Feeling uncomfortable with the sudden silence and the sly smiles Sayid and Shannon were exchanging she decided to leave.

"Okay then. I'm gonna head home. Mom's waiting for me. So… I'll call you later, okay?" she said while standing up to leave.

"Okay" Shannon replied looking at Sayid and not her.

Once Kate was gone Shannon literally jumped him. Throwing her arms around his neck and wrapping her legs around his waist, she attacked his mouth and lost herself in his feverish kisses.

"…. it's your fault…. how dare you…. I don't believe you….. I'm sick of it…. stop doing this…. go to hell…"

Silence.

Jack was sitting in his room, trying to do his homework but not being able to since his parents were screaming constantly for about an hour. His dad did actually come home for lunch at 3 o' clock, a weird thing for him to do. After they had finished eating Jack excused himself and went to his bedroom. And that's when the yelling started.

At first he only heard muffled voices but little by little the voices turned to yelling and then to screaming. He couldn't make out the actual words they were saying but he did understand the accusations. His dad claimed that his career is what brings the food on the table and his mom said that their food was coming home whether he overworked or not. It went on like this for a while till Margo decided to tell him that she new about his mistresses. Christian denied it at first but when he saw his wife's determined face he accused her of being cold and driving him in other women's arms.

That was when Jack got up and decided to go down and have a word with his father. However his mother beat him to it cause she started screaming at him and swearing like Jack had never heard her before. So he decided to stay put and let his parents deal with their problems. He was certain he heard his name mentioned once or twice but he didn't fret about it.

But now the yelling had stopped. And he was starting to worry. He didn't believe his father would ever hurt Margo, at least not intenionally, but just so he'd get sure of it he got out of the room and went downstairs. He listened carefully and heard his mother crying softly, from his dad's office. Thinking that his dad had done something to hurt his mother he went straight to his office only to get surprised by what he saw.

His dad was holding tightly his mom, while she had buried her face in his chest, sobbing and whimpering. But what surprised him the most was the fact that Christian himself was crying. Jack hadn't seen his dad crying since… ever.

Realizing he shouldn't interrupt them he turned to leave, but Christian saw him and immediately called him.

"Jack, don't leave" he called.

Turning slowly he said "It's okay dad, I just came to check up on you" he said slowly wanting to leave as quickly as possible.

"No, I want to have a word with you" Christian said in a firm voice that indicated he was having none of it. Margo slowly pulled herself together, wiped away the tears and giving her husband a tiny smile and her son a kiss on the forehead left the room.

Silence overtook them.

"Look son…"Christian started.

"I'm sorry, dad." Jack exclaimed. "I shouldn't have intruded in your relationship with mom and I shouldn't have lectured you about your job. I just…"

"Stop right now boy!" Christian ordered surprising Jack. "You have nothing to apologize for, in fact I'm the one who should be apologizing for neglecting you and your mother for so long. I'm sorry, son. I really am." Christian said tearfully in a pleading voice that was totally new for Jack.

"Dad…"

"Listen to me, Jack. I promise you I'm gonna do better from now on. If it weren't for you I would still be wasting my time over unimportant things forgetting to care about the things that have actual importance. I love you and your mother too much to keep acting like a selfish ass so I'll…oh"

Jack's arms were around him in a second. It had been so long since he had hugged his kid that it felt weird for a minute. But then the paternal instinct resurfaced from the depth of his heart and hugged him back.

Having held each other for over five minutes they decided it was time to break it up. Wiping away the tears threatening to fall and acting as manly as they could in order to cover their vulnerable state, they exited Christian's office and went to the living room where Margo was waiting for them.

The next few hours were some of the best of his life, Jack decided. For the first time in many years, the Shepards acted like a real family. They watched the news together, criticizing and commenting every subject that appeared and then they talked about school, work and Margo's latest winnings on cards.

Everything was going strangely well till Christian decided to ask Jack about his current girlfriend.

"I don't have one" Jack replied coldly, attracting Christian's opinion.

"You don't?" Christian asked surprised.

"No" Jack said and looked at his mother who was hiding a smile.

"Why not?" Christian pushed.

"Because i don't like any girl at the time" he replied still in the cold tone.

"Don't lie Jack" Margo said smiling making Jack snap his head up to look at her.

"I'm not lying" Jack said through gritted teeth.

"What about Kate?" Margo continued.

"What about her?" Jack bit out angrily.

"Ok chill out both of you" Christian said holding his hands up in front of him, sensing the tension between them. Turning his head to look at his son he asked gently "How is Kate by the way?"

"She's fine" Jack sighed.

"And…?" Christian pushed finding his son's embarrassment amusing.

"Look can we not talk about this?" Jack said annoyed. Why was it that everyone wanted to piss him off by mentioning Kate, Jack asked himself.

"Come on, Jack. Give me a chance here." Christian said acting hurt.

"Don't play the hurt-feelings-card on me, dad" Jack warned making Christian laugh.

"Jack he's gonna learn about you latest "achievements" whether you like it or not, You just decide which version is better, mine or yours." Margo said smiling sweetly at him.

Jack looked angrily at his parents. How the hell did they come to this? Sighing he decided it would be best if he got this over once and for all.

"It's nothing really I just… had some confusing feelings getting in the way…but…but it's okay now." he mumbled convincing neither his dad nor himself.

Sighing, Margo decided to take matters on her hands.

"What our embarrassed and blushing son is trying to say is that he realized after all these years of friendship with Kate that he is actually in love with her. And one day, if I hadn't the inspiration to go up and knock on his door we would be in grave danger of having a grand-child when we're young enough to have a child of our own." Margo said slyly.

"Mom!" Jack yelled.

"What? You didn't actually believe I bought the crap you were giving me about the hypothetical fight that ended up with you shirtless and Kate embarrassed to the bone, did you?" Margo asked.

Jack blushed even more and didn't say a thing. They fell in a complete silence till Christian's laughter interrupted it. Looking strangely at him both Margo and Jack they saw Christian shining with happiness, happiness caused by them. And that was the most amazing feeling in the world.

"God I missed you so much!" Christian exclaimed still laughing, wrapping them both in a deep hug.

"So… what's with the whole…happiness?" Kate asked Jack after an hour of just hanging out. Like before.

"Nothing I just… my dad came home today and…" he trailed off not knowing how to explain his feelings to Kate.

"It's okay, Jack. I know what you mean." Kate smiled. After all these years of friendship they had learned to communicate with just their eyes.

"So what did Shannon tell you about Sayid?" he asked changing the subject.

Kate laughed. "What did _Sayid _tell you about Shannon?" she asked back.

Jack laughed too. "He didn't actually speak. He just kept smiling and jumping like an idiot"

"Yeah. Shannon too. You know I've never seen her so happy before. At least not over a guy." Kate said thoughtfully.

"Yeah. Love does that to people." Jack said not daring to look at her.

Kate too looked everywhere but his eyes. Yes, she wanted to agree. Love makes people go crazy and act on impulse without thinking of the consequences. A consequence like destroying a friendship.

And that was when she decided to stop lying, stop pretending and stop hiding her feelings. Just like that, she was ready to admit everything to him. Taking a deep breathe she started

"Jack listen, I know we said to try and act like before but…but…but…"

"Kate?" he asked her gently, not understanding what she was trying to say.

"The thing is that I'm in lo…"

And the doorbell rang.

"Hold on" a confused Jack said, still not getting what she was saying. Standing up, he ran downstairs to open the door, since his mother was not home.

Damn it, Kate thought.

A few minutes passed and Jack had not come back yet. Starting to worry Kate decided to go downstairs and check up on him. Walking slowly towards the living room, and preparing herself to confess her feelings for him, she got surprised by the sight in front of her.

There, at the door opening, stood Sarah having Jack wrapped in a big hug. And Jack was holding her back. He was holding Sarah, his ex girlfriend, the woman who broke his heart not many years ago, the love of his life.

_**Soooooo? Am I being too mean???**_


	16. Broken hearts

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry if some of you were disappointed by the great amount of angst but it's needed for the story. I hope you won't stop reading this fic :-( **

**Chapter 16**

"Sarah?" Jack said softly trying to understand the reason his ex girlfriend was crying hysterically with her head buried in his chest.

No answer.

After a while of just holding her, the surprise he felt at seeing her was gone and was replaced by wonder. What the hell was she doing here?

Having forgotten all about Kate he caressed Sarah's back, talking to her softly like he used to when they were together. He hadn't forgotten their days together, how good they were as a couple. Everybody said so, well except for Kate. For some reason she didn't seem to like her and it certainly had an effect on Jack's feelings about Sarah. However he was in too deep to leave her just because Kate didn't like her.

"Sarah?" he said again and this time Sarah slowly lifted her head and looked at him through tearful eyes.

"Hi" she said softly, smiling through her tears.

"Hi you back" Jack said sensing old feelings resurfacing from the depth of his broken heart. He hadn't forgotten how much he cared about her but he hadn't forgotten how much she had hurt him either.

"What are you doing here Sarah?" Jack asked unwrapping his arms from around her.

"Is it a bad time?" Sarah avoided answering.

Realization hit Jack and remembered that Kate was waiting for him upstairs. Shit, he thought.

"Yeah it kinda is. Look can you…"

"Please Jack. I need to talk to you." she pleaded with teary eyes.

Sighing he said "Wait here for a minute, okay?"

"Okay" she smiled.

Running as fast as he could upstairs he opened the door to his bedroom and got surprised when he didn't find Kate in it. Looking around for a bit he decided to go downstairs in case she had come to look for him. However getting out of the room, he bumped into her.

"Oh sorry" he yelped.

"It's okay" she said, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Where were you?" he asked.

"Uh… bathroom. I…i.. have to go" she said quickly and turned to leave.

"Hey" he said grabbing her arm and turning her to look at him. "What's wrong?" he asked watching her tear strained face.

"Nothing, I just… don't feel that well" she lied pretending to smile.

"Do you want me to call your mom or walk you back to your house?" he asked getting worried by her strange behavior.

"No I'm fine. Besides you have company" she said and quickly left without looking back.

"How did you…?" he trailed off while running behind her.

Going downstairs, Kate immediately spotted Sarah sitting on the couch, wiping away the tears that were falling freely from her eyes.

"Kate! Wait up! Kate!" Jack was calling but Kate had no interest in staying here another minute. Without even speaking to Sarah she ran to the door and was gone within seconds leaving behind an offended Sarah and a confused Jack.

"What happened?" Sarah asked.

"I honestly don't know" Jack sighed and looked at her. She hadn't changed at all, he decided. At least on the outside.

"So" he said.

"So" she smiled.

"What's wrong Sarah? Why are you here?"

"Gee Jack I missed you too." she said sarcastically.

"Of course I missed you Sarah but I really don't get why you're here after everything…that's happened…between us." he said.

"Jack…" she said but couldn't find the words to continue. She knew she had caused him a lot of pain but she never meant to. Jack was an amazing guy but it seemed like she always wanted the bad ones.

"I… I… came here to… apologize" she said softly.

"Apologize for what?" Jack asked

"You know for what, Jack" she said as she wiped another tear away.

"It's been a long time since then, Sarah." Jack sighed and sat on the couch.

"I know Jack but i… I.. broke your heart…and I can't forgive myself for that." she cried.

Watching her in so much pain certainly made him feel bad for her but didn't make him forget how much pain she caused him.

"Why? Why now?" he asked her.

"Because I was an idiot and didn't realize it sooner" she said smiling.

He smiled too, suddenly feeling better.

"It's okay, Sarah. No hard feelings." he said looking down. The truth was he had spent 4 months beating himself up and mourning over Sarah. At first he was mad at her, then mad at himself and then he was nothing. Finally he got over it.

"I left him, you know." Sarah said in a small voice, not daring to look at him.

He didn't say anything. The _him _she was referring to was Clark, the guy she left him for. The guy she cheated on Jack with. Sarah was a year older than Jack so when she was a senior and had been dating Jack for almost a year she decided she needed a man and not a boy like Jack. One Saturday she had a fight with Jack over the occasional subject of their fights, meaning Kate. She was acting all jealous and Jack was tired of it. So she went to a party without him and that's where she met the 20-year-old Clark. He was everything that Jack wasn't for her so she decided to have some fun with him.

However Jack who was really trying to make things work between Sarah and him decided to go to the party and make up with her. Imagine the surprise he got when he saw her exiting the bathroom followed by a tall handsome guy who was zipping up his pants.

Sarah looked for him the next day but he beat her to it. He told her he had seen her with that guy and she didn't even deny it. She had said that Jack drove her to it and then left, leaving a hurt and miserable Jack behind.

The good thing was that they didn't have to be at the same school anymore since Sarah graduated not long after. Jack however didn't get over it that soon. He learned from a common friend that Sarah actually started dating that Clark-dude and was very happy. Of course he wanted her to be happy, but why couldn't she be with him?

Kate, even though she had warned him about Sarah, didn't tell him the all so familiar "I told you so". She stood by him and helped him forget about her. So finally, after a few months he had forgotten all about her and continued his life without thinking over her. Until now.

"So what now?" he asked her. If she had come just to apologize to him then she could be on her merry way now.

"Do you think…that…that… you could…give me…us…another chance?" she asked in a small voice.

That caught him by surprise.

"What?"

"Just…just… try again, you know?" she said nervously.

He just stared at her.

"You want… to get back with me?" he asked in utter shock.

"Would that be so terrible?" she asked offended.

"No…it's just…weird…I don't know. I haven't seen you for like a year and now I'm supposed to forget everything and get back with you?" he asked.

"I thought we had something" Sarah said sadly.

"We did. We used to, Sarah. But now… we're different." he tried to explain.

"You haven't changed at all, Jack. You're still the loving and caring guy that makes me go week in the knees" she said with a sad smile.

He laughed blushing.

"And I'm… I'm not the old me any more. But in this case I think it's for the best."

They looked at each other closely. Maybe she did change, Jack thought. And right now he didn't have anything to lose. His heart was already broken by a certain brunette. What was left of it was numb and maybe just maybe he needed this with Sarah to start have feelings again.

"Listen. Why don't we take it slowly and see how it turns out?" he asked hopefully not wanting to jump into a relationship that quickly.

She surprised him by jumping suddenly and throwing her arms around his neck. Jack tensed but returned the hug rather akwardly. She kissed him on the cheek and said

"Do you want to go see a movie tonight?"

"Uh… I don't know if I can… but I'll definitely call you" he said nervously.

Seeming satisfied she pecked him once more and left.

"Way to go, Jacko" he said to himself sighing.

"He was hugging her!!!???"

"Yeah" Kate replied sadly to Shannon.

"But…but…why…why???" Shannon asked in utter shock.

"Don't know, Shan. And to tell you the truth I don't even wanna find out."

"Are you kidding? If that little bitch is making a move on him I'm gonna rip her shiny hair off her head!" Shannon said in a dangerous tone.

"Maybe he forgave her" Kate said sadly. "After all she was the love of his life"

"What the hell are you talking about? Sarah? The love of his life? Are you stoned or something?" Shannon asked.

"Seriously Shan, don't you remember how hurt he was when he found out that she cheated on him. Well I do, cause I was the one to pick up his pieces." Kate said sadly.

"So what? Just because he had a hard time getting over the fact that she cheated on him means that she was the love of his life? No way." Shannon said shaking her head.

"I swear Shan if she breaks his heart again I'll…" her warning got interrupted by the bell. "Are you waiting someone?"

"Claire" Shannon said and ran downstairs to let her in. A minute later Shannon entered the room with a furious Claire following.

"He gave her another chance! To that little bit…"

"What? What happened?" Kate asked.

"I called him today to see if he wanted to do something together and he told me that he had plans with Sarah" Claire said angrily.

"What?" Kate asked in shock.

"That was my reaction too. He said that Sarah asked him for a second chance and since he believed that she truly changed decided to give it to her." Claire bit out.

Kate was silent.

"That bitch! What the hell did she do to him again? I can't believe he's gonna fall for her all over again!" Shannon exclaimed frustrated.

Kate was still silent.

"They are gonna go to the movies in a couple of hours and… Kate, are you okay?" Claire asked gently as she saw her friend trying to hold back the tears.

Kate didn't say anything, just stood up, wiped away the tears and left the room.

Claire looked at Shannon. "Did I do something to her?" She asked sadly.

"Actually you did. You just told her that the man she is in love with is going out with another girl."

"Shit" Claire said.

What the hell was he doing? Getting back with Sarah? Jack silently cursed himself for being so impulsive. He should have thought of it before he agreed to try again.

He was standing in front of the mirror, with a towel wrapped around his waist. He had just got out of the shower and the second thoughts were screaming in his head. What if she cheats on him again? What if she leaves him? What if he doesn't feel the same way for her as he used to? What about Kate?

What about her? a small voice told him. You're only a friend to her. And the last time you went out with Sarah you managed to stop thinking about her at least during the time you were with Sarah. That was the reason you went out with Sarah in the first place after all. To forget about Kate. And even though Sarah was no where near making you feel like Kate does she still made you feel something. Of course the feelings were not as strong as those for Kate but it's this or nothing" the small inner voice continued.

"Shut up, I'll do it" Jack replied to the voice and went to get ready for their date. However the bell rang and Jack wondered if Sarah decided to stop by his house and go together to the movies. Realizing he couldn't change cloths now he ran to the door and wearing nothing but a towel around his waist he opened it.

"When were you gonna tell me?" A furious Kate asked him getting in the house.

"Uh… what?" Jack asked confused, fixing the towel so as to not have any embarrassing accident.

"Cut the crap Jack! When were you gonna tell me about Sarah? Or was I to find out when the invitations for the wedding arrived?" Kate asked, hovering between tears and fury.

"I…uh…wanted to be certain." Jack said not really getting why she was mad at him.

"Certain for what? That she'll break your heart again?" She asked.

"Kate, what the hell is going on with you?" he asked getting mad at her too.

"What the hell is going on with _you_, Jack? Did you forget what she did to you? How you suffered afterwards?" She continued.

"No, Kate. I haven't forgotten about it but I want to make a new start…"

"With her?" she yelled.

"Oh so we're back at your hating Sarah. I never really got why you hated her so much Kate. Care to elaborate?" He asked angrily.

"Because she doesn't give a shit about you or your feelings! She only sees you as a way to gain more fame!" she yelled at him, coming to stand right in front of him.

He stared at her, looking thoroughly taken aback for a few seconds before starting laughing.

"You think it's funny?" she bit out angrily.

"Yeah I think it's funny that you're jealous of her"

She didn't deny it. She avoided eye contact with him but realized it was time for him to find out everything.

"Fine, I'm jealous of her" She admitted and saw Jack getting a serious look on his face.

"For what? Her popularity? Her conquests? Or maybe because she's a natural blond?" he asked sarcastically.

"What?" she asked surprised. Apparently he didn't realize the reason she was jealous of Sarah was because she had him.

"I don't get it Kate. You always act like you don't care about these things. You accuse people of being low when they quest fame. So what now? You decided you want to become homecoming Queen?" he said angrily.

"You're an idiot" she whispered, blinking back the tears that trembled on her lashes and turned to leave.

But Jack grabbed her and turned her to look at him, bringing her dangerously close to him.

"What is it Kate? What does Sarah have that you so desperately want?" he pushed and finally Kate snapped.

"You, damn it! She has you!" she screamed as tears fell from her eyes and Jack let go of her.

Jack looked at her shocked. Shaking a little his head he said "You're jealous of her because you think… she'll take me away…from you?" he asked trying to understand but failing.

"Because I'm in love with you, you jerk!" she yelled.

"What?"

"That's right. Finally I got the guts to tell you. I'm in love with you! I love you with every fiber of my being! I've loved you all along but was too much of an idiot to realize it! And then you kissed me and I thought… I thought that you could maybe feel the same way… fool that I am."

"Kate…" Jack started trying to recover from the shock her words brought on him.

"But I'm through with this. Through with trying in vain to hold back the tears when I see you with another new of your conquests. Through with hiding my feelings so as to protect our friendship. Through with hoping you'll fall in love with me." she said as she started sobbing.

"Kate please let me explain…" Jack started wanting nothing more than to tell her that the feelings were mutual. But Kate was having none of it.

"No, there's no need for that. I won't speak of my feelings again. It will only humiliate me and trust me I have been humiliated enough to last me a lifetime" she cried and with that said she turned and left.

**So???What do you think???**


	17. I'd love to

**A/N: Here i am! I was quick wasn't i? This is a much shorter chapter than the previous ones but i have a feeling that you'll like it ;-) At least i hope so...  
**

**Chapter 17**

Running away from Jack's house was becoming a habit for Kate. Every time she went there to meet him she'd end up in tears and running away from him. However, this time was different, cause she wasn't running alone. Jack was right behind her, trying to reach her.

But feeling him behind her only made her run faster. She didn't want his pity and she didn't want to hear how sorry he was. She wanted to go home, cry her eyes out, fall asleep and wake up two weeks later.

But he didn't give up. She was definitely a faster runner than him but right now he was giving all he got. He wouldn't get another chance, he didn't want to have another chance. Finally her feelings were out in the open and he wanted to bring his feelings out too. No more waiting, no more hiding, no more wasting valuable time. It was now or never.

"Kate…!" he yelled breathless but had no result.

She kept running and running while tears were falling freely from her eyes.

"Kate please…!" Jack tried again but failed to make her stop.

She could hear him calling her, she could hear him getting closer They were now running through the park which was only five minutes far from Kate's house. Making up her mind and deciding it was better to get this over with than when she was at home, she stopped and turned around only to have Jack fall upon her and end up lying down with Jack above her.

"Sorry" Jack gasped, out of breath, but didn't get up.

They stayed silent for a few seconds, trying to catch their breaths till Kate spoke.

"Do you mind…?" she said indicating for him to move off of her.

"Yes actually, I do" he said seriously.

"What?"

"Since you're not planning on listening to me I see no other way to make you" he said grinning, feeling happy that he would finally get to tell her how much he loved her.

"Jack, let me go" she whined, twisting underneath him.

"Not until you listen to me" he said grabbing and putting her hands above her head to stop her from moving.

Sighing she decided it was pointless. He was a head taller than her, a lot pounds heavier and much stronger than her.

"Fine" she said but turned her head to the side, avoiding eye contact.

"Look at me" he said calmly.

No reaction.

Realizing it was pointless to fight with Kate's stubbornness, he resigned.

"Fine. I'll talk to your cheek then." he said stubbornly.

Still no reaction.

"Seven years ago I told Claire a secret. Something I never told anyone, not you, not Sayid not even myself sometimes." Taking a deep breath "I told her I had feelings for you"

Kate's expression didn't change. She just flinched and continued looking away from him.

"Of course you'd say that I was only ten years old, so I couldn't know anything about love and such things. So I forgot about it, never mentioned it, even though my feelings grew stronger and stronger."

He sighed.

"But everything came back the day you told me about Tom." he laughed. "I was so mad at you and I had no reason. I felt betrayed even though you had done nothing wrong. I'm sure you remember how I always told you I didn't like him and that he wasn't for you" he said

"How could I forget?" she said still not looking at him, trying to break free from him. But Jack was having none of it and grabbed her with more strength, careful not to hurt her.

"Hey hold still! I'm not done yet" he warned, not angrily but in a serious tone wanting to show her how important this was.

She stopped moving.

"As I was saying, I didn't like Tom even though he appeared to be a decent guy. At first I thought I was only looking out for you but then, when I saw you kissing him I lost it" he said in a bitter tone remembering that day.

Kate didn't say anything but relaxed a bit underneath him.

"Yeah. That was when I realized I was jealous and that's when I admitted to Claire that I couldn't see you as a friend anymore." he said softly, watching happily as she finally turned her head and looked at him.

"So what? Sarah was there to comfort you and obviously you got over me really soon" she said angrily.

"Is that what you think?" he spat back angrily.

"What am I supposed to think Jack? You were in love with Sarah, not me. You told me so yourself" she said avoiding eye contact once again. She couldn't help it, it was too painful to look at him.

"Did i? Did I tell you I loved her? Did I tell you I was in love with her?" he pushed knowing he never said anything about loving Sarah.

Now that she was thinking about it, he never actually told her about his love for Sarah. She had concluded that he had strong feelings for her by the way he reacted when she left him.

"You didn't have to tell me anything Jack. I was there when she left you." she said sadly.

"So you thought I was so in love with her that I couldn't get over her?"

She didn't answer.

"Did it cross your mind that I might have acted this way because I felt betrayed? Because she cheated on me? Because I felt I had no luck in love? I'm telling you right now I did have feelings for her, I cared for her and it did hurt me that she left me for another man." he said

"See, that's exactly my po…"

"But do you want to know what I'd do if _you_ left me? I'd stop breathing. I'd stop waking up in the morning. I'd stop living." he whispered.

She didn't say anything but she did turn to look at him.

"When you kissed me that day I felt like I was the happiest man in the world. But then you ran and my world fell apart once again." he said sadly.

"Jack…" she started.

"Let me finish. You have no idea how much you mean to me. And when we decided that ridiculous friendship with benefits thing I thought it was the only way to keep you in my life. I couldn't risk telling you then how I felt because I was terrified you would blow me off." he continued.

"Jack…" she said with tears in her eyes.

"And then I saw you with Sawyer. I felt like… like a dead man. I thought I had lost you for good. I was so miserable I couldn't even…" he trailed off shaking his head as if trying to throw out all the bad memories.

"I didn't kn…" she started but he didn't let her finish.

"And I don't wanna get back together with Sarah. I didn't even want to the first time. I only wanted to forget about my feelings for you. I never loved her. I never loved anyone as much as I love you. I know it will be difficult but we shoumpf…"

Her lips were on his.

She backed off a little and whispered with a smile "Shut up, Jack"

And they were kissing. Fully. Passionately.

He let go of her hands and brought his behind her head to bring her head up to deepen the kiss. H r hands went behind his head, caressing his neck and slowly traveling up and down his back. They were finally honest with each other about their feelings and wanted to make up for the wasted time.

He buried his hand inside her dark hair, thrusting his tongue inside her mouth, wanting to taste her again, after all this time. She was intoxicating like before but this time it was different. This time he knew she felt the same for him. And she knew how deeply he felt for her.

Their tongues caressed each other, going deep, wanting to taste more and more. Their hands were now traveling freely on each other's bodies making them both sigh in pleasure. Jack's hand went to caress her hip, going slowly underneath her shirt while Kate's hands were already caressing Jack's back under the shirt.

Jack groaned in pleasure and Kate burst out in laughter.

"What?" he asked breathlessly.

"We're in the middle of the park" she giggled.

Realizing that they were in a public place, certainly not a place to do such kind of things, he laughed too and quickly got off of her.

They stood up and looked at each other bashfully.

"Kate?" he asked nervously.

"Yeah" she said smiling at his adorable nervousness.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked blushing making her smile.

"I'd love to."


	18. My little butterfly

**Hey guys! I'm here again! Someone pointed out to me that in the 16th chapter Jack was only wearing a towel and then at the beginning of the the 17th chapter he was running after Kate. Now even though that would be a very interest sight, that wasn't my purpose. I totally forgot about it and i'm sorry. Just imagine he had some clothes near the door and put them on in a matter of seconds LOL. Anyway i hope you'll enjoy the chapter... Happy and fluffy as requested. :-) **

**Chapter 18**

"Not this…not this…no…no… not in a million years…no…no…definitely not….no…no… What the hell am I gonna wear?" Kate exclaimed exasperated.

She had been searching inside her closet for something to wear for about half an hour, and still she had nothing. She wasn't the type of girl to freak out over what to wear on a date but this was no regular date. This was a date with Jack Shepard, the love of her life.

Finally, admitting defeat, she picked up the phone and called the one person capable of helping her find the right clothes.

"Shannon, I need help!" she said once Shannon answered the phone.

"I'm very well thank you, and you?" Shannon said sarcastically.

"Seriously Shan, I'm in deep shit!" Kate said in a serious tone.

"What's wrong, now?" Shannon sighed.

"I have nothing to wear!" Kate exclaimed in a whiny tone.

"Uh… why don't you go shopping? I mean that's what people do when they don't have any clothes…" Shannon said confused.

"Not in the meaning of not having clothes at all, Shan" Kate said angrily.

"Then what's the problem?" she asked.

"I'm going out tonight and I can't find anything suitable" Kate said sighing.

"Hold on. Are we supposed to go out tonight?" Shannon asked, afraid she had forgotten any plans she had made with Kate.

"No Shan. I'm going... on a… date." Kate said slowly, knowing she wasn't gonna get away with this.

"WHAT?" Shannon screamed.

"Don't make this a big deal Shan, cause it's not." Kate lied, knowing very well that going out on a date with Jack was the most important thing in the world.

"Kate Austen is going out on a date and I'm supposed to make light of it?" Shannon asked inridiculously.

"Shan…"

"Shut up. I'm coming over there and you better start spilling the beans cause I'm not in the mood to play 20 questions." And with that said she hung up.

"Shit" Kate muttered.

Fifteen minutes later Diane opened the door to a really pissed off Shannon.

"Hey Shannon" Diane said politely.

"Hi miss Austen" Shannon faked a smile.

"What's wrong, hun?" Diane asked.

"Your daughter is going crazy" Shannon said seriously making Diane laugh.

"Tell me something new, dear" Diane laughed and went to the kitchen.

Staring absently at the closet Kate didn't realize Shannon getting in the room until she yelled startling her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Shannon yelled making her jump.

"Jesus Shan, you scared me" Kate breathed.

"Well, you should be scared! Who the hell are you going out with?" She asked angrily.

"Why are you mad at me?" Kate asked confused.

"Why do you think? You decided to go out with some guy just so you could get back at Jack for going out with Sarah!" Shannon yelled.

"I…uh…what?"

"Don't act all innocent on me! Now tell me. Who's the lucky guy?" Shannon asked sarcastically.

Realizing she had not told Shannon her latest encounter with Jack, Kate felt bad immediately. But watching her all furious and mad was kinda amusing. It wouldn't be that awful if she played her a little bit more, would it?

"Shannon, I'm sorry but I don't know what to do" she whined as she put her face in her hands pretending to cry while truly she was laughing.

"Well you could always tell him how you feel instead of picking up a random guy and have your way with him so as to punish Jack" Shannon said softly this time, feeling bad she had made her friend cry.

Lifting her head slowly she looked Shannon in the eye and said "I told him"

Silence.

"What?"

"I told him" Kate repeated as she formed slowly a happy smile on her face.

"What? Who? " Shannon stuttered.

"Are you dumb? I told Jack I loved him" Kate said like it was the most natural thing to do.

Shannon stared at her, watching her happy face, realizing she was telling the truth.

So, you're…going out…with Jack?" Shannon asked watching carefully her expression.

"Yep." Kate said surprised by her reaction. "What do you say?"

"Well, I say AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She let out a high-pitched scream while she jumped up and down.

Kate laughed at her but after a few seconds she joined in the happy dance and the squealing.

"What? What's wrong?" Diane burst into the room, worried and ready to save the girls who immediately stopped dancing embarrassed.

"Kate's going out wi…." Shannon started but Kate's elbow stopped her.

"I got an A on a math's test, mom!" Kate lied, throwing Shannon a warning look.

"You always get A's on maths" Diane said confused.

"Yeah but this one was a very difficult one" She explained smartly.

"Yeah, even Jack got a B" Shannon popped in, smiling knowingly at Kate.

"Wow" Diane said sarcastically leaving the room and going back downstairs.

"Why didn't you tell her?" Shannon asked curiously.

"Cause…I don't know… I wanna be sure first" Kate said softly.

"Sure about what?" Shannon asked starting to get mad again. "About his feelings? I told you he…"

"I know Shan. I know. He told me so himself." she said with a shy smile. "I just wanna be sure we're doing the right thing, you know?"

"I know" Shannon smiled sympathetically. She understood her insecure. It was enough difficult to retain a relationship, but it was way too hard to do it when the two involved were best friends through their whole life.

"Can you help me…find something to wear?" Kate asked shyly.

"Only if you agree to wear whatever I tell you" she said with a cheeky smile, going into her closet to investigate.

"Oh dear God!" Kate sighed.

"Mom! I'm going out!" Jack yelled and headed to the door.

"Hold it right there!" Margo said in a firm voice.

"What?" Jack asked.

"I thought you were grounded" she said.

"Come on mom! It's been a week! I can't be grounded for that long!" Jack whined.

"I'm gonna decide that, not you. And where had you planned to go?" Margo asked curiously.

Shifting nervously, Jack decided to tell her the truth. Not all of it, just a part.

"To Kate" he said.

"Oh" Margo exclaimed surprised. "So you made up?"

"Kinda" Jack said nervously.

"What do you mean by kinda? Are you friends again or not?" Margo asked.

"Well we're talking again, but we're not exactly like we used to be" Jack said. He was kinda telling the truth, he was just leaving some important information out. Like the fact that they weren't friends any more, but a couple. A couple, Jack thought smiling.

"What are you smiling about?" Margo asked, watching a happy smile on her son's face.

"Nothing." He said quickly. "Can I go now?" he asked doing his well-practiced puppy dog eyes.

Staying silent for a few minutes, enjoying the look of pleading on Jack's face, Margo finally spoke.

"Go and be careful" she said.

"Thanks" Jack said enthusiastically as a wide grin spread over his face.

Ten minutes later, at exactly 8 o'clock he was standing outside the door of Kate's house, more nervous than ever. Why am I nervous? Jack thought. It's just Kate. I've gone out with Kate before. Yeah but not like this, a small inner voice told him. Still, I know her, Jack continued thinking. Besides, we're just going to the movies. But… shall I kiss her in the end? I know I've kissed her before but maybe we should take it slow… But what if she thinks I'm too boring as a boyfriend? Snap out of it. You'll do just fine, Jack said to himself and with that he rang the bell and waited impatiently till Diane showed up to the door.

"Jack! I didn't know you were coming!" Margo said surprised. She too knew her daughter and Jack had a falling out. "Come in" she added and let him in.

"Hello miss Austen" Jack said fidgeting. What the hell was wrong with him? he was never nervous around Kate's mother so why the sudden embarrassment?

"Are you okay, dear?" Diane asked watching his face turn into a deep shade of red.

"I'm great" he said faking a smile. "Is Kate upstairs?" he asked.

"Yeah. You can go" she said watching him carefully. He really didn't look that well.

Jack hurried his way upstairs and knocked on Kate's door. He waited for a "come in" to sound but suddenly the door opened and breathing was something that Jack stopped doing. Kate was standing in front of him and she was absolutely stunning.

"Hi" she said shyly. Jack however couldn't speak. He looked her from head to toe. She was wearing a not too short, but short enough to show her beautiful legs, jean skirt and a black tight shirt with enough cleavage to make Jack's mouth water.

"Jack!" she said waving her hands in front of him bringing him back to earth.

"Oh…sorry…I just…you look….you are…you look…"

"Awful?" Kate said feeling tears flooding her eyes. Damn it, Shannon, she thought.

"Are you kidding? You are perfect" he said making her blush.

"Thanks." she said shyly. "You don't look bad yourself"

"Thanks" he chuckled."Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yep. Let's go" she said closing the door to her bedroom.

Two hours later they emerged from the cinema, holding hands and smiling like idiots.

"So you're telling me you liked it?" Kate asked inridiculously, laughing as he blushed in embarrassment.

"I can't believe _you _didn't like it!" Jack laughed. "It's a chick-flick. Girls are supposed to love them" he explained.

"And yet you liked it! Is there something you're not telling me?" she teased.

"Cute" he said. "Where do you wanna go now?" he asked carrssing her hand.

"Don't care. As long as I'm with you, I don't care" she said sweetly, blushing slightly.

He didn't say anything to that. Words didn't matter anymore. He just brought her hand up and kissed it, feeling exactly as she said she did. He didn't care for anything as long as he had Kate.

"Let's go to the park" he said breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen upon them.

Ten minutes later they were sitting comfortable on a bench, Jack straddling it and Kate sitting sideways looking at him.

"I really had a great time Jack" Kate said smiling.

"You sound surprised" he teased.

"No..i mean yes…I just…I was afraid, you know?" she said trying to make sense.

"Yeah, I was scared too" Jack admitted. "But I'm not any more" he added in a whisper that managed to make the hair on her neck stand.

"Neither am I" she whispered, staring back at him.

Slowly and gently, they brought their faces together, lips crushing against lips. This time it wasn't frenzy, nor hasty. It was a slow, breathtaking and passionate kiss, that numbed their senses. They hadn't kissed again since this morning at the park and yet they felt that they would die if they didn't taste each other again.

Jack brought his hand and caressed her neck bringing her even closer. Inserting his tongue in her mouth, he let a satisfied breath, happy to feel her again so soon. He buried his hand in her wild dark hair and grabbed a fistful of them, tilting her head to the side to deepen the kiss. Hearing her moan he thrust his tongue even deeper, reaching the depths of her mouth.

Slowly she brought her hand to caress his thigh and then go up to grab his shirt and bring him so close, there was no air between them. He grabbed the back of her head and intestified the kiss, wanting more, needing more. She hold his back with both hands now, caressing him, feeling his muscles tense and relax every time she touched him. This felt so good, she thought.

Giving her small baby kisses, Jack slowly pulled back, still holding her neck, not wanting her to leave him so soon. She smelled like vanilla, an intoxicating perfume, her natural perfume that made him go week in the knees. He would never be able to resist her, he knew that much. And as he saw her tremble at his touch, he realized the feelings were mutual. Putting a stray of hair behind her ear he kissed her cute nose and said softly " You're so beautiful"

She blushed but her eyes sparkled, which only made her more beautiful.

"I've never felt this way before" she whispered, looking at him with shy eyes.

"Good to know" he smiled and pecked her once more.

"Jack?" she asked looking down.

"What is it?" he asked.

"What did you tell Sarah?" she asked, her tone cold and distant.

"I told her I was in love with my best friend" he answered, making her snap her head up to look at him surprised.

"Really?" she asked.

"Really" he said smiling at her adorable jealousness. "No need to be jealous" he teased.

"I'm not jealous" she said hiding it as much as she could.

"Of course not" he said with a grin, while taking her in a big hug.

They stayed that way for another good 10 minutes when Jack realized it was time to go before they both ended up grounded. He walked her home even though she insisted she was fine going on her own and now they stood in front of the main door of Kate's house, telling their goodbyes. Meaning kissing.

"Mmmmm…" Kate moaned loudly as Jack so expertly explored her mouth. Finally pulling away, stealing small kisses, they said their goodbyes, kissed each other once again and settled another date for the next day. Since this one went that well it would be a waste not to repeat it.

Walking back to his house Jack did the only thing he could. He thought of Kate. A smile formed on his face and didn't leave. He was as happy as he would ever be. Suddenly he remembered what Nathaniel Hawthorne once said :

_Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you_.

Thinking of Kate he said smiling "My little butterfly"


	19. It'll be amazing!

**A/N: Hey you guys! Sorry for the delay! Thanks for the reviews! I know i have annoyed you with the consecutive jangst but i can't help it:-( Anyway, i'll try to take it easy from now on...;-) **

**Chapter 19**

"Ok now spill it"

"Wha… I just told you"

"Not about the date. About what happened after that" Shannon said winking to a very confused Kate.

"Uh…I'm…I'm lost. What do you mean after the date?" Kate asked.

"You know what I'm talking about! I was always wondering about Jack's… you know" Shannon said beaming.

"I still don't understand what you're talking about" Kate said confused.

"Damn, you're way too prude. I'm talking about dessert" Shannon said.

"What dessert? I told you, we went to the park and then he walked me home…"

"That's all?" Shannon asked shocked.

"Uh…why? What did you expect?" Kate asked.

"Hmm… I don't know… maybe your losing your virginity, I guess?" Shannon said sarcastically.

"What?!" Kate gasped.

"Oh dear God, you didn't even come close to it, did you?" Shannon sighed.

"Of course not! It was our first date, Shan! What was I supposed to do? Jump him and get it over with?" Kate said baffled.

"Well, that would have certainly made his day" Shannon laughed.

"He'd think I was a slut, Shan! " Kate said exasperated.

"Well he didn't think so when he was about to take the final step a week ago, did he?" Shannon asked as a matter of fact.

"Well…he didn't…I mean… we were caught up in the moment….and didn't think….and…"

"But you wanted him" Shannon said.

"That's not the point."

"And he wanted you" she continued.

"That's not the point, Shan" Kate said angrily.

"That's exactly the point, Kate. You've known each other for over ten years, you trust him, he trusts you, you love him, he loves you, why don't make it official?" Shannon asked.

"We don't need to have sex to make it official, Shan. That's ridiculous" Kate said with a sigh.

"Is it? Kate, listen to me. Jack's a guy, a great guy, but a guy nonetheless. Men don't sit around and wait for women to decide when they're gonna give in. They don't wait, they leave." Shannon said.

"Jack loves me" Kate said pointedly.

"I know Kate but…"

"No buts. He's not that kind of guy" Kate said trying to convince not only Shannon but herself too.

"No one is at the beginning Kate but…"

"Stop it. Why are you doing this to me? Why? I finally have a reason to be happy and you're taking it away from me" Kate said with tears threatening to fall.

"Kate, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you have doubts about Jack. I just don't want you to get hurt in the end." Shannon said pleading with her to understand.

"So sleeping with Jack will save me from a broken heart? Is that what you're saying?" Kate asked a tear falling from her eyes.

"Please don't cry, Kate. I just don't want you to get through what I did with Josh" Shannon said crying too.

Kate's expression softened.

"Oh Shan" she said softly and hugged her as Shannon cried on her shoulder.

Five minutes later Shannon wiped away the tears left and smiled at Kate.

"Thanks" she said softly.

"Anytime," Kate replied smiling.

"I didn't mean it. About Jack. I don't think he'll leave you. He's too nice to become a jerk like Josh" Shannon said.

"It's okay." Kate said thoughtfully.

Seeing her expression Shannon asked "What is it?"

"Do you… do you think… you could help me?" Kate asked blushing furiously.

"Help you with what?" Shannon asked.

"You know…" Kate trailed of, looking down embarrassed.

Realizing what she meant, Shannon giggled.

"You want to know what it's like?" Shannon asked still giggling.

"Stop laughing" Kate said embarrassed.

"Ok. What do you wanna know?" Shannon asked.

"Does it hurt?" Kate asked curiously.

"If the guy is gentle only a little, and then it's all gone. But if he is reckless then I can't make any promises." Shannon said wincing.

"Oh" Kate said, suddenly feeling scared.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm sure Jack will be perfect and you won't even feel any pain" Shannon said reassuringly.

"Yeah. But what if…I'm…if I'm…horrible?" Kate asked.

"That's not gonna happen, Kate. Jack is a great guy. And I'm sure he's got some experience on the subject so he'll know what to do" Shannon said.

"Exactly! What if i…I…i….i…" she trailed off as once again tears filled her eyes and she buried her face in her hands.

"Oh honey, it's okay" Shannon said reassuringly, caressing her back.

"No it's not… He's be-en wi-th Sa-rah and-and I b-et she w-as all h-ot and se-xy and I'm-I'm just a-a tom-boy he's-he's not go-ing to li-ke me and-and I'll-I'll…" Kate tried to say but the sobs prevented her.

"Stop it! You're talking shit right now because you're nervous! You're not a tomboy, you're beautiful. Sarah was just a fake with tons of make-up on her face to hide the ugliness. But that's not the point. Let me ask you something. Do you want to have sex with Jack?" Shannon asked looking closely at her friend's reaction.

"No", Kate said seriously,"I want to make love with him".

"Good" said Shannon beaming. "You have plans for tonight?"

"Yeah. He invited me to his place to watch a movie" Kate said.

"Well I can tell you this. You're definitely not gonna see the end of this movie" Shannon said smiling wickedly.

"Why not?" asked Kate.

"Let's just say you'll be…preoccupied."

"What time are you leaving?" asked Jack for the fifth time.

"If i didn't know any better I'd say you're throwing us out of the house, son" Margo said while fixing her hair.

"I'm not…I just…I'm just asking" Jack said hurriedly.

"Of course you are" Margo said smiling putting on her diamond earrings.

Unsatisfied by his mother's answer, Jack left her bedroom, going downstairs to his father's office.

"Hey dad when…?" he started but his dad beat him to it.

"I'm ready, I'm just waiting for your mother. Can you believe how long women take to get ready?" Christian asked exasperated.

"Haven't had such problems yet." Jack said.

"You're lucky" Christian sighed. "So why the anxiousness about our leaving, son?"

"No reason I just…"

"Aaaahhh it's a girl" Christian realized.

"No no no no…I'm…I haven't…." Jack mumbled quickly trying to explain. Or lie.

"It's fine, Jack. Just don't take too many steps at once" Christian commented.

"What are you talking about?" Jack said blushing furiously.

"If the girl who's coming is the one I think it is, try to take it slowly, will you?" Christian advised a very embarrassed Jack.

"How…how did you know it was…?"

"Kate? Son, I may not have been around here for a long time but I know when my son's in love. And the way you're fidgeting and stumbling on your words just screams it's Kate." Christian laughed. "But don't worry I won't tell your mother" he added smiling.

"Uh…thanks dad…I guess" Jack said.

"Christian!!!" Margo yelled from the living room, apparently ready to leave.

"Oh dad. Where are you taking her?" Jack asked curiously.

"Her favorite restaurant" Christian said smiling, leaving the room.

A few seconds later Jack heard the door closing, meaning his parents were finally gone. Running around the house like a mad man, he tidied anything he could until he heard the doorbell. Taking a deep breath and saying to himself to just be cool, he went to the door.

"Hi" Kate said nervously once Jack had opened the door, stepping in.

"Hey" he said and reached over to peck her on the lips, making her smile at the casual way he did it. It was like they were a couple since…forever.

"Want something to drink?" asked Jack as they sat on the couch in the living room.

"No. I'm good" smiled Kate, pulling out of her bag the dvd she had brought for them to watch.

"Oh Kate, not again!" Jack grimaced.

"Oh come on! You know you love it!" Kate teased.

"I don't love it! I haven't even watched it!" Jack complained.

"Exactly! How can you hate it when you don't even know what it is about?" Kate said.

"I know the reason girls show it to guys" Jack said as a matter of fact.

"Oh and why is that?" Kate laughed.

"You want us to get all vulnerable and weepy so that you can do whatever you want with us later" Jack said.

"And would that be a bad thing?" Kate asked seductively.

Jack froze.

"Uh…you're not gonna notebook me, Kate" Jack said in a deep voice, her attempt of seduction making him shiver and forget what they were talking about in the first place.

"Please Jack-Jack…" Kate said doing the irresistible puppy dog eyes, calling him Jack-Jack, like she used to when they were younger.

"Fine" he gave in. "But you're not gonna accuse me of being a crybaby once it's over" he warned.

"Promise" Kate said smiling.

They sat together on the couch, Kate slowly leaning on him, putting her head on his shoulder. After a while he put his arm around her, bringing her even closer, wanting to smell her intoxicating hair. Kate sighed in happiness at the comfortable position they were in, feeling as they belonged there, in each others arms.

The notebook was Kate's favorite movie, but Jack was always denying watching it, saying it was too emotional for him. Today though it was special. He didn't want to fight with her over a stupid movie, and truth be told he was kinda enjoying it.

It was a little after the half of the movie when Kate remembered Shannon's words. It was time to act.

Slowly she started caressing his arm that was wrapped around her shoulders. She connected their hands and kissed the outside of his palm, lingering, wanting to make sure he realized her intentions. She steadily brought up her head, looking at him, realizing he wasn't watching the movie but staring at her.

She smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him. He didn't back off though, but kept kissing her, full on the lips. She brought her hand slowly over his stomach and hugged him, kissing him all the while. He gently opened her mouth with his tongue and deepened the kiss needing to taste her, to feel her against him.

Their tongues dueled, caressed and fought for control while their hands traveled on each other's body. Kate slowly drove her hand inside Jack's shirt caressing his slightly-hair-covered chest. He on the other hand buried his hand inside her dark locks, tilting her head to the side to have better access to the inner of her mouth.

The movie was forgotten. All that could be heard were their soft moans and sighs as they gave in the pleasure of tasting each other. They fell back onto the couch, with Jack on top of Kate holding the back of her head, not wanting to separate so fast.

Kate, taking the needed courage, she grabbed the hem of his shirt and slowly she lifted it over his head, exposing his well-built chest. She brought her hands on his bare back and scratched him lightly making him groan in pleasure. He took hold of her waist and gently caressed her stomach under her shirt but didn't dare to take it off. What if she wasn't ready? What if she thought he was pushing her? What if she ran?

Realizing he was scared of her reaction, Kate took matters in her own hands. Grabbing the hem of her shirt she pulled it over her head, breaking the kiss and watching amused at Jack's unsure but hungry eyes. She tried to make eye contact with him but he was busy looking at her bra-covered chest. He finally bent over and kissed her neck, then her collarbone and then to her pleasure her upper chest, making her arc her back towards him. She moaned loudly but when he brought his face up to look at her his eyes told her he wasn't sure. He wasn't ready.

They looked unsurely at each other until Kate, feeling embarrassed and a little hurt reached over to grab her shirt.

"Kate…" he whispered but she couldn't look at him. She thought he wanted her, she thought he was feeling the same, she thought…Tears flooded her eyes and she did her best to hide them from Jack.

"Kate stop" he said grabbing her hand and turning her to look at him. Realizing she was crying, guilt overtook him. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Kate, listen to me…" he started.

"It's okay Jack" she said faking a smile and wiping the tears away. "I just thought…you wanted me…" she trailed off as the tears kept falling. She stood up quickly and went to the door but Jack pulled her back to him.

"You've no idea how much I want you right now, Kate" he said making her look at him. "But I don't want this to be like this" he pleaded with her to understand.

"I don't care how…" Kate started.

"Yes you do Kate. You might think that you're ready but you're not. Your body said yes but your eyes said no. It's only been two days Kate." Jack explained.

"But…but… I thought…" Kate trailed off not knowing how to explain to him she was afraid of losing him.

"I know what you thought Kate. Guys tend to be a bit impatient about it but I'm not that kind of guy, Kate. I don't care when we're gonna make love, but I do care whether we'll be ready or not." he explained wiping away the rest of her tears.

She looked up at him, so innocent and vulnerable, that made his heart melt.

"Ok" she said in a small voice.

"Good" Jack smiled and pulled her into a deep hug. "You'll see. When the time is right, we'll both know it. And it'll be amazing."


	20. Like a dream

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews. They're much appreciated! Here's the next chapter! Hope you'll enjoy it... :-)  
**

**Chapter 20**

"So, how did you like it?"

"It… it wasn't bad…it was ok…"

"Oh cut the crap, I know you loved it!" Kate said laughing at Jack.

They had just finished watching The Notebook and Kate couldn't stop teasing him about it.

"I didn't say I hate it, just that I find it…good…" he said.

"I saw your eyes watering!" she exclaimed laughing.

"That's because I was yawning all the time!" Jack explained smartly.

"Just admit it! I notebooked you and you liked it!" Kate said while sitting on his lap to make him give in to her easier. She sat sideways on him and wrapped her arms around him, bringing their faces so close that their noses touched.

"Fine" he said sighing, realizing it was pointless to resist her anymore. She had him wrapped around her little finger and truth be told he kinda enjoyed it.

"I knew it!" she squealed only to get silenced by his lips. He kissed her forcefully but gently at the same time. That's what she loved about him. He could be such a guy sometimes but he never stopped acting like a gentleman, always taking care of her.

Jack realized her mind was wandering so he backed off, concerned she'd changed her mind.

"What's wrong?" he asked, trying his best to hide his insecurity.

"Nothing I just… it's nothing, you'll think I'm stupid" she trailed off laughing.

"Hey" he said turning her head to look at him, "you can tell me anything".

"I just…Sometimes I feel like…I love you so much that my heart is gonna explode" she said in a small voice, blushing furiously.

He smiled at how innocent she was and wondered what he did to deserve a girl like her. She was like…a dream. A dream you never want to wake up from. A dream that makes you wish you could fall asleep again and have the same intoxicating dream. A dream that now belonged to him.

He brought his hand up and lifted her chin, making her look at him. He kissed her softly and then said "I'd feel the exact same thing but I can't".

Kate's face fell and she started getting off of him but he didn't let her. He brought her face to look at him again, staring back at her seriously, to make her realize he wasn't kidding.

"That's because my heart belongs to you. It always has. And you can do whatever you want with it" he added, taking notice of how her eyes lightened with happiness, and her cheeks turned a shade of pink.

She crashed her mouth against his, feeling the love for him and the love he had for her consuming her body. She was in a state of absolute bliss and she thought of crying but decided against it since she'd already spent too many tears. Ending the kiss, she hugged him burying her face in the crook of his neck.

Their moment though was interrupted by a sudden shrill.

"Finally!!!" Jack's mother squealed at the sight in front of her.

Kate quickly jumped off Jack's legs but it was too late. Jack got up as fast as she did, trying to hide the guilty look from his face.

"Hi…mom…dad… You're home…early." he said nervously.

"Thank God cause I have a feeling you were gonna keep it a secret for a long time!" Margo scowled.

"What…what do you mean?" Jack asked innocently, making Kate roll her eyes at his insistence to play dumb.

"I won't even bother to answer that" Margo said firmly. "Kate, dear, how are you?" she asked smiling politely.

"I'm very well, thank you, Mrs Shepard" Kate said in a small voice.

"Well why don't we go upstairs to give them some privacy?" Christian asked gently his wife, watching the two teenagers ready to collapse from the embarrassment.

"You knew about this?" Margo accused, taking note of his non-surprised attitude.

"Kinda…but that's not the point." Christian defended himself.

"We'll talk about it later" Margo said through gritted teeth to her husband.

"I should…go" Kate said nervously.

"No!" Jack said quickly, turning to look at her, his eyes pleading for her to stay.

"It's okay honey" Margo said smiling at her. "You know you're always welcome here. We'll just go upstairs" she added.

Once they were gone Jack let out a big sigh while sitting back on the couch.

"Wow. That was a really big sigh" Kate said sitting down too.

"Well, we are in deep shit" he said, running his hand through his short-cut hair.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked confused. "We weren't doing anything"

"Just the fact that we're together means trouble. Knowing my mom, by tomorrow afternoon all the Shepard family will have been informed about my current girlfriend. And the fact that most of them actually know who you are, is not gonna help" he said miserably.

"Relax lover boy" Kate teased laughing.

"You're not worried?" he asked surprised, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Why should I be?" she asked. "I want people to know that you're mine and you're off the market for good." she said smartly.

"Aaahhh I knew there was an ulterior motive behind your calmness" he said, and grabbed her wanting to tickle her till she begged for mercy.

* * *

"Arg…MOM!" Jack whined, hiding his face under the covers from the sun that crept through the window that his mother just opened.

"It's time you woke up!" she said.

"It's Sunday!" he complained.

"And I'm your mother but you didn't bother telling me about you and Kate" she said as a matter of fact.

"Come on mom…I was gonna tell you…I just…" he trailed off.

"All right" she said sitting by the side of his bed. "You can tell me everything now" she said smiling.

Sighing, he decided there was no way in hell he could get away from this.

"We just decided…to try this…thing…out and see if it works." he said.

"You mean…that you're dating now, right?" Margo asked confused.

"Yeah" he said softly, watching carefully his mother's expression.

And suddenly she was hugging him and kissing his face.

"Mom!" Jack whined, trying to get away from her.

"I'm so happy for you!" Margo said emotionally, finally releasing him from her arms. "I always thought you were meant to be together!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on" he said holding up his hand. "We're just dating. We're not getting married" he warned.

"I know you're not but…" his mother continued in the same cheerful tone.

"No, mom, listen to me carefully. We're only seventeen years old and we're just dating." he said pronouncing every word clearly to make her realize the importance of what he was saying. "There's no reason for you to call grandma and grandpa to tell them about it."

"I wasn't going to…"

"Yes you were." Jack said warningly. "And now promise me you're not gonna tell anyone about it"

"I won't lie for you if that's…" Margo started but Jack cut her off.

"I'm not asking you to lie for me, mom. I'm just asking you to keep it in low profile until we get used to…being a couple." Jack explained.

Margo seemed thoughtful for a few seconds but she finally nodded.

"Okay son" she said "but…I uh…I've already told someone" she added apologetically.

"Who?"

"Kate's mom"

"Crap"

* * *

"So? Anything you wanted to tell me about?" Diane asked her daughter as they were both sitting at the table, eating breakfast.

Kate gulped "What do you mean?" she asked innocently.

"Oh I don't know… Maybe the fact that you and Jack are together?" she said looking at her daughter.

"What?" she gasped. "How do you…how did you…Huh?"

"Margo told me." Diane explained, "even though I realized something was up after the incident of you and Shannon screaming over a test" she scolded.

"I'm sorry mom…" Kate apologized looking down.

"Baby, I don't want you to apologize. You did nothing wrong." Diane said smiling. "I wish though you had told me sooner about it but never mind."

"I know I just wanted to be sure, you know?" Kate said.

"And are you?" Diane asked.

"What?" Kate asked confused.

"Sure?"

Thinking about it for a few seconds she made up her mind. "Yeah. I think I am" she said smiling.

"I'm happy for you but I think it's time we had THE conversation" Diane said.

"What conversation?" Kate asked.

"The one that mothers have with their daughters when they decide to take the final step" Diane said, amused by Kate's reaction. She blushed furiously, her face turning into a deep shade of red.

"I…uh…I'm…do we have to?" she asked looking down.

"Yeah, I think we do." Diane said softly. "Come on Kate, I don't want to embarrass you so I'll just get it over with"

"Okay" Kate whispered.

"I know you have never been with a…a guy before, and that's why I think it's important we have this conversation." Diane said.

Kate didn't say anything so she continued.

"You are a very mature girl and I'm proud for that. I also know Jack is a great guy and that he respects you enough not to pressure you."

"He has never…" Kate started to defend her boyfriend but her mom cut her off.

"I know, Kate. And I know he'll never do anything to hurt you, at least not on purpose. But that's not what I'm trying to say. I just want you to believe in yourself and trust that Jack will be with you no matter what. You should never ever change yourself for a guy, no matter who he is, or do something you'll regret just so you could make someone else happy. You're a wonderful person, Kate Austen, and you should never let anyone tell you otherwise." Diane ended her speech, caressing her daughter's cheek.

Kate didn't say anything. She was touched by her mother's speech, feeling her love for her increase at her beautiful words. She had a feeling that her mother was speaking out of experience. She realized her mother must have done something during her youth that she regretted doing, that's why she was all serious and emotional over this. Kate thought of asking her about it but decided it would only bring tears to her face. So she just hugged her, wanting to express her love with this hug.

Their moment however got interrupted by the bell.

"Are you expecting someone?" Diane asked her daughter.

"None that I know of." Kate said, standing up to go open it.

What she faced though, once she opened the door, took her completely by surprise. There stood the one person she thought she'd never see again.

"Dad?"


	21. Wanna play?

**Hello guys! Thanks for the reviews :-) Enjoy...**

_**Warning: Some sexuality **_

**Chapter 21**

"Daddy?" Kate repeated not believing her eyes.

"Hey Katie" Sam Austen smiled warmly at his daughter, reaching out for her and taking her into a big hug. Kate immediately buried her face in her father's chest, hugging him back with need and love.

"I missed you so much, daddy" she whispered, looking up to him, seeing his eyes full of tears.

"I missed you too, Katie. More than you know" he said and hugged her once again.

Sam Austen had been gone for almost a year. He and Diane couldn't get along any more and decided to get a divorce. Kate was devastated at first but with Jack's care and comfort and her parents' reassurance that they would always be there for her, she got over it. But then her father was offered a great job in the military but too far away from his daughter. After a lot of talk and debate he accepted it.

Kate was happy for her dad, it was a great opportunity for him. But the certain job, meant no time for her. He would always travel, stay away and always be busy. But Kate realized her dad really wanted that job and she had no interest in keeping him away from his dream. So she accepted it too and managed to look happy when she was waving him goodbye.

Jack was always by her side, comforting her and telling her everything would be okay. She didn't see her dad, or talk to him, but she got his letters and sent him some too. That was their relationship for the past year. She wasn't complaining, after all she had a great mother but she wished she could spend some time with her father too. In the end she was daddy's little girl.

And now, out of nowhere, her dad surprised her by coming to visit her. Or at least she thought that's why he had come.

He came in the house, unwrapping his arms from around Kate, taking a look at the house which used to be his as well. His eyes wandered around the house and finally stopped on Diane. She was smiling, a confused smile, which meant to Kate that her mother didn't know about his coming either.

"Hello Diane" Sam said gently, not too cold but not too warm either.

"Hello Sam" Diane replied in the same tone. "How have you been?" she asked politely.

"I've been great" Sam replied. "Look I'm sorry I didn't call to tell you I was coming but I didn't know for sure if I could make it and I didn't want to disapoint you if something went wrong" he explained.

"It's okay, dad" Kate said beaming. She had missed her father so much, that nothing could make her upset or angry at the moment.

"Katie could you…leave us for a while?" Diane asked gently her daughter, looking straight at Sam.

Kate looked confused for a moment. "But ma…" she started to complain.

"It's okay Katie." Sam said, "I'll be here when you come back"

Kate looked at him, worried he was lying, but then she saw her mother's serious face and decided it was best for her to leave.

"Ok then, I'll be at Jack's" she said and turn to leave.

"Oh how is he, by the way?" Sam asked her. He knew Jack since he was a little boy, always fooling around with his daughter and always taking care of her.

Kate froze for a moment, not really sure whether to tell her dad about her relationship with Jack or not. She knew her dad liked Jack but that didn't mean he would be ok with her daughter having a boyfriend and all. He wasn't a dictator or anything, just very overprotective. Fortunately her mother popped in.

"He's very good actually" Diane said with a knowing smile that didn't go unnoticed by Sam.

Kate though, feeling her cheeks turning a deep shade of red, decided not to elaborate on the subject and leave before dangerous questions were asked.

Once she was gone Sam turned curiously to Diane. " Did they finally realize their feelings for each other or are they still fooling themselves with the whole friendship thing?"

"Hello Mrs Shepard" Kate said politely when Margo opened the door to let her in.

"Hello dear. How are you today?" Margo asked smiling at her.

"I'm great actually. Dad's back!" Kate said beaming.

"Sam? Really? Oh that's great honey!" Margo said excitedly. She knew Sam Austen and she was very fond of him. They used to meet up with the Austens when the kids were younger and when the parents were not that busy.

"I know! Uh…is Jack upstairs?" Kate asked.

"Yeah hun." Margo said and left for the kitchen.

Kate literally jumped all the way upstairs, flooding with excitement. She didn't bother knocking on his door and was soon in front of a very naked Jack.

She froze.

There stood Jack, naked, with his back turned to her, oblivious of her arrival. She didn't speak, she just stared at his tight and beautiful…

"Kate!" Jack gasped, eyes widening, hands trying in vain to cover himself. Kate's eyes were now fixed on what he was trying to hide and he could feel his whole body turning red from embarrassment. He looked down and spotted the towel he had used when he got out of the shower and quickly put it around him.

Silence.

"Oh God. I'm sorry…i…i…am…uh….God…I should….oh…i…" Kate mumbled while shaking her head, blushing furiously. She kept looking on the floor, not daring to look at him.

Jack laughed out loud at the fact that he was the one caught literally with his pants down but she was the one embarrassed to the bone.

"It's okay" he said grinning. She was so adorable when she was embarrassed and even more when she was blushing. He reached out for her and wrapped his arms around her, nudging her face with his nose to look up. Finally she did and he smiled to reassure her everything was cool.

He bent down and kissed her lightly on her lips but backed off when he sensed her nervousness.

"Why are you nervous?" he asked laughing, caressing the side of her face.

"Dunno" she said in a small voice, avoiding eye contact.

To her surprise, Jack suddenly picked her up wrapping her legs around his waist, and sat them on the bed. She let out a yelp but she was silenced by his lips crashing passionately against hers. After a few seconds she relaxed and opened her mouth to him, allowing his tongue to caress hers. His hands gripped her more firmly and brought her even closer so that his chest collided with hers leaving no air in between.

With a sudden movement he quickly brought her down on the bed with him on top of her. Their mouths still entangled, tongues caressing each other. Kate's legs were now wrapped around his waist, keeping him connected with her. Their hands started the all too familiar journey across each other's body, exploring and feeling. Pulling away from her mouth, Jack trailed wet kisses along her neck and collarbone, causing Kate to let out a long moan. He smiled, happy to make her feel the way she made him feel every time she touched him, and pulled away.

She let out a disappointed whimper and pouted much to Jack's amusement.

"I thought we said we'd take it slowly" Jack said kissing her nose but not moving off of her.

"Yeah well, when you do such things to me I'm not really responsible for my actions" she teased, pecking him on the lips.

"I can't help it. You're irresistible!" he said smiling at her blushing face. "And when you are all embarrassed and blushing all I want is to devour you. So it's not really my fault either." he said and kissed her again.

She kissed him back, giggling in his mouth and bringing her hands up, inside his shirt. He drew a deep breath at the sudden feeling and looked up too see her smiling victoriously.

"Oh you wanna play?" he whispered teasingly, while trying not to lose control by the way her hands explored his back and went lower and lower.

Her reply was a daring smile, challenging him to do better.

He pulled away from her only to bring his face above her crotch. She stopped breathing and looked at him with wide eyes, only to see him smiling from ear to ear. He slowly lifted her shirt and started kissing the exposed skin. He kissed her first just above the button of her pants eliciting a moan out of her. He kept kissing all the way up, using his tongue to make it more pleasurable. By now Kate was panting with closed eyes, hanging for dear life.

Jack kept lifting her shirt, his mouth following, until he reached her chest. He stopped for a brief second, debating with himself whether to keep going or not, but his logic didn't matter any more. His passion was banging on the walls of his intoxicating mind. With one swift movement he got rid of her shirt and immediately attacked her bra-covered chest.

Her hands went to grab his head, not to push him away but to encourage him to continue. She wasn't thinking, she couldn't actually. All thoughts were stuck in the back of her head, giving space to the impulsive and passionate feelings of hers. She arched her back towards him and he trailed soft and wet kisses in the space between her breasts.

He was starting to lose control, he realized. She was so intoxicating that only by touching her he was ready to explode. Kissing all his way up, from her breasts to her neck and then finally back up to her lips, he slowly and unwillingly pulled away. He didn't get off of her though, just kept staring at her, aroused and amused at the same time.

Her eyes were tightly closed, her mouth slightly open and her breathing was feverish. She was panting furiously and she was gripping with both her hands the sheet underneath her. He thought of teasing her about it but he was not better himself. His breathing was quick and not normal, his hands trembling trying to regain control and his pants were suddenly extremely tight.

Once he got it together, at least a bit, he nudged her nose with his own, making her look at him. She looked up at him, with fear and confusion in her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay" Jack reassured her, smiling gently at her.

"Jack…" she breathed, "I…I'm…I feel like…I don't…I can't…what…what is this feeling…?" She asked between deep breaths.

"This is the way you make me feel every time you touch me, every time you kiss me, every time you smile at me." he whispered sweetly, kissing her softly.

"But…how…how can you stand it?" she asked innocently making him laugh.

"Let's just say I have had a lot of cold showers the last few days"

"So what's really going on, Sam?" Diane asked as they sat on the couch in the living-room.

"I…uh…forgive me for not informing you first but I didn't…" he started.

"Yeah, I know. But what's the real reason you came here? I know you, don't forget that" Diane warned him, waiting for the truth.

Sam sighed miserably.

"I need to…I came here to ask you…if Kate with me…"

"What?" Diane gasped.

"Not permanently just… for a few months…a year maybe…" Sam said.

"Are you crazy?" Diane asked baffled.

"No I just… I miss her Diane…I can't…" he pleaded with her.

"So you want to take her away from me?" Diane asked.

"I'm not taking her away from you. It's just for a while." Sam explained.

"What about her school, Sam? Did you think of that?" Diane demanded, getting angrier by the minute.

"Yes Diane. I have it all figured out. I wouldn't suggest something like that if I didn't make sure it was for her own good."

"How the hell it's good for her to leave behind all that she loves, all her life?" Diane said, raising her voice.

"She will come back, Diane. She'll be transferred temporarily to another school, but she'll come back eventually."

"It's her last year in school Sam. She has her friends! Do you think she'll give it all up?" Diane asked angrily.

"Her true friends will wait for her" Sam said softly.

"How can you say this? How can you do this now?" Diane yelled, getting up too frustrated to deal with him any more.

"I'm doing this for her, Diane. Please understand. She needs her father, she needs to spend time with him." Sam said, getting up to.

Diane was silent. She was thinking, thinking hard of what to do. Should she deny? What would Kate say? What if she left and never came back? What if she got mad at her for pushing away her father?

"This is not my choice to make" she said finally. "I'm not gonna tell her what to do or what not to. She's a big girl now and she'll decide what's best for her. I'm not gonna stand between the two of you but I won't let you take her unwillingly." she warned.

"Take whom unwillingly?" Kate asked confused, appearing out of nowhere, surprising them.

No one spoke.

"What is going on?" she demanded.


	22. Ready

_**A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay! I had some family issues that really took my time. Anyway, here's the next chapter... :-)**_

**Warning: Some sexuality (Nothing major) **

**Chapter 22**

"You're okay with this?" a surprised Kate asked her mother once Sam had told her about him wanting her to move with him.

"This is not my choice to make, Kate. I'm not very fond of the idea but I won't object if you decide to go with your father" Diane said calmly.

"Katie I know this is sudden and I guess a little uncomfortable…" Sam started.

"Uncomfortable? You think this is uncomfortable? Let me tell you what this really is. It's mental!" Kate said raising her voice.

"I know you have your life here Katie, but it will all be here for you when you return…" Sam tried to explain.

"Exactly dad. This is my life and I don't care if it'll still be here cause I'm not going anywhere." Kate snapped.

"Katie, don't say that just yet. Think about it for…" Sam objected.

"Think about what, dad? How I am gonna spend my last year in high-school at a strange and foreign school? How I will have no friends there? How I am gonna be away from my mom, my friends and Jack?" Kate said angrily. She was starting to regret her father's visit by the moment.

"Honey, no one is forcing you to…" Diane started.

"Yes you are! I can't believe you're doing this to me" she said looking at Sam.

"Katie…"

"If I come I'm gonna lose all my friends but if I don't I'm gonna lose my dad, right?" she said feeling tears coming up to her eyes.

"You're not gonna lose anyone, Katie. I just…"

"You just what? You come into my life and demand that I come with you."

"I'm not demanding anything. If you don't…"

"Yes you are! Cause if I don't come I'm gonna feel guilty for the rest of my life but if I do I'm gonna lose everything that I love! Way to go, daddy!" she said and with that she left running towards her bedroom.

* * *

"Shh Kate. It's okay. Calm down." Shannon tried to reassure a sobbing Kate, caressing her back.

"How can they do this to me?" Kate cried, her voice coming out muffled since her face was buried in her pillow. "Why now?"

"It's okay Kate. You don't have to go." Shannon said sweetly.

"Yeah but dad will be mad at me and…"

"No he won't be Kate. I'm sure he knows how much all this means to you." said Shannon.

"No he doesn't, otherwise he wouldn't have asked me to go with him in the first place" Kate said stubbornly.

"Did he tell you why he wants you to move in with him?" asked Shannon.

"He said he misses me but I don't know if I believe him" Kate said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?" asked Shannon.

"I just felt like… he was hiding something from me… like he wasn't telling me everything." Kate replied.

"Why don't you ask him?"

"What makes you think he's gonna tell me the truth this time?" Kate said lifting her head from the pillow and turning to lie on her back looking up at Shannon who was sitting on the side of her bed. "Besides, I'm just speculating. I don't know for sure whether he's hiding something or not."

A knock on the door interrupted them and Kate quickly wiped away the remaining tears.

"Come in" she yelled.

Jack slowly appeared, smiling obviously oblivious to the drama that had occurred not too long ago.

"Hey" he said looking at Shannon and then at Kate. A worried expression appeared on his face, realizing something was wrong.

"Hi lover boy" Shannon said cheekily. "We were just talking about your impressive performance in you-know-what" she teased winking at him.

"Oh" Jack said, blushing furiously, redenning from head to toe, feeling like he was gonna pass out from the embarrassment.

"What?" Kate gasped, slapping her friend's arm who was laughing hysterically at Jack's embarrassment. "No we weren't!" She squealed, turning a deep shade of red, not daring to look at Jack.

"Aww don't worry Kate. I'm sure Jack and Sayid have spent enough time talking about such things" Shannon tried to reassure her only to make her gasp in shock.

"You do?" she asked terrified, looking straight at Jack.

"What? No, of course not. No, absolutely not. Nope" he said frantically, the subject clearly making him uncomfortable.

Shannon giggled in response, and stood up. "I think it's time for me to go. At least before you two pass out to avoid more embarrassement" she teased and left, closing the door behind her, leaving the two of them alone.

"So" Kate said.

"So" Jack said.

"We really weren't talking about…that" Kate said awkwardly, looking at her hands, sitting up slightly.

"Okay" Jack said softly.

"My dad's back" she said.

Noticing her tone and her lack of enthusiasm Jack sat down next to her.

"Why the long face then?" he asked.

"He asked me to go live with him in Canada" she said without looking at him.

His heart grew colder and finally turned to stone. Hiding his shock and his desperation behind his bravest mask he asked "And?"

Looking at him strangely she asked "And what?"

"What are you gonna do?" he asked softly, not looking at her, afraid of being told that she was gonna leave him.

Realizing what Jack must be thinking she sat up and kissed him hard on the mouth, feeling both sad for him and flattered.

After a few seconds of heavy petting she drew back and told him teasingly "How could I leave you here alone with all the crazy chicks flirting with you?"

He laughed lightly but still he looked uncertain.

"Seriously? I mean he's your dad. Don't you wanna go with him?" he asked cursing himself for giving her reasons to go away. Of course he didn't want her to go, actually he'd die if she left, but he felt that he had to at least give her dad a chance.

"Seriously. I can't even comprehend why dad would ask something like this from me" she said shaking her head and lying back down, putting her head on the pillow.

"Didn't he tell you the reason?" he asked, trailing his hand across her stomach, doing circles with his fingers.

"Kinda" she breathed out not really focusing on her words, his fingers making her forget all about her dad and generally making her unable of thinking. She drew a deep breath when his hand went inside her shirt going higher and higher.

Watching her react to him like this, he smiled in satisfaction and stopped his hand's movements, wanting to tease her a bit more. He watched amused how she pouted and wasn't very surprised when she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and brought him on top of her.

"A little impatient Austen, are we?" he teased, bringing his lips almost on hers, but then backing off.

"It's your fault, Shephard" she accused still pulling him towards her. "Now kiss me before I go mad"

"Before?" He laughed only to be forced to lie down on his back as Kate climbed on top of him. He gasped in surprise, and let out a groan as she pushed herself on him.

She smiled wickedly and straddled his torso, knowing he was at her mercy now.

"Not very confident now, Shephard, are we?" she teased, running her hands slowly over his shirt-covered chest. She bent slighlty towards him, amused by his full-of shock face and attached her lips to his neck, kissing and nibbling.

He let out a tiny moan, feeling his body surrendering to her but not wanting to admit defeat just yet. He brought his hands and grabbed her sides, deciding this game was for two. He seductively caressed her, enough to make her tremble. She didn't stop though, but continued kissing his neck making sure to mark him before she was done. She wasn't the possessive type of girl but she couldn't help thinking Juliet's reaction to the hickie.

She slowly brought her lips up to his face, kissed his cheek, his forehead, his eyes and then his mouth making sure she took a deep breath in order to keep going till the need for breath would be absolutely necessary. Their tongues didn't take long before they started dueling, seeking for access. Moans and sighs could be heard, the fight over control forgotten.

She now lay fully on top of him, her hands on either side of his head. His on the other hand didn't seem to be able to stop touching and caressing her. They were in her dark hair, on the back of her neck, then on her back traveling up and down, and finally they were inside her shirt, taking her breath away.

His hands reached the clasp of her bra. She let out a whimper, wanting to let him know she wasn't going to object. He played with the clasp for a few seconds but at the last time he retrieved his hands and stopped kissing her.

"I think we should stop" He said, not really wanting to, but knowing that if they kept this up he was gonna lose his mind. Little more of Kate's sighs and moans and Jack's self control would snap. And even though it didn't seem such a bad idea right now he knew that this was not the place and not the time.

"Why?" She breathed out, attacking her lips to his neck, refusing to back off.

He let out a tortured groan, only to be silenced by Kate's kiss, taking his breath away. Her lips were rough and demanding, making Jack lose all his inhibitions. He pulled quickly her shirt off of her and buried his hands in her dark curls, tilting her head to the side to have better access. She moaned loudly which made Jack burn with desire.

With one swift movement he had her on her back with him hovering on top of her. He pulled back from the kiss to take a look at her and that's when he stopped. Her lips were red from all the kissing begging for more, her eyes were dilated form desire, her breathing fast and heavy. She looked so innocent, and yet so passionate, he had a hard time containing himself. He could feel her bra-covered breasts moving up and down rapidly, matching the rhythm of her panting, which only made it more difficult for him to end it.

"We really need to stop" He said, looking seriously at her, pleading with her to understand the reason he couldn't just keep going.

"But I don't want you to stop, Jack" she whispered softly, bringing her hands up, to caress the back of his neck.

"Kate…" he started.

"I'm ready Jack" she cut him off. She looked at him, certain and sure this time, her eyes telling him she really was ready. "I want you to make love to me" she said softly. "I need you to make love to me" she continued without breaking eye-contact.

He looked at her, doubt and uncertainty in his eyes. She smiled at him in response, proving to him she meant every word. Feeling his insides dancing mambo, he smiled too, realizing they were both ready for the next step. However, the fact that they were ready to make love, didn't mean that it was now or never.

"Okay" he said softly, watching as the girl of his dreams smiled widely at him, and hating himself for what he was gonna say next. "But not here, not now"

The smile disappeared from her face, a pout taking its place. She started to object but he was faster.

"Listen to me Kate" he said cutting her off. "I want you more than anything right now, but I also want our first time to be special."

"It is, Jack…" she started but he continued.

"I don't want us to be afraid that someone might walk in to us, or that someone might hear us. I want it to be just us, somewhere quiet, romantic and perfect."

She looked at him, slowly realizing what he meant. She too wanted it to be perfect, but she was starting to crave him by the day. Watching her face, he saw now that she understood and bent down to nuzzle her neck with his nose.

"Besides, I'd really hate it if your dad threw me out of the window" he said, making her laugh.

"He likes you, Jack" she said as a matter of fact.

"Yeah well he won't, once he finds me on top of his almost naked daughter" he teased making her blush.

Slowly and unwillingly, he got off of her, sitting up. She reached for her shirt that was lying on the floor, and put it on. He looked at her, amused by the way she looked. Her face, flustered and a light shade of pink, her hair wild and messed. She looked up at him and caught him staring.

"What are you looking at?" she said raising an eyebrow.

"You're cute, you know that?" he said, reaching out for her and pecking her on the lips.

"You're not so bad yourself" she replied, smiling.

Standing up, ready to leave, he said "I'll I pick you up tomorrow"

"What's tomorrow?" she asked confused, frowning a little.

"School, remember?" he said and kissed he once more before heading out.

Going down the stairs, Jack could hear faint voices from the living room. He went closer and now he could hear clearly Diane and Sam talking.

"I'm telling you I just need to spend some time with her…"

"Yeah, but why all of a sudden? Something's wrong, isn't it?" Diane said.

"Nothing's wrong Diane. I just…"

"Sam we may have been separated but you're not gonna fool me." she warned.

There was an acute silence and then Sam started talking.

"I was offered a job, a really good one. Not for now, I have to wait for another year."

"So? That's great" Diane said confused.

"It's not a simple job, Diane. It's more like a mission" he sighed.

Realization struck Diane and she brought her hand in front of her mouth.

"You're not coming back are you?" she gasped.

"No…nothing's sure. It's just…it is possible I won't come back."

They stayed silent for a few seconds until Diane spoke again.

"Are you gonna tell Kate?" she asked.

"No. I don't want her to come with me out of guilt or because she feels sorry for me" he said.

"She's not gonna come Sam" Diane said as a matter of fact.

"I know Diane." he said miserably. "I know"

An akward silence followed, both parents lost in their thoughts, oblivious that Jack Shephard had heard their conversation.

_**Someone asked me how many chapters more i'm gonna write. Well i don't know exactly but i'm far from done with this story. The truth is i've figured out how i am gonna end the story but there is much that's unsaid. So no worries. And one more thing. Since i'm not from the US or the UK i have no idea how american or english schools work. I mean my school is completely different from yours, so if anyone is kind enough to pm me and give me some details about stuff like Prom or exams, i would much appreciate it. Hugs :-) **_


	23. I'll just go

Chapter 23

-_Do you know what's wrong with Jack?_

_-You're his girlfriend, not me. Why do you ask?_

_-Dunno. Seems like he's not in a good mood._

_-Well, as long as you're not giving him dessert, I can't blame him…_

_-SHANNON!!! I told you we're waiting for the right moment…_

_-Beats me. Sayid and I have found many right moments the last couple of days…_

Kate turned to look at Shannon incredulously. Shannon bit back a smile, pretending to find Mr Artz's lesson interesting. Kate let out a tiny giggle that didn't go unnoticed by Mr Artz.

"Do you mind sharing the funny story that's making you giggle, Miss Austen?" Mr Artz bellowed, looking straight at Kate.

"Uh…hm…I'm sorry. I just…remembered something funny." Kate muttered lowering her head.

"I'd rather you didn't have flash-backs in my classroom Miss Austen." Mr Artz said shiftly and turned towards the blackboard once again.

Kate didn't say a word but turned to catch a glimpse of Jack, who was sitting with Charlie. He looked like he wasn't in the classroom, totally lost. What was wrong with him? He hadn't said anything to her, other than a good-morning and a kiss on her cheek.

Yesterday, he seemed much happier. She remembered the glimmer in his eyes when she told him she was ready to take the next step with him. She remembered how he tensed in anticipation and how sweaty he got trying to contain himself. He seemed to have wanted her. Was there a possibility he had changed his mind? Did he want to break up with her?

The bell interrupted her thoughts. She quickly picked up her stuff and went over to Jack, who didn't look up at her while gathering his things.

"Hey" she said softly, making him snap his head up, towards her.

"Hey" he replied, a little too emotionless for Kate's liking.

"Wanna come to my place? My mom's at work and I'm sure my father won't mind" she said watching closely his reaction.

A spark of fear and something else she didn't recognize passed from his eyes but it was quickly gone. His face now was unreadable.

"I…uh…I can't. I've got loads of homework for tomorrow" he said avoiding eye contact.

Having hidden well her disappointment she said "It's okay. Let's just walk."

He didn't seem to like that either but he just nodded his head in agreement.

After a good five minutes they were out of the school gates and were now walking silently. He kept looking at his feet as if afraid he was gonna trip and fall. Kate kept staring at him, trying in vain to realize what was going on. They had reached the all-too-familiar park when she finally snapped.

"Ok that's enough. What the hell is going on?"

Jack's head turned to her abruptly, as if he hadn't realized she was there all this time.

"What?"

"You heard me. What is wrong with you?" she pressed remorselessly.

"Nothing's wrong with me. I don't get…" he started innocently.

"Cut the bullshit Jack!" she snarled.

He frowned, acting offended and shaking his head.

"I don't know what you're talking about" he said, turning away from her, starting to walk away.

She ran behind him, grabbed his arm and forced him to look at her. Her eyes were now full of fury mixed with hurt.

"Did I do something? Did I do something wrong?" she asked, her angry tone now gone, replaced but that of hurt and pain.

The thought that she blamed herself for his actions only made Jack feel painly guilty. The burden on his heart grew heavier, till it got unbearable.

"It's not you…it's me" he said in a whisper, hating himself for what he was doing. He was gonna break her heart and he knew it. But he also knew he had to do it, he had to or else she would lose her father for good. He couldn't be the reason she was staying behind, he just couldn't cause her so much pain. Boyfriends could be found elsewhere, fathers not.

Although deep down he knew this was more than a girlfriend-boyfriend situation. He knew their relationship ran deeper than just a fling, meant too much to be cast away. But he made the choice to ignore it, to pretend it didn't matter to him so that she'd get a chance with her father. He made the choice to give her a reason to leave with her father knowing pretty well this could kill him. He made the choice to die inside because it was the right thing to do. For her and her father.

"What do you mean it's you?" she asked baffled.

"It's…I thought I felt…I was confused and didn't really…I don't think I'm in love with you" he said flatly, not daring to look at her and indulge in telling her his real motives.

She felt as though the ground had fallen away beneath her feet. "What?" she choked out.

"I'm sorry…I just didn't…I didn't want to hurt your feelings and i…i…" he continued finding it worse and worse to keep lying to her.

The ice inside her expanded, chilling the blood in her vains. The minutes stretched into what might as well have been years.

"You…you…lied to me?" she said in a barely audible whisper, tears threatening to fall but her pride stopping them.

"I…i…didn't know what I was feeling….Kate…I made a mistake…" he went on, all the while not looking up, afraid she'd read him clearly behind the mask he had put on so unwillingly.

"You…you said you loved me…" she whispered, a single tear falling down her face, before it was wiped away quickly by her trembling hand.

"I'm sorry…" was his only reply.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. No that was impossible. How could he have done something so…hypocritical? How could he have been so…devious? That wasn't the Jack she knew. That wasn't the Jack she had grown up with. This was a monster pretending to be her friend.

He had tricked her, played with her heart and then tossed it away. He didn't care about her feelings. He didn't care about her at all. He was just being a typical guy. Getting the girl, satisfying his ego and throwing her away like a used piece of paper. He had conned her into falling in love with him, just so he could have his fun.

"How could you?" she said her voice rising ominously.

"I didn't mean to…" he started.

"You didn't mean to do what? Make me fall in love with you? Throw me away like I am nothing to you? Or humiliate me and make me feel like I'm worth nothing more than the stupid sluts you are used to going out with?" she yelled, now tears falling freely from her eyes.

His insides turned into a knot. The pane was unbearable. He didn't know how much longer he could this without indulging in tears himself. How could he do this to her?

"Kate…"

"Don't Kate me, you bastard! You're just like everyone else! A hypocrite!" she yelled.

He didn't reply. Didn't say a word. A little more of this and he would end up on his knees, begging her to forgive him, telling her the whole truth.

"Did you enjoy it?" she said, her eyes gleaming with anger and pain, making her look dangerously desperate. "Did you enjoy watching me humiliating myself?" she yelled pushing him on his chest furiously.

She was now sobbing and screaming like a mad woman. Thank God no one was passing by at the moment.

"Kate, stop it. You're gonna hurt yourself…" he said softly, watching her.

"Don't!" she warned him. "Don't act like you care! You never cared, did you?" she said wiping away the tears.

"Kate please…" he pleaded finally looking up at her. But she was too busy managing her pain to realize he was lying. It was written all over his face but she was too blind to see it.

"No…no…don't worry. I'll just go and…and leave you alone…that's what you wanted right?" she said in a weak whisper.

He didn't answer, he just looked at her with a pained expression, not believing he was the cause of her being such a mess. He was the reason she was devastated, and he couldn't do anything about it. Not now.

"Kate…"

"I'll just…I'll just go. I think I've been humiliated by you enough to last me a lifetime, don't you think?" she said with a fake smile, before she turned her back to him and ran as fast as she ever had.

"What?"

"I'm coming with you"

"Wha…hold on. When did you…? How…? Why?" Sam Austen, confused as he'd ever been, asked his daughter.

"Because I want to" Kate said, in a firm voice, avoiding eye contact with her father.

She knew if she looked into his deep brown eyes, all her feelings would resurface, which would only cause her more pain.

"Katie…have you thought this through? I mean, I admit I asked you to come, but I realize it was too much…" Sam started, not really getting how this change in his daughter's attitude happened.

"I'm certain. I've made my choice and I want to leave. Now if you've changed your mind…" Kate started.

"No, no of course not, honey. I want you to come with me more than anything…" Sam interjected.

"Good" she said. At least there was someone who wanted her, she thought bitterly.

"What about your mom?" Sam asked worried. "Don't you think she'll be disappointed?"

"She said it was my choice and that she'd back me up whatever I chose. So there. I choose to come with you." Kate said, getting frustrated by her dad's persistance on trying to talk her out of it.

"Yes but…"

"Dad!" she cut him off. "Do you want me to come with you?" she asked seriously.

"Yes, Katie." he said

"So when do we leave?"

**Please don't hate me for the angst... I know it was a short and probably bad chapter but i promise i'll try to update sooner this time... :-( **


	24. The whole truth

**Chapter 24**

It had been five days since she'd made her decision. It was now Friday afternoon. Students would be dismissed and would be heading for their homes by now. But not her. She hadn't gone to school after that incident with Jack with the excuse that she had loads of packing to do. Besides she would now be going to a new school. Why bother going to the old one?

"Don't you wanna say good-bye?" her mother kept pressuring her. She was doing a good job hiding her sadness for Kate's departing but Kate could see through it. She knew her mother far too well to be blinded by the brave mask she had put on.

"No mom, I don't. Shannon and Claire will come by tonight and that's it" Kate said firmly, indicating she didn't want to talk about it any more.

This was their routine for the past five days. Diane would keep asking what was wrong at school and Kate would say she didn't want to talk about it.

Everyone had realized something had happened between her and Jack. But no one dared to say anything.

Jack was in his most miserable state, snapping and yelling at everyone around him. Sayid had tried to attract the truth out of him but he didn't budge. He denied talking to anyone who brought up her name. Kate.

His parents were desperate. They didn't know what was wrong with their son thus they couldn't do anything to help him. They often tried to comfort him even though they didn't know what had hurt him in the first place, but he always snapped at them and demanded to be left alone.

Even Claire couldn't understand what was happening. She knew Kate was leaving but she had no idea what had caused her making that choice. Obviously they had a fight but how bad was it that made Kate want to leave the country? She kept pushing Jack for answers but he always refused to give them. He was as stubborn as a cow, Claire decided.

Shannon had realized something was terribly wrong, even though Kate hadn't told her a thing. She saw the hurt expression on Kate's face every time Jack's name was mentioned but she never pressed for answers. She knew better than that. If Kate had made her mind nothing would change it.

Sam Austen though, was the most confused of all. He desperately wanted Kate to come with him but something told him that it would be a terrible mistake. He could see his daughter being miserable and it killed him that he couldn't do anything about it. He had realized the reason of her misery was Jack but the lack of information prevented him from doing something about it. No one knew what had happened except for the two involved, Jack and Kate.

"So I'm gonna leave these shirts to you" Kate said to Claire as she gave her the shirts she was holding, "and these to you" she said to Shannon giving her some other cloths. "I warn you, though, it's only till I come back" she added trying her best to appear playful and happy but failing miserably.

It was now 6 o'clock and Kate was already ready. She was to leave the next morning at 9'clock in the morning but she insisted on having everything ready a considerable amount of time before. She was now sitting in her room, giving her two friends, Claire and Shannon, some cloths she didn't need where she was going.

Claire and Shannon though didn't seem to appreciate the offer.

"What is it?" Kate asked.

"Kate, what is going on?" Claire said with a sigh, deciding it was now or never. Tomorrow Kate would be gone. If she didn't ask now, she'd never get the chance.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked coolly, knowing very well what she did mean. She was sick and tired of being asked the same damned question.

"You know very well what" Shannon snapped at her, having had enough of this ridiculous situation.

"I told you I don't wanna talk about it…" Kate started.

"I don't give a damn about what you want right now, Kate" Claire said, her voice rising ominously. "Jack is my friend and I can't just watch him being miserable because of you"

"Because of me?" she asked incredulously. She let out a sarcastic laugh. "That's what he told you? Go figure."

"He hasn't told me anything. But I know when Jack's upset…" Claire started but Kate cut her off.

"I don't care about Jack any more!" Kate yelled forcefully, catching off guard both Shannon and Claire. "I'm leaving this country and I'm leaving this life behind. I'm getting a fresh start and I'm grateful for it" she said passionately.

She was so into her words that she missed the look of hurt on Claire's and Shannon's faces. They ducked their heads and stayed silent. After a few minutes Claire stood up, gathered her things and turned to leave.

But before she did she exclaimed, "so much for best friends for ever", and with a sad smile she left. Kate was staring absently at her, not really comprehending what she had just said. Finally Shannon stood up and with a final glance at Kate she muttered, "I never really liked that phrase, anyway". And she was gone too.

She sat there, torn between wanting to cry and wanting to yell at them to leave her alone. But I am alone, she thought bitterly.

A few minutes later, Sam knocked on the door and entered her room.

"Hey honey. You ready?" he asked.

"Yeah", she said staring at her hands.

Sighing loudly, Sam took a seat next to her on the bed and took her hands into his own.

"Katie…" he started but didn't know how to continue.

Kate didn't talk. The loss and desperation had finally conquered her heart and she let the tears fall freely from her eyes.

"Daddy" she whimpered and she was quickly wrapped up in a big hug. Sam held her close, caressing her back and whispering sweet words to her.

"Shh…it's okay, honey. It's gonna okay" he whispered, his heart breaking with every tear his daughter wasted.

A few minutes passed and finally Kate gathered herself up and wiped away the tears from her cheeks.

"Katie", Sam said softly," what is going on?"

Sniffing lightly, still looking at her hands, she said,"Jack"

Sam sighed and made Kate look at him.

"What about him, Katie?" he asked gently.

"He…he…lied to me. He doesn't love me, Daddy. He doesn't care" she said in a tone full of pain.

"I don't believe that. He loves you more than anything…" Sam started.

"No daddy, he doesn't." She said, anger returning to her face. "He told me so himself"

Sam stayed silent. He knew Kate had a reason for saying that, but he also knew that Jack was willing to die if it would please Kate. He had known Jack since he was a little boy and he had realized how deeply he felt for his daughter ever since. He couldn't be just playing around, he knew that much.

"Katie, things aren't always as they seem", he tried to comfort her.

Finding her old self again, she cleared her throat and stood up.

"I have still some things to do", she said, indicating that she wanted to be left alone. And Sam complied, only because he had other, more important things to do.

* * *

"Sam!"

Margo screamed, surprised by the person standing on her doorstep. She quickly pulled him into a deep hug, smiling from ear to ear.

"It's so good to see you", she exclaimed happily, welcoming him in.

"It's good to see you too, Diane" he replied warmly. "How have you been?"

"Uh…well, you know. The usual", she said with a smile. "Christian is at the hospital. He'd really like to see you."

"I wish I had the time" he replied sadly. "But…i….uh…I'm here to talk to Jack" he said.

Margo's expression sharpened. Her eyes were now unreadable and her whole body stiffened.

"What did he do?" she hissed.

"Nothing, nothing", he said quickly trying to reassure her.

"It's about Kate, isn't it?" Margo asked, still shaking with fury.

"Look Margo, I really don't know what's going on but I have a feeling your son didn't do anything bad on purpose. I assure you I'm not hear to threaten him to stay away from my daughter or something like it. I just want to ask him what's going on." he said, making Margo relax a bit.

"He's not speaking to any one about this", she said miserably.

"Can I give it a try?"

"Go on. He's upstairs."

A minute later Sam Austen was knocking on Jack's door.

A "come in" was heard and Sam walked into his room. Jack was lying on his bed, headphones plugged in, staring absently at the opposite wall. Sam's appearance though startled him and he jumped quickly from the bed to stand in front of the father of his ex-girlfriend.

"Mr Austen", he gasped.

"Hello Jack. Long time, no see." Sam said warmly, amused by Jack's nervousness.

"Uh…i…how have you been?" Jack asked, trying to be polite.

"Actually, not that well." Sam said honestly while taking a seat on Jack's bed.

Jack followed and sat next to him, worry written all over his face.

"Uh…wh…why?" he asked, not daring to look at him.

"Because I think I'm the reason you and Katie are miserable".

"What? No, no, no, you had nothing to do with…it's not your fault…I was an ass….i shouldn't have…it's me….i…i…"

He was trying so hard to hide the truth that it was now too obvious. Sam smiled softly at the man his daughter had fallen for and he realized the reason. Jack was one of the few left, that put other people's happiness above his own. Sam was 100 certain that Jack adored his daughter, that's why he knew something was not right. Jack was not the guy to hook up with a girl and then leave her heartbroken. Of course he was a guy, a guy in his teens, but when it came to Kate, Jack would never hurt her, at least not on purpose.

"I presume you know about my…mission", Sam said watching Jack closely.

Jack didn't speak. It was fruitless to pretend any more.

"Yeah", he whispered, looking down to the floor.

Sam sighed soundly, rubbing his forehead. But before he could speak, Jack interrupted.

"I know what you're gonna say, Mr Austen. But I'm not gonna be the reason your daughter won't have the chance to say good-bye to her father. I just…She deserves to have some time with you…" Jack said sadly, his eyes pleading with Sam to understand.

"Jack, it's not like I'm dying. It's just that there is the possibility that i…"

"That you won't come back."

Sam looked at Jack, recognizing the stubborn expression he had since he was a little boy. Realizing he had no chance in persuading Jack to tell Kate the truth he stood up, determined to find another way to make everything right.

"Very well. If that's your final choice?"

"It is", Jack said determination evident in his voice.

"Take care, Jack", Sam said and with a last smile he left the room.

* * *

"What do you mean I'm not coming?" Kate said incredulously.

Her dad had just arrived and informed her that the plan was changed.

"I mean, tomorrow morning I'll be leaving alone." Sam said as a matter of fact while going to the kitchen to have something to eat.

"Wha…How…Why…Why?" Kate asked going after him.

"Because I'm your father and because I said so." Sam replied still not looking at her.

"But…but…it's my choice…and…I want to come…" Kate said not really understanding what the hell was going on.

"No you don't Katie. And it's okay." Sam said now smiling softly at her.

"But I want to…I…" Kate exclaimed more confused than ever.

"You don't know the whole truth Katie. I think it's time you heard about it." Sam said sadly, taking a seat in the kitchen table.

The next 10 minutes Sam explained calmly to Kate the whole deal. The mission he was about in a year or so, the reason he really wanted to spend some time with her and the possibility he might not come back. All the while Kate didn't speak. She was listening intently to her dad, feeling her heart break at what she was hearing.

"So…you might…not come back?" she whispered her eyes full of tears.

"Katie, look at me." Sam said taking her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him.

"I promise you, I swear to my love for you, I'll do everything in my power to keep safe. I promise you I will come back. Do you trust me?" He asked feeling tears of his own threatening to fall.

"I trust you", Kate whispered softly and then wrapped her arms around him, around her so beloved father. She wouldn't think of the possibilities, she wouldn't think of the dangers, she'd only think of his promise.

After a while they pulled out of the embrace and gathered themselves up.

"Oh and there's something else" Sam said smiling.

"What?"

"Remember when I told you that things aren't always as they seem?"

"Yeah"

"Well I think you might want to talk to Jack."

**Better? She's not leaving so i didn't break any promise :-) I hope you weren't too disappointed with the consecutive jangst but it was planned from the beginning. Now though, i have nothing planned so i'll just go with the flow. Hopefully you're still reading my story :-/ **


	25. I hate you!

_**So here's the talk you've been waiting for. I'm sorry if it's not what you waited for but i couldn't resist :D Enjoy!**_

**Chapter 25**

"So."

"So."

"This is a good-bye." Kate said with a sad smile. She was outside, in front of her father who was about to get into a cab that was waiting.

"How about we make it a "See you soon?" He asked taking her into his arms, wanting to remember his daughter's feel and scent if something went wrong.

"Okay" she whispered, her voice muffled by her father's chest.

After a while they drew apart and Sam Austen opened the door in order to get in but he turned around as if he had forgotten something.

"Did you talk to Jack?" he asked.

"Why would I wanna talk to Jack?" she asked stubbornly. "Just because I'm not leaving doesn't mean we're gonna get back together."

"Katie…" Sam sighed taking her hands in his. "You still don't get it, do you?" he asked softly.

Kate looked at him confused. What was that she didn't get? "Dad what…"

"He knew Katie. About me and my…mission. I think he overheard me when I was talking to your mother." Sam said.

Kate looked at him perplexed. "He knew? "Why didn't he…?" she started to ask but realization dawned on her. She looked shocked and looked at her father for confirmation.

"He's a good man" Sam said, kissed his daughter and got into the cab. Kate stood there frozen, slowly comprehending the situation. With one last look at the place where the cab had disappeared, she ran back into her house.

"Where are you going?" Diane asked as she saw her daughter 10 minutes after Sam was gone getting out of the house.

"At Jack's" she yelled and she was gone.

"O-kay" Diane exclaimed more confused than ever.

* * *

She didn't bother knocking on his door. Margo had let her in and she excused herself saying she was going to a friend to play bridge. Kate though realized she was leaving to give them some privacy and she couldn't help but be grateful to her.

She entered his room, without him knowing it. He was lying on his stomach, headphones plugged in his ears, the volume of what he was hearing at the highest. She went closer and she could hear the "Lost control" by Anathema coming out of his headphones.

She looked at his face. He had his eyes closed and his face turned towards her. His pillow was wet and for a minute she thought he was drooling but when she looked closer she saw tears falling from his eyes. Her heart beat faster and the anger for him was instantly forgotten.

She knelt in front of him and touched his back lightly. He jumped at the sudden contact, removing the headphones from his ears. He looked at her more surprised than ever, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. She stood up to come to his eye level and they just kept looking at each other.

"What…how…why…wh…Kate?" he said trying to find the right words.

"What? You don't remember my name?" she asked, the anger quickly coming back to her.

"Uh…I…I thought…why…why are you here?" he asked shaking his head still not getting what was happening.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked, eyes dangerously cold, hands holding her waist. She didn't care how many tears he had spent, he was gonna hear her screaming whether he liked it or not.

"No…no…I…just…" he mumbled not really sure what he was gonna say.

"You just don't love me, is that it?" she said angrily.

He gulped and looked down, too tired of lying to her. He sat down on his bed and changed the subject.

"When are you leaving?" he asked.

"I'm not." she replied smartly.

"What?" he gasped, snapping his head up to look at her.

"Why are you so surprised?" she asked watching carefully his expression.

"I'm not…I just thought…"

"You thought that since you don't love me and you made me feel like shit I'd go as far away from here as possible" she said as a matter of fact.

He didn't say anything to that. He just stood up turning his back on her, and he went to his desk as if looking for something. He cleared his throat and asked "So why are you here?"

She smiled but didn't say anything. She jumped on his bed and lied on it, eliciting a content sigh. "I was just bored."

He gulped again and tried not to look at her and indulge into kissing her. God it had been so long, he thought closing his eyes.

"Hmm." was all he said.

She smiled in satisfaction. She knew it was not nice what she had planned to do to him but he was asking for it.

"God it's hot in here" she said in an enticing voice and sat up. She got rid of her shirt in one shift movement. She was now only in a very tight and very very short undershirt. Her flat stomach was exposed and the upper of her breasts too. One of the straps of her bra had fallen down her shoulder but she didn't bother putting it back on place.

She caught Jack staring, mouth gaping, and she cocked questionaly her brows at him. He quickly looked away, blushing furiously. He was now half sitting on the edge of his desk, looking down at his feet, playing with his fingers. What is going on, he thought. Is this some kind of revenge? What is she doing here?

"So, I was thinking" she started, sitting up in a way that gave Jack a full sight of her upper breasts. Jack looked over once in a while but he always averted his eyes quickly, not wanting to get caught. "Just because you're not in love with me, doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?" she asked looking at him innocently.

He looked at her for a brief moment like she was crazy and then asked "You don't…you don't have a problem with that? I mean…I lied to you…" he said.

"So what?" she said shrugging her shoulders. "I've lied to you too."

"You have?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah. Remember when I told you Sawyer was not my type?" she asked and he nodded, his full attention at her words.

"Well he is now. I mean I always liked the bad-boy thing. I'm thinking of asking him out" she said thoughtfully.

"You what?" he gasped in shock.

"Why, you have a problem?" she asked looking at him curiously.

"You damn right I have!" he yelled at her.

"Oh so you think he'll break my heart? Maybe you should give him some lessons" she snapped at him.

"That…this…has nothing to do with me and you…" he started.

"Of course not" she said as a matter of fact. "It's about me and me only. He is kinda hot don't you think?" she asked cheekily and with that he snapped.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her face to face with him. His angry look gave Kate a small amount of satisfaction.

"You'll never go out with him, do you hear me?" he said in a loud voice for her to comprehend every word he said.

"Why not? I don't have a boyfriend, do i?" she asked innocently.

"That's not the point…"

"Then what's the point Jack? Last time I checked I was a free woman. I can do whatever I want" she said as a matter of fact.

"Damn it" he hissed and before Kate even realized what was happening Jack's lips were on hers. He pushed her to the wall behind her and thrust his tongue forcefully into her mouth. She was too surprised to react and too overwhelmed to push him off of her.

He was kissing her hard, wanting to imprint the feeling of his lips on hers. The thought of her going out with Sawyer had driven him mad. He knew now he had no right to tell her what to do or what not to but hell would freeze over before he let her even touch another man.

He had now his hands buried in her dark locks and was holding her head in place for him to explore the depths of her mouth. It had been so long that the intoxicating feeling over her tongue caressing his was almost making him lose it.

He finally detached his mouth from hers, only to attack her neck, kissing and nibbling her sensitive places. She brought her hands to the back of his neck, finally finding the courage to react and sighed in contentment. He slowly kissed up her neck, bringing his mouth to her ear, where she could hear his frantic and lustful breathing. And that's when she snapped.

With one quick movement she pushed him away and slapped him across the face.

Shock and surprise could only describe his feelings at the moment. His eyes wide in question and his mouth hanging open in confusion.

"What the hell was that for?" he asked, holding the cheek she had slapped, feeling it getting sore.

"That" she started taking a step forward making him take a step back,"was for making me believe that all this time I was living a lie" she said angrily.

"Wh…what?" he asked.

"You know bloody hell what. You thought that if you made me believe I was nothing to you I would decide to go away with my father" she said her voice rising ominously.

"I don't know what you're talking about" he said innocently.

"Touche" she said rolling her eyes. "You don't need to sweat, my dad told me everything." she said softly.

"He did?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah Jack, he did," she replied angrily. "Unlike you he likes to be honest with the people he loves."

"Then…then why didn't you go with him?" he asked confused.

"Because he loves me and he doesn't want me to spend a year of misery just so we could have another year together. And because he promised me he will come back." Kate said.

Jack was silent for a long while, taking in all the information he had received in a matter of minutes. He then looked at Kate, his eyes pleading with her to understand.

"Kate i…"

"How could you?" she bellowed. "How could you pretend you don't love me just so you could send me to my dad?" she yelled.

"Kate I only wanted you to have a chance with him…" he apologized.

"How about my happiness Jack? Did you think about that or were you so busy with your self loathing that you didn't have time to think about how miserable you made me feel?" she asked.

"I didn't want you to miss your dad because of me, Kate" he said getting angry too. "I'm just a boyfriend, you'll find another one if you have to. But if you lose your dad then that's it." he yelled back at her.

She looked at him as if he were a mad man. "Just a boyfriend? You think you're just a boyfriend?" she asked baffled.

"Kate…"

"What the hell Jack? What…what are we doing here? I suppose I'm just a girlfriend to you too so why do I even bother to make things right between us…?" she said and started to get out of the room.

"You know you mean the world to me, Kate!" he said loudly, grabbing her arm to prevent her from leaving.

"Do I?"

"You don't get it, do you? I love you, Kate. I love you!" he said passionately that Kate softened almost immediately.

"Then why did you want to…"

"Because I love you too much! I thought that letting you go with your father was the best for you but I knew you'd never agree. And I'm sorry for lying to you and making you believe I don't care about but I couldn't stand watching you regret not going with your father if something went wrong." he said on the verge of tears.

"Jack I'm sorry…" she said softly caressing lovingly his cheek.

"No don't be" he said shaking his head. "It's all my fault" he whispered backing away from her, as if he didn't deserve to be touched by her.

"Jack…" she said touching his shoulder.

"I've hurt you so much, Kate. How can you not hate me?" he asked.

"I do Jack" she said and Jack felt like he was stabbed. "I hate you for making me feel that way. I hate you for wanting to control my life. I hate you for thinking I could just get over you and move on. But most of all I hate you cause I love you so much it hurts. I hate you because whatever you do I won't ever stop loving you." she said and slid her hand around the nape of his neck, pulled him close very deliberately and kissed him. His mouth was a slow, seductive drug on her senses. Heat and excitement ignited within both of their bodies. She put her other free arm around his neck and abandoned herself to the tantalizing sensations that were igniting her senses. She had already been addicted to his kisses.

After a few minutes of heavy kissing, they pulled apart, panting and gasping.

"What are you doing tonight?" Jack asked trying to get his breathing back to normal.

"Something with you" she replied still panting making him chuckle. "My mom is leaving for the weekend" she said and Jack looked at her seriously.

"Hmm" he said making her giggle.

"So you're coming over?" she asked licking her lips in a way that made Jack wanna grab her and…

"You bet I am!"

_**So? I told you deep down i was a nice person Lol. Well, i was thinking...Should i give you jex in next chapter? If i do i'll turn the fic into M-rated even though it won't be extremely graphic. I just don't want to offend anyone... Anyway, tell me what you think :D **_


	26. I love you!

_A/N: I'm so so so so so sorry!!! Please don't hate me! I was extremely busy these last couple of weeks! I had time to write two paragraphs every two days!!! I hope you didn't forget about my story :-( _

**WARNING!!!: THIS CHAPTER IS M-RATED BUT SINCE I DIDN'T WANT TO CHANGE THE RATE FOR THE WHOLE STORY I'M JUST WARNING YOU THAT THERE'S GONNA BE SOME GRAPHIC STUFF! NOT TOO MUCH BUT ANYONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH SUCH THINGS PLEASE DON'T READ THIS. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T GET OFFENDED!!! **

Chapter 26

"No parties, no drinks, no cigarettes, no noise, no damage, no fire."

"Yes mom" Kate said in the same monotonus tone she had answered her mother every time she repeated the rules.

"In case of an emergency Mrs Figgs will be there to help you and if she isn't, call Margo and if she isn't there either call…"

"The police" Kate said and rolled her eyes.

"Don't mock me Katherine Austen" Diane warned.

"Mom, you're leaving for two days! Two! Not thirty two! I'll be fine!" Kate said exasperated. "Now go cause the cab won't wait for long."

"Yeah, okay." Diane said unsure. She looked at the house, checking in case she had forgotten anything. When she was certain everything was cool she turned to her daughter. "Be careful, okay?"

"Okay" Kate smiled and gave her mom a quick hug. Diane pecked her on the cheek and grabbed her luggage.

"See you in two days" Diane said and left.

Kate looked around her. She was alone. No interruptions, no annoying questions, no nagging. Finally she could spend a weekend with Jack without being afraid that someone would walk into them. Finally she could take the next step with the love of her life. Finally.

Grinning like an idiot she yelped and jumped on the couch, bouncing like a two-year-old who had just been given the permission to eat ice-cream. She continued with the excitement for a little while longer when the reality finally stroke in.

She was gonna have sex with Jack.

Immediately she stopped celebrating and focused on the matter. What if she wasn't good at it? What if she was so bad that Jack would actually wanna break up with her? What if she left him so unsatisfied that he'd go seeking the pleasure in another woman's arms?

Stop it, she ordered herself. Jack loves me and he knows I'm unexperienced. If he was looking for that kind of a relationship he wouldn't have been with me.

But still the scary thoughts continued to exist in the back of her head, even though she pretended that everything was okay. She still feared she would suck at _it _and that she would embarrass herself in front of Jack.

It was now 6 pm. Jack would be here any minute and Kate was frozen on her seat. She hadn't made anything special, no candles and stuff. She just couldn't, the fear had prevented her from making plans for the upcoming lovemaking. And desperate thoughts kept ringing in her head.

What if it hurts too much and I start crying? What if I make terrible noices and make him lose his interest in me? What if he finds me ugly naked? What if… And it kept going like that until the bell rang.

Kate drew in a deep breath and for a second she had the craziest idea to pretend she wasn't home, but the logic prevailed. Reluctantly she stood up and went to open the door. Grabbing the doorknob she closed her eyes, reminding herself to relax and turned it.

"Hey" Jack said brightly stepping in and giving her a quick hug and a peck on the lips. He seemed unaware of her nervousness, Kate noted.

"Hi" Kate said softly guiding him to the living room.

"What's up?" he asked naturally taking a seat on the couch.

"Not much" she replied sitting too, choosing to sit on the far end of the couch. She was playing with her fingers not able to look at him.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked cautiously sensing her uneasiness. He moved closer to her and he realized she was extremely nervous. "Hey" he said confused touching her arm.

"I'm fine" she said quickly pretending a smile. "Did you bring a movie?" she asked changing the subject.

Noticing her change in behavior he decided to play along. "Yeah…i… I didn't know what to get so I brought…you sure you're okay?" he asked watching her closely.

Gulping she laughed despite herself and kissed him on the mouth.

"I'm fine" she repeated not really meaning it. She stood up and went to look in the bag Jack had brought for the movie. She was searching frantically, obviously upset, but she couldn't find the DVD. "Where the hell is it?"

"Kate…"

"It's gonna be awful!" she burst out turning to look at him. "I am gonna be awful!"

"Wha…awful at what? What are you talking about?" Jack asked confused.

"Don't be stupid Jack! You know what I'm talking about! I'm unexperienced, clumsy and…and…" she stuttered not knowing how to continue. Tears threatened to fall but she didn't' allow them to. Now was not the time to be emotional.

"Whoa whoa" Jack interrupted holding his hand up to stop her. "I'm lost here. What…what are you talking about?"

"Sex Jack! I'm talking about sex! God…I'm…I can't believe…I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to do!" she cried out exasperated putting her face into her hands.

Jack slowly came to his senses, comprehension dawning on him. The first reaction was to laugh, but watching Kate in such a desperate state decided against it. He reached over at her and took her in his arms. She tried to pull away from him but he didn't budge. Grabbing her in his strong arms he made her surrender and finally she held him back.

They stayed like this for a while until Jack decided to speak.

"I love you" he said softly and she felt her heart melt. "I know you said you were ready but we don't have to do this…"

"I am ready" she said strongly pulling away to face him. "I just was…" she trailed off ashamed.

"When you are ready you won't be scared Kate" he said caressing her face. "You won't be having second thoughts and you will know what to do" he said softly.

"But I am ready, I do want you Jack…"

Jack pulled her tightly to him and kissed her hard enough to enforce silence. When he pulled back she had trouble breathing. He kissed sweetly her nose and told her "I want you more than you know Kate, but I'd rather have you like this than make love to you and then lose you."

"You won't lose me" she said looking straight at him.

He smiled and kissed her again. "Let's just watch the movie tonight, ok?" he said.

"Ok" she replied.

They watched Tristan and Isolde for the second time, sitting next to each other, Kate's head on his shoulder and Jack's arm around her waist. It felt good just to hold each other, breathing in and out each other's scent.

The movie was one of Kate's favorites, the tragedy of the story making her sad but Jack's presence making her happy. She loved being in his arms, it felt so natural. Like she belonged there.

The movie ended and it was now 11 pm. Jack stood up, took the DvD and put it into the bag he had brought. Confused, Kate straightened up.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh…home" he said looking at her strangely.

"Don't leave" she said in a whimpering tone that caught immediately his attention.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing I just…" she trailed off looking at her hands.

"Kate" he said sitting next to her and taking her hands into his.

"I know we said no sex but… but can we just sleep…together?" she asked innocently.

That took him off guard. Sure he'd love to sleep with her but it would be way too hard. He had trouble restraining himself since he came what would happen when they lied down together? He didn't want to push her into anything but he had a feeling that certain things wouldn't go unnoticed by Kate.

"Uh…i…um…." he trailed off fighting with himself. Obviously she wanted him here but she wouldn't be too pleased afterwards.

"It's okay, you don't have to stay" she said faking a smile, seeing his hesitation.

"No, I want to stay but…are you sure?" Jack asked looking straight at her.

"Yeah Jack" she laughed. "It's only sleep"

Sleep for you, torture for me, he thought. "Ok then"

He was now standing in front of her bed while waiting for her to come out of the bathroom that was in her room. She told him to get himself comfortable but he didn't dare taking off his clothes. Some things would become apparent and that would be just bad.

"I'll just sleep in my clothes" he yelled.

"Jack…" Kate's annoyed voice came from the bathroom.

"Kate"

"What? You scared I'm gonna steal your clothes and run?" she teased.

"You've watched way too many teen movies Kate" he teased back.

"Oh like you haven't! I'll never forget you almost cried watching A Cinderella Story!" she laughed knowing he was blushing.

"Hey! It was sad! She had no one in the world to support her and…whoa!"

Kate was standing in front of him wearing a tiny nightgown. Her legs were utterly revealed and her upper chest was too. Her lack of bra was obvious and Jack's lack of breath was too. He quickly put his hands in front of his pants preying to God she hadn't seen his way too apparent erection.

"Thanks" she said blushing and playing with her feet. "You still not taking off your clothes?"

"Yep" he said and gulped.

She had other ideas though. She moved in front of him and in one shift movement she had taken of his shirt.

"What the…?"

"Shut up" she said and went to the bed.

He couldn't help himself. He was staring at her backside, feeling himself losing control. The way her body moved, her legs just perfect, her neck utterly beautiful her breasts…

"Jack, are you coming?" she asked as she got under the sheet.

This was it, he thought. He took off his shoes and shocks and walked slowly towards her. She didn't seem to realize how nervous he was and he thanked God for that.

He got under the sheet, enjoying how cold it felt cause his body was hot to the touch. He really needed a cold shower.

And it only got worse. She moved closer to him, putting her head on the crook of his neck while wrapping her arm around his torso. Once she was comfortably snuggled next and onto him she let out a sigh of contentment.

He on the other hand was holding his breath. Any minute now she was gonna feel his "ahum" and he'd be in lots of trouble. He didn't want her to feel embarrassed or think that "that" was the only thing he had in mind. Even though right now he couldn't think of anything else but how good it'd feel to slowly take off her tiny nightgown and touch…

"Jack?" she said softly.

"Yeah" he said and swore himself for thinking like a sex-addict.

She didn't say anything more. She just lifted her head and looked at him, leaning in to give him a kiss. She lingered on his lips, liking the softness of them. She moved closer now, deepening the kiss, wanting more. She brought her arm on his chest and slowly caressed him.

His hands now were moving too. He gripped her waist and rubbed her hips, the nightgown making it all the more pleasant. He pushed her slowly on her back, and he was now above her but not suffocating her. He continued to kiss her, one kiss after another, tongues dueling, hands exploring.

"Kate" he gasped, control on the verge of being lost.

She didn't speak, she just kissed him harder, holding on the back of his neck

"Kate" he said again keeping his eyes closed. "If you don't stop, I won't stop either" he whispered.

"Then don't stop" she murmured and opened her legs to show him she was being serious.

"Are you sure?" he whispered again. He wanted her too much to back off but he loved her even more to risk losing her.

"I want you Jack" she whimpered and went to kiss his neck.

That's where he lost it.

His hands now traveled more freely. He caressed her thigh, going higher and higher, taking the nightgown with him. He finally pulled it over her head and she was now almost naked.

She was flashed and breathing heavily, unable to stop touching him. He bent down and kissed her neck, then her collarbone and then he reached her bare breasts. She arched her back and he indulged.

Her hands now were trembling with want and need, never believing she would feel that way. She reached over him and unbuttoned his pants, hearing him groan in anticipation. They both wanted to take their time but they wouldn't be able to hold it back for much longer.

She pushed his pants off his legs and he was now only in his black boxers. Their breathing was frantic, their hands on fire. A few touches and a couple of wet kisses later, they were both completely naked. Each admired how beautiful and perfect the other person was.

Jack brought his eyes up to look at her face, so beautiful and sexy and yet so innocent.

"I love you" he whispered hovering his lips over hers.

"I love you too" she whispered back, holding his face in her hands.

Having taken the answer he looked for, he reached over the back pocket of his pants that were thrown on the floor and took out the small rubber. Kate smiled wickedly at him and took it from his hands. Carefully and enjoying her every move, she put it on him, liking the sounds of satisfaction he made.

He groaned thickly and his head lowered until his mouth captured hers. The kiss was hot, hungry, and demanding, revealing fully the depths of Jack's arousal. He caught her lower lip between his teeth and bit carefully. When Kate moaned softly, he slid his tongue intimately into her mouth and simultaneously brushed his hand across her breast. Kate reacted sharply to Jack's touch, covering his hand with her own as he stroked her breast, feeling her body stiring into throbbing awareness.

He started entering her and she sucked in her breath, digging her nails into his back. He eased forward while she gasped at the incredibly tight, stretched, full feeling he was creating within her.

"You okay?" he asked in a deep voice, his control apparently lost.

"Yeah" she breathed out, feeling herself relaxing and getting comfortable.

He kissed her lingeringly and then he began to move slowly within her, long, slow strokes designed to ease himself carefully back and forth in the tight passage. Kate shivered and her fingers tightened on his shoulders as she leaned into his strength. She lifted her hips to meet his slow, careful thrust, the previous pain now turned into absolute pleasure.

Sweat was dripping from his face as he neared his release. He could feel her arching her back, the little sounds she made exciting him even more. He could tell she was near her release too but she seemed to be holding back.

"Relax" he whispered in her ear while he sped up his rythme.

She looked up at him, with confused and scared eyes.

"I can't…I feel like…i…uh…." she gasped closing her eyes.

"Let it go" he whispered again sensually and with that she exploded taking him over the edge with her.

She convulsed softly around him, the small tremors of her climax rippling outward, sweeping her away on a golden tide. In the distance she heard Jack's answering growl of response, felt the sudden rigitidy of the bunched muscles in his shoulders and, finally, the shattering power of his own release.

"I love you"


	27. All was lost

_**I'm sorry...ducks to avoid the rocks **_

**Chapter 27**

"Mmmmm"

"Wake up, sleepy head" Kate softly whispered into his ear.

"5 more minutes" he whined and buried his head deeper in the pillow.

"Fine. Then I'll get a shower on my own" Kate said watching as his one eye popped open.

"I could take a shower" he said innocently making her laugh.

"But I thought you wanted to sleep…" she teased.

"Well now that you woke me up you'll have to make it up to me" he said with a grin taking her by the waist and bringing her on top of him.

They were both still naked, so their skin brushed together and sent goosebumps all over them. She had a sheet wrapped around her, her hair messed, her lips kissed-swollen, her eyes betraying the happiness she was feeling.

He lifted his head and kissed her lightly on the mouth. He trailed his hand across her features, her eyes, her cute little nose and her lips. She was watching him in adoration, feeling her heart swell from love for the guy beneath her.

"Last night was incredible" she whispered with a slight blush on her cheeks. She figured they'd have to talk about these things now but it was still embarrassing.

"You are incredible" he said with a cheeky smile, chuckling when she told him it was touche. Before they knew it they were making out again, tongues and hands exploring with no inhibitions. The sheets fell from their bodies, the heat radiating from them too much to handle. A ring though made them stop with a disappointed growl.

Kate tried to put quickly the sheet around her, Jack's amused expression not helping at all. Afraid it was her mother on the phone, she gave up on the sheet and ran naked to the living room to get the phone. Jack was still laughing of course.

She got the phone just in time, but it wasn't her mom calling, it was Jack's.

"Kate dear, is Jack there?" Margo asked kindly.

"Uhh…ye…yeah…hold on one second…" she said nervously, blushing even though Margo couldn't see her. She grabbed Jack's jacket from the couch and put it on before running back upstairs to pass Jack the phone.

"What?" Jack asked

"It's your mother" Kate mouthed to him.

"Mom?" Jack asked holding the phone at his ear.

"Jack Christian Shepard! Where the hell did you sleep last night?" Margo screamed so loud that Kate clearly heard her.

"Mom, calm down. I'm fine." Jack said

"Oh you are now, but you won't be ONCE YOU GET BACK HOME!"

Kate winced and cursed herself for not reminding Jack to call his mother.

"Look mom, I'm sorry I didn't call I just got caught up and forgot to…"

"Save it young man! We'll talk when you get here" Margo said stiffly and hung up on him.

"She hung up on me" Jack exclaimed surprised.

"Jack I'm sorry! I shouldn't have made you stay over last night!" Kate said worried about what his mother would do to him.

"Kate, even if the world stopped moving because I didn't call my mother, I would never regret sleeping with you last night." Jack said sincerely holding her face between his hands.

She felt like crying at his beautiful words but instead she kissed him with so much passion that if Margo was not about to kill Jack he would have stayed and loved her some more.

"I really…really have to go" he said, his face inches away from hers.

"I know" she breathed out and kissed him once more.

When they finally managed to keep their hands off each other, Jack got dressed under Kate's lustful eyes. She was this close to jump him and undress him twice as quickly but she really didn't want him in any more trouble. So she just held back busing herself by imagining new ways to make love to him. "Damn I've become a nympho", she thought amused by her want for him.

"So, I'll…I'll call you,ok?" Jack said giving her a big kiss on the mouth.

"You'd better" she replied and kissed him again.

A good ten minutes later he was finally heading home, making up reasons for why he hadn't called his mother last night. But whatever he told her she would just conclude in the same thing: He had slept with Kate. And even if it wasn't something to be embarrassed about he didn't want his parents to know about his sex life too. Besides he had a feeling Kate wouldn't appreciate it if Margo started asking her about that night.

Finally he arrived home and with a deep breath walked into the house. Both his parents were sitting at the table in complete silence. Once they spotted him Margo started yelling again but Christian stopped her.

"Honey, I think it's time for me to act like a father here." He said and stood up. "Let's go talk in my office Jack"

Jack was taken aback. He was in big trouble after all. His dad only scolded him when it was a big time mess and it always didn't end up well for Jack. He looked at his mother for some help and saw that she too was surprised. But she didn't back off.

Christian sat on his chair behind the desk and Jack closed the door before sitting down opposite to him. They stayed silent for a while, Jack praying to God to end this soon and Cristian amused by his son's petrified look.

"So, is she okay?"

"Huh?" Jack asked snapping his head up to look at his father.

"Is Kate okay?" Christian asked again unnerved.

"Uhhh…yeah…she's fine…" Jack replied confused.

Silence followed.

"I'll take your mother out tonight." Christian said naturally confusing Jack even more.

"O-kay" Jack said completely lost by now.

"So you'll be free to do whatever you want" Cristian said, now looking at him with meaning.

"Dad, I don't…"

"I'm gonna tell your mother you're grounded, and you _are_ grounded don't get me wrong, but I think I can make an exception for tonight" he said.

"Wha…wh…why?" Jack asked baffled.

"Because I'd rather have a son that just gets too caught up to call his parents than one who doesn't call his girlfriend after spending a whole night with her" he said as a matter of fact.

Jack was speechless. He really didn't like where his dad was going with the "whole night girlfriend" thing but he definitely liked the permission to get out with Kate.

"Just in case your mother asks," Christian interrupted his thoughts, "I yelled at you and made you regret not calling us last night, all right?

"Yeah" he said laughing.

They both stood up and Christian patted his back while walking towards the door.

"So I take it you made me proud last night?" Christian asked with a smirk.

"Dad" Jack yelped embarrassed to the bone.

"Just say yes or no, son" Christian pushed.

"I don't know…" Jack trailed off with a shy smile.

"That good huh?" Christian laughed.

"Dad!"

"Hello?"

"Hi. I'm looking for the most beautiful girl in the world. Could I speak with her?" Jack teased from the one end of the phone.

"Oh well, she's kinda busy right now with all the admirers and fans." Kate teased back

"I want names and addresses" Jack said seriously making her laugh out loud.

"Relax lover boy, no one's taking your girl"

"My girl huh?" he laughed at her choice of words. "Well, is my girl available tonight?"

"But…but what about your parents? What happened?" she asked.

"Uhhh…let's just say that both me and my parents acknowledge my priorities" he said.

"Jack, I don't want you to get in any more trouble…" she started.

"I know and I love you for that, but the truth is my dad actually insisted on calling you today" he said as a matter of fact.

"Really?" she asked surprised.

"Yep. And since I'm such a good boy and don't want to go against my parents' will I'm gonna take you out tonight."

"Oh poor baby. Always doing what your parents want…" she teased making him laugh.

"So, I'll come pick you up at 7, is that okay?" he asked.

"Sure, but where are we going?"

"It's so beautiful"

"Yeah, you are"

"Oh fine I'll sleep with you. Now stop with the cheesy lines already" she teased smacking him on the back of his head.

His response was to grab her by the waist and bring her on top of him, kissing her senseless. The waves from the sea creating a pleasurable music background, adding to the romantic scenery. They had come to the beach to have a picnic, much to Kate's excitement. She loved the beach, the water, the sand. And Jack was more than willing to satisfy her, in all meanings.

"You know," Kate said after a while, having relaxed in his arms, her back resting against his chest,"I always wondered how you'd be like in your dates."

"Really?" he asked. "Why's that?"

"Dunno…It's just that you're always such a gentleman, caring and nice" she said sweetly turning to look at him.

"Now who's the one with the cheesy lines?" he teased making her laugh.

"Seriously Jack….you're so…perfect." She said sincerely looking deep into his brown orbs.

"I'm not perfect," he said softly, "but when I'm with you I feel like…like I could do anything…you give me strength that I never knew it existed…you just…complete me."

She felt a tear falling down her face but didn't bother wiping it away. She brought her face closer to his, wanting to feel his breath on her. Slowly, she caressed his lips with her own, feeling herself tremble at the passion radiating from both of them.

The kiss deepened in the proscess, as it always did, like it was as natural as breathing. Jack brought his hand on the back of her neck, bringing her even closer if possible, wanting to swallow her, to drink her in with a kiss.

He couldn't believe the way he was feeling. All this time he thought he knew what love, real love is. He thought that he could survive without it, without Kate. But now, having her there, kissing her, loving her, was becoming an addiction. He knew he wouldn't be able to live without her in his life, without touching her, knowing that she felt the same. She was his heart. If she stopped loving him he would be dead.

He slowly lied down taking her with him, having her sprawled on his chest. They kept making out, too caught up in the moment to breath. She gently but firmly started pulling his shirt until it was completely out of her way so she could kiss and lick wherever she wanted.

The noises he made just urged her more to give him pleasure, to express her love for him by making him tremble with need. She never thought it possible to be so forward in sex but Jack was…a great inspiration. She wasn't a big fan of sex in general but with Jack…it was different. She wanted him every minute of every day. He was like a drug.

Thankfully the beach was deserted otherwise Kate removing Jack's clothes and Jack undressing Kate would be a surprising, even interesting show to watch. They were lying under a kiosk near the sea having put down a blanket to avoid the sand. The food was forgotten at the side, each other naked attracting all their attention.

Kiss after kiss, they were panting with need and pleasure. Finally they connected again, feeling like they were just born, like it was then that they started breathing. Slow movements and hot breaths drove them crazy, bringing them to another level of passion. Green orbs met brown and all was lost. Control, mind, logic.


	28. You're killing me

A/N: Oh man...it's been ages since i last updated...BUT! It's not my fault...really...i mean who in their right mind makes small innocent children like me study ancient greek? ANCIENT GREEK FOR PETE'S SAKE! Like i'm ever going to use that language pfff... I really don't get how this stupid educational system works...ANYWAY sorry for that...i'm really pissed off at the world right now, cause i have barely free time these days...and i know there's no excuse for my delay but i really couldn't write these days guys...It sucks but i can't help it. Ok so enough with my outburst, time for the new chapter. It probably sucks BUT there is major smutt in this chapter, at least for a T-rated story, so please BE WARNED

Chapter 28

"Bitch"

"What was that?"

"I said bitch!" a furious Juliet yelled.

By now many students had gathered around watching, some amused others scared, the catfight between the blond and the brunette. Juliet and Kate.

"You know what?" Kate laughed shaking her head. "As much as I want to rip your hair of your head right now, I won't fall as low as you have" and with that she turned around and went to walk by the staring students.

"Oh are you scared little Katie?" Juliet snickered making Kate stop.

"Scared of you?" she asked incredulously. "Haha, that made my day. Well, Jules if you have any doubt keep bitching about me and you'll find out just how much patience there is in me. Now bye-bye."

She turned and left without looking back, a huge grin on her face. Shannon ran behind her having a hard time controlling her laughter. Some students actually applauded her. She kept walking until a pair of familiar hands grabbed her and forced her into an empty classroom. She gasped even though she knew who it was.

"Jack" she started but his lips shut her up and a hot, pulsing joy seized her.

"Mmm" Jack pulled back looking at her beauty. "What happened out there?"

"Pfff…let's not talk" she said and attacked his mouth thrusting her tongue inside. He obliged for a few seconds, enjoying the feeling of their tongues battling but he pulled back once again.

"Seriously Kate. What did Juliet do?" he asked trying to keep his control while Kate started kissing his neck.

"Mmm…nothing….she…was…just…being…herself…" she said in between lustful kisses that made his head go dizzy.

"What…oh that feels good…did she say?" he breathed out, her hands on his lower back and her mouth all over his body.

"Jaaaack…" she whined pouting at him. "We're trying to make out here. Stop talking" she said and he let out a chuckle before another long make-out session started.

Ten minutes later the bell rung and Jack was hurriedly buttoning up his shirt. Kate was giggling at him, her cheeks flushed, her lips swollen from the kisses, her hair ruffled. She was too cute for him to resist.(A/N: They didn't actually did it, just making out :D)

The door opened revealing Mrs Danforth just when Jack had attacked Kate's mouth once again.

"Hem-hem" she coughed making both teenagers snap their heads towards her.

Kate gasped and Jack stopped breathing. Both were blushing furiously to the point where you could no longer tell if they were humans or tomatoes. They immediately took their hands off each other and looked shamefully at the floor, without missing though the disapproving look on Mrs Danforth's face.

"I think you'd better go to your classes now" Mrs Danforth said in a low but strong voice that made both of the shiver.

"Yes Mrs Danforth" they muttered.

But before they were out of the classroom and away from the teachers's disapproving look she spoke.

"Oh and I'd suggest you both went to some of the sexology lessons…" she said a teasing tone now in her voice that only made the teenagers want to disappear. "We wouldn't want any accidents now, would we?"

"No Mrs Danforth" they both muttered turning around and running as fast as they could.

* * *

"She actually caught you?" Shannon asked amused.

"Unfortunately" Kate sighed.

They were on their way back to their homes as they were dismissed from school. Jack was still there though working on some assignment Professor Artz had made him do for missing one of his classes.

"Uh…well you weren't doing anything improper. I mean you were only making out right?" Shannon asked as a matter of fact.

"….ye..ah…" Kate said softly making Shannon stop and stare at her.

"Don't tell me that…" she trailed off wide-eyed.

"No! No no not that…not…today" she said

"Not today? What's that supposed to mean?" Shannon yelled, excitement in her voice. "You didn't…did you?" she asked looking closely at her friend.

Kate blushed and looked at the ground, not answering at first but knowing she wouldn't get away with it she spoke, "Yeah"

"OH.MY.GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kate covered her ears as Shannon started screaming and jumping like a mad woman. She squeeled and squeeled until she had no more strength to keep going. Then she stopped and dragged Kate to a nearby bench and sat her down, standing in front of her with her arms folded.

"Ok. Now spill."

"Shan…"

"Oh no missy. Start talking. When, where, how, why?"

"Uh…well…the first time was on Saturday night…" Kate started but Shannon started squeeling again.

"The first time? Omg, there were more times?" Shannon asked clapping her hands like a two year old who was told they were going to the park.

"Well…yeah…just…don't interrupt me" Kate said gathering herself for what was coming. She was rather uncomfortable talking about her sex life but she knew she wasn't getting away from Shannon without first giving her all the details.

"Ok ok. Go on." Shannon said eagerly.

"Well, I told you how we made up after my father was gone. So I told him to come over to my place for a movie and I…might have suggested something more…" Kate said blushing.

"That's my girl" Shannon smirked but shut up when she got a glare from her friend.

"So he came but I was really nervous. I was freaking out about the whole thing but he was so sweet…He told me we didn't have to do anything and that he loved me too much to risk it for sex and…"

"Enough with the cheesy shit. What about the sex? Was it good?" Shannon asked.

Kate rolled her eyes.

"As I was saying" she said through greeted teeth, "he was very sweet and I asked him to stay over even if we didn't…you know…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Keep going."

"Well we lied down and he had his arms wrapped around me and I just…I don't know…I felt…safe…so I turned around and kissed him. And one thing led to another and…you know…" Kate said with a smile on her face, lost in her own world, daydreaming.

"No, actually I don't know." Shannon said.

"Well…it was…amazing. He was gentle…and tried to make me feel good…and it…was…perfect" Kate said with a sigh, remembering how good it had felt to be in his arms, to shudder from the pleasure he was responsible for, to hear his soft groan of satisfaction.

"Wow…how about pain?" Shannon winced.

"Just a bit…but then it was great" Kate said thinking about her lost virginity.

"How about the size?" Shannon asked winking at her,

"What?"

"Oh come on. You know what I'm talking about. Average size, oh-my-god-he's-huge size or where-the-hell-is-it size?" Shannon asked making Kate crack up with laughter.

"I can't believe you actually have names for it?" She said laughing.

"Well? What about Jack?" Shannon asked.

"Hmm…that's only for the few lucky girls to know. And it'd better be just me."

"Awww…that good huh?" Shannon said smiling.

"Hell yeah" Kate beamed. "And the second time was even better. He took me to the beach and…"

"To the beach??? You're killing me…"

* * *

Kate was lying on her stomach on her bed, doing her homework, the music playing softly at the background. She couldn't wipe the smile off her face, even if she managed to stop thinking of him…for five minutes. She started humming to herself

_When I hear my favorite song_

_I know that we belong_

_Oh, You are the music in me_

_Yeah, It's living in all of us  
_

_And It's brought us here because_

_You are the music in me_

"Wow…Smart, pretty_ and_ a good singer" Jack's teasing voice sounded making her jump.

"Jack" she gasped, "How did you get in here?"

"You know…the window" he laughed enveloping her in a big hug. She brought her face up to look at him, her eyes glistering with love for him. He crushed his lips on hers, unable to hold back any longer. He felt her mouth opening for him, inviting him inside where it was moist and close and dark. He pierced the depths, reveling in the intimacy of the drugging kiss.

He brought his hands on her back, inserting them inside her shirt. Her skin made him think of rose petals-she was so soft. He trailed kisses along her neck, sucking on her collarbone making her moan softly. Her intoxicating response to him opened the floodgates of his own passion.

In a matter of minutes they were both topless and staring at each other. Kate blushed under his heated gaze but she made no attempt to cover herself. Indeed, the knowledge that he wanted her so intensely only served to make her bolder. She splayed her fingers against his hard chest and then lifted her hands to his shoulders.

Jack inhaled deeply and let out his breath in a low groan. He lowered his head to kiss the high, taut crowns of her breasts as she traced the contours of his back.

Suddenly he pulled back, going over to her bedroom's door and locking it. He turned back to her, grabbed her by the waist, lifted her and seated her on the edge of the desk. The skirt she was wearing went above her knees and Jack moved coser, in between her legs.

His hands skimmed along the inside of her leg all the way to the soft, hot vulnerable part of her that had suddenly been opened to him. Kate stopped breathing when she felt him touch the unguarded core of her body. An excruciating sense of urgency radiated outward from the place where his fingers connected with her womanly flesh.

Her legs tightened instictively around him. He touched her with the tip of his thump and Kate shivered and gave a soft, whimpered moan.

A few minutes later and the unnescessary pieces of clothing were on the floor. Their owners were now connected in the most complete, exciting kind of way. Their breathing was difficult but it didn't matter. Why bother about it when the person they loved most in the world was loving them in the most intimate way?

Jack's palms were so strong and firm around the soft curves of her bottom. He used his grip to hold her carefully still while he thrust himself swiftly and relentlessly into her softness. Kate opened her mouth to cry out in pleasure but Jack covered her lips with his own, stifling her sounds of satisfaction.

He was now moving very slowly and very gently within her, never quite leaving her body before returning to sheath himself once more. Kate clung to Jack as he drew her deeper and deeper into the sultry waters of passion. The aching need inside her was overwhelming. She felt full to the bursting point. She heard herself pleading with Jack for a releash, a releash to take her over the stars.

Jack sounded very pleased with her demands. In fact, to Kate's growing frustration, he encouraged them. He seemed to know just how to drive himself into her; how far to withdraw. He stroked the fiery tension until she felt like a clockwork toy that has had its spring wound much too tight.

And then Jack put his hand down between their bodies and did something with his fingers at the same time that he surged into her. It was too much. The spring inside Kate shattered. Wave after wave of pleasure raced through her, leaving her shivering in the aftermath. She wanted to scream but Jack sealed her mouth with his own.

She felt him drive into her one last time. He shuddered heavily and opened his mouth against hers. Kate found herself swallowing his fierce shout of satisfaction, just as he had swallowed her softer cries.

When it was over, Jack scooped Kate off the desk, staggered to the bed and collapsed with her onto the cushions.

A/N: Ok so i'd like to make some things clear. I know i've made Jack and Kate too into sex considering their age and all but i swear i'm not turning them into sex addicts. It's just, you know, the start of their sex life and they're somewhat excited. I'll make them capable of doing other things than sex in the future so don't worry...:D And i'm sorry in advance for any potential delay...i'll try my best guys...pinky promise :D


	29. The one

A/N: Hey you guys! Here i am again with a new update... I'm glad to tell you that i got 95/100 on my ancient Greek exam, YAY!!! The sad thing is that i have to study now Latin cause i have a test next week...But no worries i'll try to update before that! Anyway, here's the next chapter. It's a bit shorter that the previous ones but it's angst-free so i hope you'll like it...

Chapter 29

Two weeks had passed. Two weeks since Jack and Kate, Kate and Jack had started going out, as people said. They were the most popular couple of the high school. They were enough famous and well-received as individuals, but when combined together, they were like the King and his Queen. Yeah, it sounds stupid, but stupid was most students' reactions. That's high school, plain and simple.

Of course except for the fans, there were enemies too, headed by the one and only Juliet Williams. Yeah that's right, Juliet hated Kate and she'd rather die than accept that Jack is with her. She was living in denial, thinking that Jack was losing his mind for being with Kate Austen, a nobody. She would laugh at her, snicker and make lame jokes, but Jack was always to her rescue. Although Kate would have easily make her shut up, Jack didn't want his girlfriend to get expelled.

Their friends also got into fights with the blond Bimbo, each one enjoying every minute of it. Shannon had once started bickering with Juliet but ended up on detention. Later she cried, not because of the fight or the detention, but because she was this close to punching Juliet before the principal interrupted them. It was a funny scene to watch.

Sayid of course was by her side, holding back his laughter for the sake of his beloved girlfriend. He was probably the only one against to this Juliet-war, at least until she made a mean comment about Shannon that is. After that he was probably the most passionate of all, since every good comment he made against Juliet he earned a lustful kiss from Shannon. Why stop?

Claire was probably the nicest of all, she didn't swear, didn't bicker, didn't get angry. Besides, she was the most effective of all, using her best movement; sarcasm. It was the most annoying, nerve-racking and irritating thing, at least for Juliet and that was good enough.

Charlie, the infamous rock-star of the gang, didn't bother with all of that. He was watching amused every time a fight erupted and was keeping notes. Later he would present a new anti-Juliet song, which made anyone who listened to it crack up with laughter. And when he saw that Claire actually enjoyed his songs, he got more inspired. Aaah…what does love do to you?

Jack and Kate were probably the two least annoyed by the Juliet issue. They were finally together and nothing or no one could spoil that. There were a few misunderstandings between the two and Juliet did have something to do with it, but in the end everything was well. Jack was trying his best to avoid her even though sometimes he couldn't. Kate was smart enough not to fall for Juliet's tricks but there were a few times she actually got jealous. Well, a little jealousy harms no one.

Juliet was now walking across the hall, tapping loudly her high heels and flipping her blond hair back, just like the blond bitch from all the cliché movies does. Kate, who was picking up her stuff from her locker, couldn't help but laugh as the thought of her tripping over and falling down came, into her head.

Hearing her muffled giggle, Juliet turned around with a cold glare and snorted.

"You see something funny?" she demanded from an amused Kate.

"Nope" Kate said beaming. She saw Jack approaching her and Juliet immediately put a fake smile on her face.

"You're lucky my soon-to-be boyfriend is coming or else i…"

"Or else what?" Kate said slamming her locker and turning fully to her. She knew Jack would never leave her for Juliet but she couldn't help but feel a little threatened. Juliet might be a brainless mean bimbo but that didn't mean she wasn't hot.

"What's going on?" Jack said as he reached them.

"Nothing" Juliet said flashing him her best smile. "I was just reminding Miss born-to-be-a-loser her boundaries" she snickered.

"And I was just saying to miss dumb witted skinny Paris Hilton wannabe that if she doesn't shut up I'm gonna stick my foot right up her ass and…"

"Okay, okay, I get it" Jack said raising up his hands to make them stop. "Juliet, were you going somewhere?"

Juliet snapped up her head and looked innocently at Jack. "See you later", she said winking at him.

Once she was out of sight Jack turned to look at his pissed off girlfriend. Before she would start bickering about Juliet he attacked her mouth, kissing her deeply. Kate immediately forgot about the blond intruder and kissed him back. After ten minutes of making out they were good to go.

"Any plans for Saturday morning?" Jack asked as they were walking out of school and towards their houses. The school was way too close to use a car, even though Jack had recently earned an old but good enough car for going well on school exams.

"Actually yeah" Kate said with a heavy heart.

"Why the long face?" Jack asked as he saw her reaction.

"Uh…Shannon wants us to go shopping…" she whined.

"Shop for what?"

"Prom" Kate said.

"Oh" Jack said surprised. He had totally forgotten about prom. "And what's wrong with that?" he asked.

"Firstly, shopping with Shannon is like running a Marathon while carrying bags of 10 pounds. Secondly, she'll make me buy a dress and I don't do formal dresses. And finally but most importantly…I don't have a date" she said without looking at him.

At first he thought she was mad at him for not asking her but he caught a glimpse of her and saw her trying to hide a smile.

"You don't huh? Well I don't either…" he trailed off, watching her closely.

"Hmm" she said absently, still not giving in.

"Yeah…you know, maybe we should go together…since we're both dateless and all…" he said and watched as she smiled cockily, "it won't be the best thing ever but…" he stopped as she turned to look at him wide eyed.

"Not the best thing?" she gasped.

"Yeah, you know…it's not like I like you or anything…I can barely stand you but…"

She gasped again and he was finding it harder and harder not to laugh.

She suddenly stopped gaping at him, frowned and turned away from him. She was walking faster now and he had to run to catch up with her. Having played enough this game, he laughed out loud and grabbed her by the waist. She didn't though turn around to look at him, she just kept staring straight ahead. He smiled at her stubborness and kissed the back of her neck.

"Kaaaaate…" he whined when she didn't look at him.

Nothing.

"Kaaaaaatie…" he tried again.

"Nothing.

"Baaaaaaby…" he said and she softened a bit. She loved it when he called her that. It was cheesy, but who cares?

"What?" she asked trying to sound harsh but failing.

"Will you go to the prom with me?" he asked sweetly kissing her earlobe.

"I don't know" she replied. "After all it won't be the best thing…" she shot back.

"Pleaaaaase…" he said doing his best puppy dog eyes.

She sighed in defeat, how the hell was she supposed to deny anything to him? Still, she held back a little.

"I'll think about it" she said firmly but gently.

Jack was satisfied by that and gave her a big kiss on the mouth. She softened immediately and kissed him back. "What am I gonna do with you?"

* * *

"Pffff….I'm so tired….Shan, please let's go home…." Kate whined loudly. 

Kate, Shannon and Claire had woken up at 8 am to go to the mall. As Shannon had claimed it was important to go early so that there wouldn't be many people. But now it was 2 pm and they still hadn't found anything, well except for Claire who had other problems like who would she go with at the prom.

They were all very tired but Shannon wasn't one to give up. She wanted a dress, she'd have a dress no matter what. Kate couldn't care less about the damn prom, she'd stay home if it was up to her. But Shannon would die before she let her friend miss prom, especially now that she had the boyfriend of her dreams.

"We won't go home until we find a perf….That's it!!!" Shannon squeeled once she spotted a dress in a store. She quickly got in, dragging the two exhausted girls behind her.

She immediately put on the dress and walked out of the dressing rooms to show it to her friends. Claire clapped excitedly and Kate smiled in happiness. The dress was perfect on Shannon. It was red, her favorite color, and was hugging perfectly her curves.

Shannon squeeled again and informed the store owner she was gonna buy it.

It was now only Kate that was dress-less.

"Guys, you know, let's just go. The prom is next Friday, I still have a week left and if I don't…"

"Not in a million years!" Shannon stopped her. "We're gonna find a dress for you, TODAY!" Shannon exclaimed with a new determination. Apparently the fact that she now had a dress made her all the more determined.

Another hour of walking through the stores followed and Kate was becoming depressed.

"Maybe I shouldn't go to the prom…" she trailed off miserably. She sure thought that prom was not such an amazing event but she wanted to go. She wanted to go with Jack. But after so many hours of pointless shopping,, she was starting to feel like she wasn't supposed to go to the prom. "I mean, maybe it's a sign…"

"Don't give me that shit" Shannon exclaimed. "Last year I was foolish enough to let you get away with not going to the prom but I'm not buying this again. You're going to the prom, dressed or naked. So what's it gonna be?" Shannon asked.

"Pfff…..come on Shan…apparently there's not a dress for me so…so…so…" she trailed off as she stared absently at a store.

Shannon and Claire turned to look at what she was staring and saw a beautiful, green dress on the shop window of a store. They gasped and kept staring at it, until Shannon, quickly and quietly, dragged them into the store.

"Hi" she said to the saleswoman. "Could my friend try on that dress?" she asked and pointed to the green dress in the shop window.

"Of course" the saleswoman replied smiling and she went to bring the dress.

Five minutes later and Kate was standing, more gorgeous than ever, in front of her wide-eyes friends.

"So?" Kate asked excitedly.

"I think…" Shannon started "I think I would turn gay for you" she said and everyone cracked up with laughter. Well except for Kate who looked worriedly at her friend.

"Kate you look perfect in that dress!" Claire piped in happily. "I think this is the one!"

"Yeah, I think so too" Kate said looking herself at the mirror. "You think Jack will like it?"

"Oh, girl" Shannon laughed. "If he comes to pick you up for the prom I think you'll be at least a couple of hours late".

A/N: Hmm...Prom is coming. I'm thinking of putting in a little angst in the next chapters cause i think all this fluffiness is getting kinda boring...Hmmm...what do you think?


	30. Trust Jack

_**A/N: Hey guys! Long time no see... I know an apology won't do much good but i really am sorry. This year is the most crucial in my entire life. You see i'm a senior in high school and my getting into college depends on my grade in the final exams which are only months away. I'm too stressed and too anxious about the outcome of it all, so time for writing is minimum to zero. I'm saying all this because i know how annoying it is when a story gets updated so rarely. I love writing and when i do, i get lost into this whole different world, forgetting about all my responsibilities and i hate it that i'm too busy to sit down and write. So please don't get mad at me for taking too long...i don't like it either.:(**_

_**Anyway, enough with the talking. Next chapter is up and since i took so long to update, i made it a bit longer. Enjoy and please tell me what you think!**_

Chapter 30

They say big disasters come during big happiness. That was Kate's fear for the last week, five days before Prom. Of course she didn't let the fear appear on her face or in her eyes, knowing that Jack could read her like an open book. At least when she was with him, the fear settled in the back of her mind, only to come back when they had to part.

Juliet's bickering and desperate attempts to break them up were not helping either. Kate knew everything she said was a lie and everything she did had a deeper purpose behind. But that didn't prevent her from feeling unworthy, at least for Jack's standards. She remembered the old days, when Jack was followed all the time by countless cheerleaders with long blond hair, tanned and fit legs and pretty flawless faces. He was like the God of High School.

And here she was now, taking the place that almost every girl from school and not only, would kill to have. Every time she walked through the hall girls would talk about her, whispering but loud enough for her to hear their surprised "What did he find in her?".

At first it was easy to ignore the comments, given that her mind was constantly on her new, handsome boyfriend and their passionate encounters. But after the new events sunk in and routine got back in their schedules, the rude whispers started to haunt her mind. The fear of not being good enough or failing to make Jack happy crept into the deepest of her heart and made her tear up every time she tried to sleep.

It was now Friday, one hour left until the class was dismissed. The students were overexcited for tonight's events and no one could blame them. Tonight Prom Queen and King would be announced. "Oh the joy" Kate thought as the bell rang finally and she quickly gathered her things.

She walked out of the class, keeping her head down, trying in vain to block the whispers out and reached her locker. She opened it in a matter of seconds, not wanting to be there for even a minute more. She could hear a faint giggle from behind her as a girl commented about Kate's choice of clothing. Two months ago she would be laughing with them, just to show them that she really didn't care. But now, now was different. It wasn't just about her, it was about Jack too. Whether she liked it or not, she affected Jack's life the way he affected hers.

"Hey cutie"

She jumped in surprise as Jack leaned against the locker besides hers, giving her his million dollar smile. His eyes twinkled and his smile was so genuine that every unwanted thought flew out of Kate's mind. At least for the moment.

"Hi you back" she replied giving him her own personal smile.

She glanced for a brief second at the blonds who were giggling before and saw them scowling with a tingle of satisfaction. The satisfaction grew deeper when she glanced back at Jack to see him staring at her with that loving face. At times like these Kate wondered how on earth was she so lucky to have someone like Jack love her.

"You okay?" he asked and for a moment Kate thought he had read her mind and found out about her stupid fears. But he had that look, the one he has on only when he flirts with and she realized he was just in a good mood.

She didn't reply, instead she moved closer to him and put her hands on his warm chest, watching in amusement as he inhaled sharply and started to lean in. She too closed her eyes and was ready to abandon herself in the passion that exploded every time they kissed only to be interrupted by a voice.

"Hey Jack" one of the blonds said in her so-annoying voice.

Jack turned around to look at the blonde, hiding the annoyance he actually felt and smiled.

"Yes?"

"I…uh…I was wondering if you're going to Jesse's party on Saturday night…" she said in her fake sweet voice.

"I…I don't know" he said scrunching up his face. Truth be told, he had completely forgotten about it. But it wasn't like he enjoyed these kind of parties. Well, he used to but now it was different. He turned to look at Kate who was standing quietly behind him, looking at the floor, a look of discomfort on her face.

"Well, I hope you'll come cause…I'm sure you remember that Jesse's parties can be a lot of…fun" the blond said with an air that surprised Jack. One would think that his girlfriend was not standing just a few inches away from him. He knew that Christie wasn't the nicest of girls but he didn't think she could be that much of a bitch.

He felt Kate take in a sharp breath and realized that he hadn't actually told her about his past…flirts. The truth was, that there was a time before and after Sarah that he was jumping from one girl to another. He winced as he thought what Kate's reaction would be and cursed himself for being such a brainless playboy once.

"Yeah well…a lot has changed since then" Jack said and reached behind him and grabbed Kate's hand. Feeling her reluctant response he decided it was time he got rid of Christie. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm kinda busy" he said with a fake smile and turned his back on her.

The blond hid her disappointment but left nonetheless.

Jack looked at Kate's concentrated look and sweetly caressed her face. "Kate…" she finally snapped up her head but didn't look at him for long. She turned around and started putting her books back in the locker, choosing the ones she would need to take home. She ignored Jack's look of concern, deciding not to show her vulnerable side today. Or any other day, for that matter.

"Kate" Jack tried again but Kate didn't budge. She knew she had no right to be mad at him for something he did when she was not in the picture but she couldn't help the green little monster that crept inside her. Jealousy sucks, she decided.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just thought…" Jack began but she cut him off.

"Don't Jack. " She said sharply.

"Please don't be mad…" he pleaded.

"Why would I be mad?" she laughed but the fakeness of it made Jack wince. "It's not like you cheated on me. Besides, you can't help it that you are the God of High School and have bunch of girls praying for a look from you" she said without looking at him.

"Kate that's not…"

"True?" she laughed again. "Come on Jack. I'm sure you've seen the way they look at me, like I'm worth less than crap. I know I've seen them." She muttered the last part under her breath but Jack still heard her.

"Kate stop" he said grabbing her by the shoulders and making her look at him. "You don't actually believe what they say, do you? I mean, after everything we've been through it'd be stupid to fight over something so meaningless. I love you and you know I have only eyes for you, don't you?" he said looking at her with those loving eyes that made her melt to the core.

"I know" she whispered getting lost in the depths of his beautiful eyes. "I just…" she trailed off averting her eyes from his, not wanting to cry from the intensity. "It's nothing" she whispered half smiling.

Jack looked at her, searching for signs that said the opposite but he found none. He was too happy and too in love to read her eyes and find out her insecurities. He grabbed her hand and started walking towards the exit, looking straight ahead and missing the look of fear that crossed Kate's expression. She would just have to deal with it.

* * *

"What happened today in the hall?" Claire asked looking up from her toes that she was currently varnishing.

What?" Kate asked, who was sitting at her desk, doing her homework. It sounded weird that she was studying on Friday night, for Monday, just hours before the prom, but she had found that it was the best way to keep her mind too occupied to think about Christie or Jesse or Juliet or Mary or Jane or Helen…and the list of Jack Shepard's ex girlfriends or just "hook-ups" as he called them went on and on.

After that little incident with Christie Jack had decided it'd be best to just lay all his cards on the table, not wanting to have secrets from her. At first Kate was happy to oblige but once he started saying names and names and names she started to regret the whole confession thing. She had only had one boyfriend while he had had three girlfriends and countless hook-ups. It appeared that after Sarah Jack was too devastated to be alone so he had made out with almost all the cheerleading squad. He did seem embarrassed and regretful for his actions but that didn't help Kate who was feeling her stomach tighten at every name he pronounced.

"Kate?" Claire's voice brought her back to reality. She looked up from her books to see her friend staring at her with a worried expression.

"Nothing…I was just…being idiotic" Kate said shaking her head.

"What do you mean?" Claire asked.

"Christie…appeared and she said something….you know, it doesn't matter. It's all in the past" Kate shrugged it off with a fake smile, returning to her book she was reading.

"Well, it's got to be something, cause you're all wired up since I came here." Claire said softly, not wanting to provoke her into snapping. "What did Christie tell you?"

"Well, nothing, not to me. She was just all flirty with Jack and she kinda brought up their previous hook-up…" Kate said looking down, feeling too embarrassed to look her friend in the eye.

"What? Jack hooked up with Christie?" Claire exclaimed wide-eyed. "That's impossible! He wouldn't cheat on you!" Claire yelled.

"Claire calm down. Jack and I weren't together when they hooked up. It was last year." Kate assured her friend.

"Oh" Claire said.

"Yeah" Kate sighed. "I just…I know it's stupid to be jealous of something that doesn't exist but I can't help it Claire! It's like all the girls from school had some experience from the infamous Jack Shepard and now every single one of them wants to have a taste again! I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do? Sit back and watch while some bimbo makes a move on my boyfriend? The boyfriend who was everyone's boyfriend not too long ago?"

Claire watched silently as her friend screamed and shouted. Once Kate was calmed and was trying to breathe, she decided it was time she talked.

"Kate" she said and went to sit next to her, taking her in her arms. She felt Kate's arms wrap around her as she buried her face in the crook of her neck and she felt it getting wet from her tears. "It's okay, honey. It's okay."

"What am I supposed to do Claire?" Kate whimpered.

Claire brought her head up, wiped away her tears and looked strongly in her eyes.

"Trust Jack"

* * *

"Relax man!"

"Yeah, easy for you to say"

"You just need to have confidence"

"Well, if you have any left, give something to poor me"

"Both of you, shut up!" Jack's angry voice was heard.

Shayid and Charlie were at Jack's, getting ready for the Prom. They were to leave in 20 minutes and go pick up the girls from Kate's house. But for the last 10 minutes Charlie wouldn't shut up about finally going out with Claire and Sayid couldn't stop teasing him about it. Jack was constantly lost in his own world, troubled by bad thoughts.

"Dude, why are you snapping at us?" Charlie asked his friend, watching him torture himself trying to put on a tie.

"Because you're getting at my nerves with all your bickering" Jack said strongly, not knowing why he was being so touchy all of a sudden.

"Dude, are you nervous?" Charlie asked watching at him strangely.

"I don't know, man…" Jack sighed, giving up on the tie. He sat on his bed putting his head in his hands and sighed again. Charlie and Sayid looked at each other, both wondering what the hell was wrong.

"What's up, man?" Sayid asked sitting down beside his friend. He knew him well enough to know when he was troubled.

"I….uh…I told Kate about…about Christie…" Jack mumbled.

"So what?" Charlie asked.

"Not just about Christie…I told her about the other girls too." Jack said softly.

"What?" Sayid asked surprised.

"You mean the girls you hooked-up with last year?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah" Jack said.

"Ouch" Charlie said and Sayid cast him a dirty look.

"Why did you tell her?" Sayid asked confused.

"Well, Christie came to me today at school while I was with Kate and asked me if I was gonna go to Jesse's party on Saturday, because as I should remember we ended up having so much fun together!" Jack said in a mocking tone and the other two winced.

"What did Kate do?" Charlie asked.

"Nothing" Jack's expression immediately softened. "She acted like nothing was wrong but I saw her eyes. She looked so…scared. I mean, I told her I loved her and that she was the one for me but I guess she wasn't very convinced. So i…uh…" he trailed off.

"You what?" Sayid asked.

"I thought it'd be better if I told her everything about my past…flings, so that there wouldn't be any secrets between us." Jack said and winced as he saw his friends shake their heads.

"Man, that was just…wrong" Charlie said.

"Yeah Jack, what the hell were you thinking?" Sayid asked.

"Well I was thinking that it'd be better if she found out from me what I did last year in stead of hearing a twisted porn story from a cheerleader." Jack said as a matter of fact.

"Well, you're right about that but still…Man, I can't believe you actually told her" Charlie said shaking his head.

"What? It's not that important, right? I was just fooling around…right guys?" He asked looking for some assurance that he hadn't royally screwed up.

"Well, fooling around is when you change a girl every Saturday. You actually changed them after half an hour. I remember at one party you managed to hook up with five different girls. Wow, you were my hero…" Charlie said with a smirk, only to get hit on the head by Sayid.

"Why don't you tell Claire about your view of the subject?" Sayid asked and Charlie glared at him.

"Guys, I'm the one with the problem here!" Jack said exasperated.

"Well, it's not like you cheated on her, right? I mean, it was way before you started seeing Kate in more than a friendly way." Sayid said.

"I know" Jack said thoughtfully. "But still…" he trailed off.

"Well I wouldn't blame her if she got mad" Charlie said and the other two turned to look at him. "I mean, she just found out her boyfriend used to be a man-whore…"

"Charlie!!!

"Damn it" Jack cursed and fell back onto his bed. "I knew I shouldn't have told her"

"Relax man" Sayid said. "It's not like you're that guy any more…Are you?"

"Of course not" Jack snapped. "I never meant to be such an asshole, not even back then. I was just pissed off with the Sarah situation and wanted to just quit being the nice boy everyone expected to see. I hate myself for being that guy back then. I just hope Kate won't push me away because of it…"

* * *

"You look…you look…look…"

"Horrible?" Kate said in an uncertain small voice.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Shannon said angrily. "Are you blind or something?" she asked and forcefully took Kate by her shoulders and brought her in front of the mirror. Kate looked herself up and down for a minute. She was wearing that green dress she had bought a week ago. It was silk, falling down to her ankles with a cut on the side reaching up to her thigh. It was tight on her blossom with enough cleavage to make a guy go wild and the straps of the dress were tied up behind her neck leaving half of her back exposed. She was wearing light golden high-heeled sandals and her hair was up in a loose bun, exposing her beautiful neck. She had little to none make up on her face and her lips barely glittered with the color of Shannon's lip glose. She was perfect.

"I guess I'm okay" Kate said cautiously and saw Shannon's temper rising once again.

"Now, listen to me Ugly Betty, I didn't spend one hour dressing you up so that you…"

Saved by the bell.

"Oh, the boys are here!" Claire chanted happily.

Kate, snatching the opportunity, went to Shannon and gave her a warm hug, whispering thank you in her ear. Shannon seemed to relax but she still managed to glare at her friend. "Let's go downstairs before I lose the last bit of patience I have left"

Claire and Shannon quickly descended the stairs and Kate watched amused as both Sayid's and Charlie's mouth hang open. She could swear she saw Charlie drool a little. She then caught a glimpse of Jack, who was smiling at his best friends but whose mind seemed to be elsewhere. He was fidgeting something in his pocket but Kate couldn't realize what that was.

"Kate?" Her mom's voice interrupted her thoughts and Kate turned to look at her.

"My,my…you look gorgeous baby girl" Diane said with tears shimmering in her eyes.

"Really?" Kate asked, looking for reassurance. She was having confidence problems, that was for sure.

"Really" Diane replied and took her daughter into a big hug. "Now go downstairs. Jack is about to faint from nervousness"

"Okay" she said and with a big smile started to descent the stairs.

Jack's eyes were upon hers in matter of seconds. He gasped and left his mouth hanging open. As she kept walking his eyes traveled all over her and Kate felt her whole body go hot. Afraid she was gonna slip by the intensity of his eyes she slowed down a bit, giving him the chance to drink her in, grope her with his brown eyes.

Once she was standing in front of him he snapped. Grabbing her strongly but gently by the nape of her neck he brought her mouth on his, swallowing her in the depths of his passion. Her hands found his strong arms and held on for dear life, as she traveled through heaven and hell by the lips of her own angel. The whistling from their friends and the lack of oxygen finally drove them apart. Jack looked at her in a way that had her insides dancing mambo. She knew he loved her, but that precise moment, they were more than just girlfriend and boyfriend, more than a boy and a girl. They were soulmates.

"It's wild in here" Kate said in a whisper, holding onto Jack's arm. They had just walked in the room where the Prom was happening and they could see tons of students on the dance floor, moving and dancing in the rhythm of the music.

Shannon immediately took Sayid by the hand and led him on the dance floor starting to dance. Claire and Charlie had gone to a private corner, softly speaking to each other, flirting and innocently touching. Jack watched as Kate looked at her two friends getting to know each other in a deeper level, just like Jack and Kate had when they started dating. Sensing he would never get a better moment, he slipped his hand in her own and started guiding her outside. Kate looked at him strangely but followed him silently.

Once they were outside Jack brought her in a secluded area, where the music from inside could be barely heard.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked watching his concentrated look.

"What? Oh nothing I just…I just wanted to give you something" he said looking in her confused green eyes. "I know your birthday is next week, but i…uh…I couldn't wait so…" he trailed off as he put his hand in his pocket and withdrew it holding something between his fingers. He took Kate's hand in his and gently slipped the ring on her finger.

It wasn't something extravagant, no diamonds and pearls, but it was a simple silver ring. It was beautiful. Kate looked up to him with tears in her eyes and tried to speak but found that she couldn't.

"It's a promise ring" he said softly, grazing it with his fingers. " My mom gave it to me when I was a little boy and told me to give it to the love of my life. It has my initials incised on the inside and as long as you keep it you'll know I'm yours"

Before he had a chance to say another word, Kate's lips were on his. She wrapped her hands around his neck and kissed him with all her love for him. She could feel the tears cascading down her face and falling between their locked lips, but she couldn't care less. She deepened the kiss, wanting more, needing more. She couldn't get close enough to him, even when he brought his hands on her bare back and drew her closer.

A few minutes later they pulled back, breathing heavily and smiling. He wiped away her happy tears and kissed each one of her beautiful eyes before burying his face in the crook of her neck and inhaled her intoxicating scent.

"Let's go back inside" she whispered giving him one more lingering kiss.

_**Leave a review:D **_


	31. Girl Talk

_**A/N: Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a great time:D **_

**Chapter 31**

Going to college is considered to be a blessing. However, choosing what college you want is another story. One would think it's easy, you just notice what you're good at or what your dream is and choose the appropriate college. But news flash…it's not easy at all.

A month had passed since the eventful prom and Jack and Kate were happily together. Well, they did have their fights, intensive ones nonetheless. They basically consisted of Kate screaming and Jack screaming back, even slaps were exchanged. But they always ended up apologizing and…not playing board games, if you know what I mean. The couple had realized the pleasure of make up sex and they weren't willing to give up on that.

Other than that everything was normal, until the last week that is. The school year was finally coming to an end and the talk about college and future had started to dawn upon the students. Everyone was stressed and anxious, reading all kinds of college leaflets and asking teachers. Many of the students had already applied to some colleges and were now expecting answers.

Jack was one of those. He had already applied for Columbia, the most respectable university for wannabe doctors. Even though he had doubts, Kate was sure he was gonna get in. "I can feel it", she always said. Jack would just laugh and kiss her wrinkling nose.

Kate on the other hand had not applied for any college. Even the cheapest ones were too much for her mom's income. She could only hope for a scholarship but she wasn't counting on that. The only thing she was good at and loved doing was taking photos. Over a few years she had managed to gather enough money to buy a professional camera. The sad thing was that there were very few photography colleges and all of them were too expensive. Scholarships were rare and very few, so Kate had decided not to fret about it. She had sent some of her photos to several colleges but she decided against being hopeful so that any upcoming rejection wouldn't hurt her.

Besides, not getting into college now didn't mean she would just give up. No, she had all planned it out with Jack. Kate would go with Jack at Columbia, rent a place and stay together and while Jack would be attending his classes she would get a job and step by step she would make the money to finally attend her dream college.

Jack was more than happy with her decision, even though he still believed she had a chance with the scholarships. And even if she got in college they had reassured each other they would make it through. The distance would be a 2-3 hours drive, nothing crucial for their relationship.

They were now heading to Kate's place to hang out. They were walking, holding hands, a habit Kate loved. She looked up to see Jack deep in thought. She frowned at his serious face and squeezed his hand. "Whacha thinking?"

Jack's eyes snapped to hers, coming back to reality. "Uh…nothing…I just…Columbia's letter should have come a week now but I haven't got it" he said softly, trying to act indifferent.

"Oh" Kate said and watched as he hid his worry behind a frown. "I'm sure you'll get it soon. Probably they're drowned by hundreds of applications and don't have time to reply on time." Kate said trying to reassure him.

"Yeah" he said half-heartedly. He didn't want to be a pessimist but he couldn't help the worry that had crept inside him the last couple of days. He knew that students who were to be accepted received their letters early, and yet he hadn't gotten his. His father obsession with Columbia didn't help either, even though he knew he wouldn't be too hard on his son. He would definitely be disappointed though and Jack knew it. But apart from his father's feelings, he too would be disappointed. He dreamed of going to Columbia since he was a little boy and not getting in was definitely gonna come hard on him.

"Hey" Kate's soft but determined voice interrupted his thoughts. "You're gonna get in" she said strongly making him stop walking and look at her. "Your grades could not get any higher, your test results are up to the sky and you've got me as a girlfriend. That's gotta count for something" she said cheekily.

He laughed at the last part and brought her in for a quick hug. "What would I do without you?" he murmured in her ear.

"You'd be a miserable and pathetic excuse for a human being, that's for sure" she said smirking and she was happy to see that he was laughing again and not drowning into self pity. "You know, we could go by your house for a minute, check out your mail."

Uh…you sure?" Jack asked.

"Yep. Let's go! I wanna be there to celebrate with you!!!"

They walked the rest 10 minutes in silence when they finally reached Jack's house. Before Jack could say anything Kate had run off towards the mail box. Jack followed her, a little slower. Kate peeked in the mail box and saw what she was looking for.

"Aha!" she said in triumph as she withdrew from the box the letter from Columbia. She looked it up and then handed it to a very nervous Jack. Jack took it and just looked at it, still not dearing to look at it.

"Jack?" Kate nudged him gently.

Finally, he found the courage and ripped the letter open. Kate watched eagerly as his eyes changed, taking a darker color that prevented Kate from knowing his feelings.

He closed the letter and cleared his throat. Kate immediately saw the frown on his face and started to worry. "Jack…" her tone now had lost its cheerfulness and had taken over a more worried one.

Jack shook his head in a negative way and Kate could feel tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't believe it, no. There must be some mistake. Jack was meant to go to Columbia, she felt it in her heart. She looked at him and caressed his face.

"I guess…having you as a girlfriend really helped"

"Wha…" Kate looked confused until he saw the smirk on his face. "You…you son of…" she was interrupted by a cheerful, accepted by Columbia, happy boy who just crushed his lips against hers. He picked her up and twirled her around as she squealed and he laughed. He set her down after a while and she finally exploded.

"I can't believe you played me like that!" she yelled.

"I can't believe you bought it so easily! After all, you were so sure I was gonna get in. You could "feel it in your heart"" he mocked her with a teasing smile knowing that would get to her and loving how cute she was when she was mad.

"Do not mock me Jack Shepard! " Kate yelled wagging her finger at him in a warning way.

"Or else?" he muttered coming to stand dangerously close to her. He bent down to kiss her neck up to behind her ear, knowing it would drive her crazy.

"Or else…" she breathed out closing her eyes at the feeling of his kisses. ""Or else I won't give you my present"

"Present?" he croaked out as he continued kissing her, obviously more into kissing her than getting any present whatsoever.

"You don't seem very interested" she smiled as she pushed him off of her and he let out a disappointed groan.

"I'm more interested in what I'm about to do to you" he growled and attacked her neck once again.

"Then you'll be happy to know that the present is me in a new pair of lingerie" she whispered knowing he had definitely heard that.

"What?" he said as he snapped his head up to look at her with wide, lustful eyes.

"You heard me" Kate said cheekily as she started walking towards her house. Jack though was glued to his spot, watching her from behind as she gracefully walked.

"If you keep me waiting I'll may have second thoughts" she said without looking back, knowing he was staring.

At that words, Jack needed no more nudging. He started running towards her with a daydreamimg smile on his face.

* * *

"When's your mom coming?" Jack asked. He was lying on Kate's bed only in his boxers, one hand behind his head supporting it, the other caressing Kate's back. She was sprawled on his chest, naked and content.

"Mmm…in a couple of hours" she murmured kissing his bare chest. She looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest and smiled at him. "It was amazing" she said softly, trying to hold back the blushing but failing.

"Yeah?" Jack chuckled caressing her face that had now turned in a dark shade of pink. How she always managed to blush when she was talking about sex was beyond him.

"Yeah" she said and giggled while burying her face in the crook of his neck.

Jack just laughed and wrapped his hands around her, bringing her even closer. "Why are you embarrassed?" he asked softly and Kate just shrugged not knowing how to answer. "I know I'm a Sex God but still it's nice to hear it from a mere mortal as you" he said in a serious tone. At that Kate burst out in laughter. Jack looked at her, pretending to be offended, but a smile crept slowly on his face.

They fooled around for another 15 minutes until Kate saw what time it was and cursed.

"Shit" she exclaimed and got up searching for her clothes.

"What is it?" Jack asked enjoying the view of a naked Kate running around the room.

"I forgot Claire was coming by" Kate exclaimed and turned to look at him staring at her bare form. "Stop checking me out and get dressed!" she ordered putting on her new bra and panties, which Jack not long ago took off.

"You are a bossy little thing, you know that?" he said as he wrapped his arms around her middle and brought her on his lap.

"Jaaaack" she whined but didn't move.

"I loved my present" he murmured in her ear and she giggled.

"And I loved giving it to you" she murmured back and kissed him. Jack started to deepen it and Kate would have let him if Claire was not about to come in a matter of minutes.

She pulled out of the kiss and handed him his clothes, choosing to ignore his pout.

"Don't pout on me. I don't want Claire to walk into us being naked, even if she knows we're having sex."

"She knows?" Jack asked surprised.

"Of course" Kate said, surprised he even asked that question. "So does Shannon"

"Shannon too?" Jack asked and gulped.

"Jack, they're my best friends. Of course they know all the details" Kate said as a matter of fact.

"Details?" Jack was suddenly starting to feel light-headed. "You talk about…everything?"

Kate giggled at his ignorance. "Jack, haven't you ever heard of the infamous girl-talk?"

"Yeah, but I thought it was only about boyfriends…you know…who's dating whom…no?" he asked seeing as Kate was shaking her head.

"That's called gossip, Jack. Everyone does that. Girl talk is more…how should I put it…detailed. We talk about clothes, shoes, make-up, boyfriends, sex, moves…"

"You talk about moves?" Jack was astounded.

"And lengths too" Kate said.

"You mean…you mean…you've told Claire and Shannon about…about what we do…about what I do…?" Jack asked incredulously.

"Well, I can't say I'm very open with these things…but I've told them the basics." Kate said watching closely to see his reaction.

"The…basics?"

Kate giggled and sat on his lap. "Don't worry, you made a good impression" she said but that didn't calm him down.

"So they know…everything we do…?" he asked.

"No, silly" Kate said and kissed him. "I'm just messing with you"

Jack exhaled in relief. "You little…"

The bell suddenly rang and interrupted them.

"That must be Claire" Kate exclaimed and stood up.

Jack gathered his things and they headed downstairs to let Claire in.

"Oh there you are you two!" Claire smiled at the sight of them. "I wonder what you were doing" she said and winked at Jack.

Jack, embarrassed to the bone, blushed and looked down, while Kate giggled.

"I should leave. Bye Claire…Kate…we need to talk about that girl-talk" Jack said and gave her a knowing look.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Kate said innocently while Claire laughed out loud.

"Yeah, yeah play innocent. We'll talk later" and with that he was out, leaving the two girls to burst out in laughter.

"You told him we've talked about him?" Claire asked.

"Yeah, and he freaked out" Kate said.

"I don't get why he's worried. I mean, from what you've told me he's pretty…impressive" Claire said with a chuckle.

"I know but apparently he's too shy" Kate said. "Oh I almost forgot! He got into Columbia!" Kate exclaimed happily.

"Really? That's great! Oh I have something for you too" Claire said excitedly and gave Kate an envelope. "I suppose it's from a college you've applied to"

Kate looked at it and quickly tore it open. She looked quickly at the front page and gasped.

"What?" Claire asked anxious.

"They offer me a scholarship" Kate whispered. Claire screamed from excitement and jumped around like crazy. She quickly stopped though, as she saw that Kate was not celebrating.

"What? What's wrong?" she asked.

"It's from the American InterContinental University" Kate said.

"So?" Claire asked baffled. "I may have not heard of it but I'm sure it's a good one"

"That's not the point" Kate muttered.

"Then what is?"

"It's in London"

_**A/N: So that was it. The thing is, i feel like this story is getting boring. Dunno, maybe it's the lack of reviews or my major writer's block, but i've decided to wrap this up. I knew from the begining how i was gonna end up this story, i was just waiting for the right time to do it. Seems it's now. There will be probably two or three more chapters. I know you will all hate me for the upcoming angst but i cannot help it. It was planned from the begining. I'm telling you now that the end is not gonna be "And they lived happily ever after" but i'm not planning on making it too tragic either. Anyway, thanks for reading:D**_


	32. Unlike you

**Chapter 32**

Sorrow. Sorrow and sadness. Why? Why did this happen to her? Why did she have to get accepted now, now that she had it all figured out with Jack? Why?

Kate was torturing herself for the past couple of days, missing school, avoiding Jack and generally sulking. She had told Jack she had the flu in order to hide the true reason about her sulkiness and to prevent him from coming to see her, telling him it was contagious. He still was willing to come and visit her though saying he preferred the flu over not seeing her for two days but she had whined and whined till she finally won.

The truth was she couldn't bear to face him. She felt guilty, for something she hadn't done yet, for something that had simply crossed her mind. For thinking of going to London. Pfff, what a crazy and stupid and….and…stupid idea. She wouldn't go to London, she just couldn't. It was one thing to have to drive 2 hours to get to Jack if they'd been in different colleges but another to have to fly by airplane for 25 hours. It just wasn't possible. And what was completely impossible was to separate from Jack.

Or was it?

No. Nope. Absolutely not. Jack was the love of her life, her dream boy, her prince. So what if she got accepted in one of the most respectable photography colleges? What if she got offered a huge scholarship that would cover all the cost for going to London? What if her dream of becoming a photographer was just one continent away? She had Jack. Yes, Jack was enough.

Or not?

Kate knew she loved Jack more than anything, more than taking photos, more than any other dream she had. She knew that if she had to choose between being a photographer and being with Jack, Jack would win hands down. But would she be completely satisfied? Wouldn't there be a gab, somewhere inside her, that longed to be filled? Wouldn't there be that small voice in the back of her mind whispering "What if?"

What if?

Damn it. Why is life so hard? She now wished she had never sent those photos to London. Frankly it was before her and Jack had gotten together, even before she had realized she was in love with him. So, he couldn't really blame her for applying into that college. How the hell was she supposed to know that she would get with Jack not long after she sent those photos? Yeah, he wouldn't blame her…but she still felt like shit.

Her self pity was interrupted by her self phone that went off. She looked to see who was calling and she let out a miserable sigh. Jack. What was she supposed to tell him now?

"Hello?" she said in a small voice.

"Hey baby. How're you feeling?"

Well, considering I'm one step away from killing myself in order to save me from making the biggest decision in my life, I've never been better. Not.

"Uhh…I'm better I guess" she stuttered. "How're you?"

"Now, that I'm coming to see you, better."

"What? No no no no Jack…I'm…I'm sick…!" she coughed to get into the role.

"Couldn't care less." He replied as a matter of fact.

"But Jaaaaack…" she whined not knowing what else to say. He couldn't come now, no no absolutely not. She wasn't sick and he wasn't stupid so that he wouldn't figure out that she was hiding something. If he hadn't already.

"Well, you really have no choice coz I'm right outside your house. Care to open the door or should I jump from your window?" he said casually.

Shit shit shit shit shit. "Uh…I'm coming" shit shit shit shit shit.

She quickly looked herself in the mirror, noticing she looked like crap but not sick-crap. Jack was definitely gonna see through her. And truth be told she couldn't keep lying forever. Or could she?

The moment she opened the door two strong arms wrapped themselves around her and brought her against a solid and warm chest. She had missed him so much.

Jack buried his face into her hair and smelled her essence. "God, I missed you so much" he whispered.

And it only had been three days since he last saw her. Imagine what would happen if she went off to London. Disaster.

"I missed you too" she whispered back. "But it's only been three days and I'm not dying" she teased him.

He reluctantly withdrew his arms and took a look at her face. He seemed surprised and confused. "You're not…sick."

Kate sighed. She knew this was coming. She averted her eyes from his finding it extremely hard to lie to him. "I told you, I feel better today."

He grabbed her face between his hands and made her look at him. "You're lying"

Shit.

"Why would I lie about that?" she laughed and stepped away from him.

"You tell me" he said coolly.

He looked angry, she realized. "Jack, what's this all about?" she decided to act angry herself. Even though she had no right to be, she got irritated by Jack's ability to always read her like an open book. Why couldn't she hide something from him successfully?

"This is about you lying to me" he said as a matter of fact. "What's wrong?" he asked. His voice had now switched from angry to worried. Now it was ten times harder for Kate.

She felt the hot tears threatening to fall, her heart aching for what she was putting them through. She couldn't stand it any longer, she needed comfort, she needed her Jack. She wordlessly walked into his arms and wrapped herself around him. He looked taken aback but quickly recovered and brought her closer. He realized from the wetness on his shirt that she was crying but he didn't push her for answers, not yet.

After a while, they were both snuggled together on the couch. At first, Jack thought she had fallen asleep, but when he looked down to her, he saw her making vague patterns on his chest, her eyes looking cold and unreadable.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked gently, not moving from his position. He felt her tense up, even when he rubbed her back.

"Not really" she whispered and then chuckled at her immaturity. Here was an almost 18-year-old girl who couldn't find the strength to tell her boyfriend about something that wasn't really her fault. Technically it was, but practically it wasn't.

Having had enough, Jack grabbed her face in between his hands and made her look at him. He wasn't been harsh, just determined. He couldn't bear looking at her in this mess, and mostly not knowing what the hell was going on. Something with her parents? Something with her friends? Something with him? Only the thought that he had caused her so much pain made his stomach churn.

"Is this about me?" he asked softly, dreading the answer that would come.

In reality, he didn't have a clue. He didn't remember saying or doing anything that would possibly hurt her. But that didn't mean he couldn't have. No, he had learned his lesson. Just look at what they had to go through, just to become a couple. Tragedy and angst in teenage years was something for a TV show, not real life. And yet, he and Kate were the staring actors in this fucking reality show.

"Yeah"

Shit. So he stood corrected. He was the reason she was hurting right now, even after he had promised her he wouldn't hurt her.

"Did i…did I do something?" he asked unsurely. His eyes were so full of pain that Kate was taken aback.

"What?"

"What did I do to make you cry?" he asked again, the guilt in his look more than Kate could handle. "I swear whatever that was, I didn't mean it" he kept going, feeling his heart break even more when he saw fresh tears coming down from Kate's eyes.

"Jack, stop. It's not your fault…" Kate started.

"Then what's wrong Kate? I swear you're killing me right now" he said strongly.

Sniffling, she took a deep breath, tired of lying and just said it.

"I got accepted in a college that's in London"

Silence.

Through closed eyes, Kate imagined Jack's shocked expression. She surmised he was torn between feeling happy for her and at the same time sad for what that meant. She could have told him that she hadn't decided in going there but something in the back of her head or heart told her not to. That strange feeling that was torturing her all these days.

She still had her eyes closed, so she missed Jack's pained expression. He really didn't know what to think of it. He believed that he should question her about how that had happened or what she was planning to do, but seeing her reaction, he just got the answer he was afraid of. She was leaving him.

After all they'd been through, after all the pain, the tears, the heartbreak, the love, she was just…leaving. Him, her home, her friends, him, him, him. He knew he was being selfish and probably a brainless jackass, but he couldn't help but get angry at her. Angry for not telling him, angry for applying there in the first place, angry for going.

Abruptly, he stood up, leaving her sitting on the couch. He didn't dare looking at her, didn't dare let the tears spill from his eyes. He brushed his hand through his short hair, thinking of something to say to her, something other than "How could you do this to me?"

He was trying, really trying not to get mad and start yelling at her. He knew this was big for her, getting into college, following her dream. But what about his dream, their dream of being together no matter what? What about all those promises? What about…him?

"Jack", she pleaded, "please say something"

"What do you want me to say Kate?" he asked as coldly as he could, still not looking at her. He could feel her eyes watching his every move, his every reaction. And he tried, he so exhaustingly tried not to hurt her, to make it easy for her, to just accept what she was doing. But, hell. This was too much, even for him.

"When were you gonna tell me anyway?" he remarked angrily, now turning to look at her with a new fire in his eyes. Anger. Betrayal.

"I…uh…i…"

"Or did you want to tell me from the airport when you were about to dumb me and I just ruined your surprised? If that was it, then I truly am sorry." He said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Jack, please I was gonna tell you, I just…" she trailed off.

"You just what Kate? Decided to throw away everything we have and not even tell me about it?" he yelled at her.

"I haven't decided anything yet!" she yelled back.

"Oh please, you were literally sulking into your own self pity. Why would you do that if you had decided to stay here? Huh? Tell me, why Kate?"

He was getting meaner and meaner by the moment. Kate couldn't hold back for much longer. She knew he wasn't gonna react well at the news, hell she was expecting such an outburst but the coldness of his voice had taken her aback.

She didn't answer to his question, firstly because she knew he would have an immediate reply to it and secondly because she really didn't have an answer. All these days she was beating herself up for something that she supposedly hadn't decided. But now she realized her decision was made the moment she lied to Jack.

"I'll tell you why, Kate. Because you want to go to London, you want to leave, you want to get away. And you didn't even have the decency to be honest about it" he said the last sentence in a soft but so heartbreaking way, that made Kate let out a loud sob. This was not supposed to be like this.

"Stop" she said in shaky voice, but he was too angry to hold back, too hurt to realize how much he was hurting her. He was blinded by the pain and his heart could not break any further.

"You don't care about your mother, you don't care about your friends and you don't give a shit about me!!!" he yelled. He was close to tears by now and Kate was desperately sobbing. How did it come to this?

"Stop it!!!" she screamed. She knew she had no right to be angry at him, but he was asking for it. "Will you just shut up for a second and let me explain?"

He was breathing so hard, she thought he was gonna have a heart attack. He turned away from her, not bearing to even cast a glance at her. Sure he could let her explain but that didn't mean he had to look at her. It wouldn't change anything. She was leaving and he was staying behind.

"I got the acceptance letter three days ago. Claire brought it in when you were leaving after we…we…" she trailed off, painly remembering their passionate love making. "Yeah. Anyway, I had absolutely forgotten I had applied to that college…you see I had sent some photos to that college before we even told each other…you know…we were still friends Jack. I didn't know…I couldn't have known that…that…"

"It doesn't matter Kate. It really doesn't" he said shaking his head. Avoiding her full-of-pain eyes, he turned around to leave.

"Why are you being like this?" she asked loudly making him stop. "Why? I thought you cared about me, cared enough to want me to succeed in something. You can go off to college, become what you always wanted and I should stay behind waiting for you to come pick up my pieces?"

"Don't you turn this on me!" he warned her.

"This IS on you!" she yelled, finally finding the courage to talk back. "It's easy for you to talk when you've got everything you wanted! You don't have to worry about your future, you've got it all sorted out for you! Money is like shit-paper for you but guess what, not all of us can go to a so respectable and expensive university with our daddy's fortune! Some of us have to try, have to hope and have to suffer through disappointment in order to succeed! So stop blaming me for making up the courage to do something with my life because you would do the exact same thing!!!"

She was out of breath. Not only because she was yelling for too long but also because she talked before thinking. She knew she shouldn't have said those things, especially the things about his dad and his money, but she really was numb inside. So numb that she was feeling nothing, even when he saw the sadness in his so beautiful brown eyes. Only now did she realize how deep she had pushed the knife.

"No Kate" he said looking at her through dark eyes. "Unlike you, I would never leave you behind".

And with that he was gone. Gone through a door of pain and heart-ache. Gone with his sorrow but without his heart. It was broken into million pieces and was now lying on the floor, sobbing and hurting. Kate. A fragile wreck on a storm of emotion.

_**A/N: Yeah, yeah i know. I'm a mean bitch. I really can't help it. It was planned from the beginning and you know i'm an angst-lover. To those of you who are pissed off at me, please know that i won't leave it like that. I wouldn't dare :D But whatever your opinion is, please just let me know. I hate being in the dark.**_

_**As for the ending, i still need to write another chapter or two before i write the epilogue. I know it took me almost a month to update and i would apologize if it made things any better. But it doesn't. So i can only promise you that i'll try for next time.**_

_**Oh and LOST IS BACK!!!! Did you see that freaking hug??? All those jate scenes??? Awww our jate is back!!! Brace yourselves people, we're in for a very jaty season:D **_


	33. Find a way

**Chapter 33**

He was invisible. He was there, but somehow not there. He existed but you couldn't tell if you didn't look closer. He was just breathing.

Kate inspected him from where she sat in the classroom. He was acting like a zombie, no talking to anyone, no eating, no paying attention to teachers. Professor Artz had to hit him on the head to make him raise his eyes and look at him. But still he didn't talk. Sayid, watching his friend losing it, he had told the teachers that Jack was sick, too sick. So they had left him alone.

Kate's eyes though were on him every moment, every second. She scrutinized his face, the way he moved, the way he averted his gaze from her face. He hadn't looked at her, let alone talk to her, since that tragic day, when Kate told him about the college in London. A week had passed but to Kate it seemed like a century.

She had approached him too many a times but found the courage to talk to him only once. And that once hadn't gone very well. She had walked towards him, with fear all over her, and whispered a faint : "Jack?" She watched as he tensed, the muscles of his back contracting and his head staying down. He didn't even look up. He gathered his bag and stuff, turned his back to her and walked the other way. After that, she didn't try again.

While disaster occurred to school, disaster occurred to her house too. Kate had told Diane about the college, only because she thought her mother wouldn't let her go. So the choice wouldn't be made by her. But her mother's reaction had surprised her. Not only did she let her go but she also got mad that she hadn't already replied positively to the college in question. Kate's heartbroken face gave her the answer.

The talk that followed haunted Kate's thoughts for long after.

"_I understand why you can't make up your mind and believe it or not I won't push you towards the choice I believe is best. That's up to you. I'm gonna be proud whether you go to college and become a great photographer or not. I won't hold a grudge against you or even Jack for keeping you back because I know you'll be happy having the man you so deeply love and loves you. But I want you to think, think hard the gab that will exist inside you if you back out from this chance you're given. Do you want to regret one day the choice you made and live with it for the rest of your life? If you're sure, 100 sure that Jack will make you whole even when your dream to be a photographer won't become true, then I say rip the damned paper and go make up with Jack. But if you have the slightest of doubt, in the back of your mind then consider what is it that you're about to sacrifice. I'm your mother and I love you no matter what. Just remember that you're perfect for me no matter what you choose and everything will fall into place."_

The doubt did exist in the back of her mind. But every time she pictured herself in London, attending her dream college, Jack's face would appear in front of her asking why she would leave him. It was painful to say the least.

She had now three days until she had to send her positive or negative reply. And seeing how things had turned out between her and Jack one thing was certain: her answer wasn't gonna be positive.

* * *

"Are you sure?"

"No but that's not the point" Kate said with a sigh. "I'm not sure about the college thing but I am 100 certain about the Jack thing. I love him too much to do this to him"

"But he's being selfish, Kate!" Shannon said passionately. Claire and Shannon had come to visit Kate when she decided to tell them what her decision was. Needless to say they both had objections.

"I hate to say it, Kate, but I think Shannon's right" Claire said. "You know Jack is my friend and I do care about him but what he's doing is completely and utterly selfish"

"What are you both talking about?" Kate snapped. "I'm the one that's being selfish! I'm the one who's risking everything only to go to a stupid college! I'm the one who's ruining everything!"

At this point, Kate was sobbing uncontrollably. Claire and Shannon immediately hugged her close to them, shaking her back and forth to make her calm down.

After a while Kate wiped away her tears and looked at her two best friends.

"Enough about me. What's going on with you two? Anything new I should know?"

Shannon giggled while Claire blushed and sent a deathly glare to Shannon.

"What?" An interested Kate asked. Anything irrelevant to Jack or college was joy for Kate. "What happened?"

"Quess who kissed Claire!" Shannon said excitedly.

"What? Who? When? Tell me!!" Kate screamed jumping up and down.

"Alright, alright, alright" Claire said, " just shut up already"

Kate immediately stopped screaming and looked at her friend with curious eyes.

"Well?"

"It was nothing, really. I was walking home yesterday when Charlie showed up and…"

"Oh my God!! Charlie kissed you?" Kate squealed so loudly that Claire had to cover her ears to prevent ear damage.

"I know" Shannon squealed just as loudly

"Pff…I give up with you two" Claire said frowning.

Their squealing got interrupted by the bell.

"Thank God, my ears can't stand any more squealing" Claire said with a thankful sigh.

"Oh shut up. You know you want to squeal a little too" Shannon said.

Kate went to open the door, giggling and thinking it was her mother, but her laughter stopped the moment her eyes met the brown ones, those eyes which haunted her day and night, those eyes that she longed to see for the past week.

"Jack"

The clutter from the living-room immediately stopped, when the girls heard Kate gasp the name of her boyfriend. Shannon looked at Claire, indicating that they leave but Claire with a stubborn shake of her head indicated otherwise.

"We're not leaving just yet" Claire whispered.

"What? Are you stupid? Why should we stay? They are probably gonna make up" Shannon hissed to Claire.

"Exactly. Although I love them together I don't want Kate to make the biggest mistake of her life" Claire hissed back.

"And by mistake you mean staying with the man you love instead of risking to lose him forever?" Shannon said incredulously.

Their bickering got interrupted by Kate walking in.

"Guys, could you please give us a second?" Kate asked.

Her face color had changed, from the soft pink it was before now it was white as snow.

"Kate, honey, I think it'd be best if we stayed…" Claire started.

"Claire, _honey_, I think I'd be best if you shut the hell up" Shannon said through gritted teeth. "We're leaving, Kate. Call us later, ok?"

"Ok" said an expressionless Kate.

Once they were gone, Kate led Jack to the living-room, though he knew perfectly well where it was. It seemed like there was a wall of tension between them, making them both uncomfortable.

Jack was expertly avoiding her gaze while Kate was scrutinizing his face for any signs of what the hell he was doing there. And when she was finally starting to lose her patience he spoke.

"I'm sorry"

That was definitely not what she expected.

"What?" She asked not even trying to hide her surprise.

"I'm sorry", Jack said again. "For the way I've been acting….since…since you told me about the college" he said softly. His eyes were like glued to the floor and he was fidgeting like a little boy.

"Jack…" she started desperately.

"No, Kate just listen. This week…I was… I was a selfish prick…I know admitting it won't erase the last few days but I want you to know that…that…I'm happy for you" he finally looked at her and Kate gasped at the intensity in his eyes. They were red and she could tell he was on the verge of tears but he was holding back for her sake.

She couldn't last any longer, couldn't help the longing she felt inside her for the man standing in front of her. She run straight to his arms and hugged him like there was no tomorrow. She let out a sob when he hugged her back and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

"I missed you so much" she cried on his shoulder.

"I missed you too" he whispered back, holding her just as tight.

After a while of hugging and just touching each other they pulled back to look deeply into each other's eyes.

"I'm so so sorry, Kate" Jack started again, "I was just taken aback and only thought of myself…"

"No no no Jack. You were right to be mad, you had every right" she whispered and started kissing him all over the face. His eyes, his nose, his cheeks and finally his lips. She got lost in the love his lips ignited in her and forgot all about colleges and future and anything else outside her love for the boy who was kissing her.

It had been so long since they last kissed. Jack let out a happy sigh and deepened the kiss, enjoying every touch of their lips, every touch of their tongues. Their mouths attached and their hands all over each other they fell on the couch with a loud thud that had them both bursting into laughter.

When they finally managed to stop laughing Kate was on top of Jack. She looked at him through bashful lashes and bent down to peck him on the lips. He was staring at her like she was an angel fallen from the sky, he caressed her like she was a doll about to break, he inhaled her scent like she was a living rose. He was breathing for her.

"I love you so much" he breathed out, watching as the corners of her mouth turned up and she let out a happy sigh.

"I love you too" she whispered, her lips just an inch above his." That's why I'm not gonna leave you"

Silence.

"What?"

Kate looked up to see his surprised expression. "I'm not going to London Jack. I'm staying here" she smiled but then turned serious when she saw the look on his face.

He gently took her off him and sat up on the couch, not facing her.

"When did you decide that?" he whispered.

"I…uh…I guess I wasn't sure about it, but now I am. Why? I mean, you're not happy? I thought…" she trailed off. His reaction had definitely surprised her.

"Damn it. I knew I was gonna screw this up" he swore and stood up, starting to pace.

"What the…? Jack? What are you talking about?" Kate asked standing up too.

He didn't answer, he just kept pacing until Kate grabbed his arm and made him stop.

"Jack! Why the hell aren't you happy?" she asked getting irritated. "Isn't that what you wanted in the first place?"

"No! Yes! No! Arghh…Kate this is…God damn it!"

She was really confused now.

"Jack…I really don't understand" Kate said softly, hoping that he'd start explaining.

"The reason I came here…was because I wanted to tell you that I love you…"

"I know that Jack. But what's the probl…?"

"Please let me finish Kate" he pleaded with her.

"Ok"

"I wanted to tell you that I'm happy for you, proud that you finally got acknowledged, because…because you deserve it Kate, you really do. That's why…that's why I can't let you decline the offer…I won't"

"What?"

"I won't be that guy Kate. I won't be the one to lose you your dream, your future. I won't"

"Jack…" she whispered touching his face, "I don't want anything else, I thought I did, but I don't. All I want is you, just you" she said sincerely but he shook his head.

"You say that now Kate. But in ten years from now you'll wish you had gone your way, fulfilled your dream and become someone great. I can't take that from you"

"Jack, stop it…just…stop it. I'll never regret staying with you, never" she said with tears in her eyes. "I love you and I always will"

"I know Katie, I know" he said holding her face. "And I love you too, that's why I can't let you sacrifice your dream for me. Last week I was a jerk, I was surprised and didn't know how to react. But after our talk I felt like shit Kate, that's why I wasn't talking to you all this week, I was too ashamed."

"Jack please…listen to me. I only want you. Just you. Please believe that" she begged him with tears spilling from her eyes.

"It's okay Kate. It's okay. I know you love me but I also know that I'll never forgive myself if I deprive from the world the amazing talent that you are. I can't keep you back and I won't. Please understand that and I promise you we'll find a way to make it work. We'll find a way."

**A/N: Yeah i know, "The bitch finally updated!" I can't blame you for being mad at me but i can't do something about it... My apologies won't do much but i really am sorry! I don't know what else to say for the late updates anymore just that i really appreciate your waiting. Anyway, about the story, i'm thinking of writing another chapter and then the epilogue to wrap it up the way i imagined it. So, yeah, this story is coming to an end so i'd really appreciate any comments you have to make, good or bad. Thanx for taking the time to read my story, you don't know how good it feels to know that even a few people like it. Thank you!**


	34. Let's make a deal!

_**A/N: Unbelievable, i know. Me updating?Sounds like an April fool's joke. BUT got you! I actually sat down and wrote. Yay! Seriously now, i want to apologize for not updating. An apology won't do much but at least i do feel aweful, so yeah...Anyway, this is the last chapter before the actual epiloque. I've told you before it's gonna be bittersweet and i hope you won't be mad with me. It's what i had planned fom the beginning. Anyway, i hope you'll enjoy the chapter. It's way bigger than the previous ones just because you readers are the coolest people :D (and because i had to make it up to you for waiting so long). Enjoy!**_

**Warning: There will be sexual situations and sexual innuendos. **

**Chapter 31**

The next couple of months flew by too fast for Kate's liking. After Jack and she made up and Kate sent her positive response to London's college, they decided not to talk about the subject of her leaving again, at least not until the last days of her stay.

School was over and graduation was exactly like those in teenage chick flicks. Kate posed with Jack in front of the camera, secretly feeling her heart flutter at the thought of leaving all this behind. Sure, she wouldn't miss school, as in class, lessons, teachers but what was truly the school for her, friends, fun, love, Jack.

Jack, as agreed, didn't talk about her leaving at all and always appeared happy, giddy even excited. But Kate caught him several times staring at her with a sad smile or a look of longing in his eyes. She didn't tell him anything about it, just kissed him with all her love and it was all better.

The preparations for London were all made by everyone but Jack and Kate. Diane took care of the college's paper work, paid the limited money needed for her daughter's stay in England and booked the airplane tickets. She was planning on going with her, to supervise the place before leaving her loved child alone in the lonely streets of London.

Shannon and Claire with the help of their boyfriends (yes, Charlie finally asked Claire out) did the packing up for Kate. They knew Kate was gonna leave it all for the last minute, managing to arrive to the airport without half of her baggage and her passport, mainly because her mind was utterly and totally on Jack at the precise moment, so they decided to help their friend out. They tried to do so discreetly so as to not upset an already upset Kate but didn't succeed. Every time Kate took a look of the packaged stuff felt a sick feeling in her stomach that had her tearing up and running to the bathroom. That was when Jack usually came in to save the day. With means like promises, kisses and love confessions, he always managed to cheer her up. At least until the next time that she realized she was leaving them all behind.

Though it might appear that all this was happening without Kate's consensus and against her deepest desires, she actually found herself picturing how her dream college would be. She hated to admit it out loud but she was secretly smiling whenever she thought of herself taking photos of the Big Ben.

Not only that but her dad had returned safe and sound. They had spent a good amount of time together, filling in the gaps that had been created during his absence. Sam had proudly accepted Jack as the boyfriend of his daughter, not that there was even a chance that they would break up if Sam didn't agree. But it was a good thing he agreed, a boost to Jack's confidence.

When the news for Kate's acceptance in an English college reached Sam's ears, he was surprisingly warm. One would think that he'd be disappointed, losing his daughter now that he had finally found her, but he reassured both Kate and her mother that he would pay numerous visits to the so called English College. He even found a place to stay for whenever he visited her.

Jack's parents on the other hand, although they too appeared sad about Kate's leaving, they were in parent's heaven for their child was going to Columbia University. They were as proud as any parent would be, and a bit more. Seeing them acting like that always made Jack feel better, even forget about the pain Kate's leaving was causing him. He too felt excited about going to the college of his dreams, his father's dreams.

"Jack, the Smiths are coming tonight. You know, their son recently graduated from Columbia, he could tell you lots of…"

"Mom", Jack interrupted with a chuckle, "I don't need anyone telling me whether Columbia is easy or difficult. I'll try my best no matter what" he reassured his mother. It was a common thing for the Shepards this certain summer to bring as guests as many Columbia graduated as possible. "No need to worry"

"I _do_ worry" Margo said quietly while sitting next to where Jack was lying on his bed, listening to his ipod. "Not for your grades and not for your future. But for your heart"

Jack's eyes darkened and he looked away from his mother. All the time after everyone found out about Kate's leaving, Jack pretended everything was cool. He smiled when he had to, laughed when something funny was said. But only his mother could see behind all this act and realize just how much pain her son was suffering from. He didn't want to be weak but his mother always found a way to push on certain buttons to make him burst.

"It's fine, mom, really" he said unconvincingly.

"Look at me, son" Margo insisted and when he finally looked at her she was surprised by the pain shown in her son's eyes.

"You're such a brave boy" she whispered in a loving tone while she wiped away the lonely tear that Jack allowed to fall from his eyes. "I'm really proud of you"

"Mom" Jack choked out right before tears started falling freely from his eyes. His mother wrapped her arms around him and held him while he sobbed, his pain, his anger, his love. She knew he was keeping all his feelings deep inside, hidden from his friends, from Kate. He didn't want to be weak, he didn't want to cause Kate to think about not leaving. He was pretending he was okay with her leaving because that was the right thing to do, the right for her.

"I love her so much mom" he cried while still keeping his face buried in his mother's shirt, too embarrassed to look up.

"I know son, I know" she whispered while caressing his head feeling helpless, not knowing how to fix this, fix her son's shuttered heart.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore" he admitted bashfully while wiping away the tears.

"Do what?"

"Pretend" he said and looked into his mother's eyes. "I don't…I can't…I just…I can't lose her mom, not now, not ever" he said desperately.

"What are you talking about, Jack? You're not gonna lose her, she's just moving in another country, she's not off marrying some other guy. Besides you're gonna visit her lots of times and so will she…"

"You don't get it mom" Jack desperately interrupted. "Long distanced relationships don't work, can't work. At first it's okay, both parts long to see each other. Then, it becomes tiring and patience runs thin. And finally, it all turns out to be too much. Both parts agree that it'll all be better if they just split and game over. I've seen this happening too many times to just ignore the similarities with my relationship with Kate."

"Jack, this is nonsense. I think you've been watching too many television shows. This is not what will happen between the two of you…"

"How can you know that, mom? How can you know that Kate won't just wake up one day and decide to move on from the long distanced boyfriend? How can you know that she won't just give up on us?" he demanded from his mother.

"Because I know Kate, that's why. She's not that kind of girl, you and I both know that. She'll be damned before she loses the man she so loves. I see the way she looks at you Jack" Margo said, trying to persuade her son, "and what I see is true love. True love doesn't get lost by unimportant things such as distance."

Jack didn't reply to that. He just shook his head indicating he was not at all convinced. Despite her honest attempt to assure Jack about Kate's love, she too was scared of the possibility. It wasn't uncommon, even for true soulmates, to grow apart due to long distance. Taking a determined sigh she decided to be honest.

"I admit, it's not gonna be easy." Margo said and watched as her son put his hands over his head, resigned to the idea of losing Kate.

"Jack" Margo said, taking his hands away from his face so that he would look at her. When he did she continued "Sometimes, even true love gets separated. Even two people who breath through each other, are forced apart. But other times, true love prevails and the couple leaves happily ever after" she sighed. "You can't just love and wait for the rest to come. You need to take risks, to take a chance. Who knows what the future holds? No one. So all you gotta do is live and try the best you can to get what you want. But when you can't, you let it go, and hope that one day it will come back to you. You need to let Kate go, son. If she doesn't come back to you, you'll know it was not meant to be. But if she does, "she smiled sweetly at him, "you'll get your happy ending."

Jack stared at his mother for a long time, trying to absorb every single word she said. It was refreshing to hear some honest talk after everybody's attempt to reassure him that nothing was gonna change. Finally someone had the decency to step up and admit that what Jack and Kate had now, would be gone, at least for the next few years. It hurt, but it was better that hoping for something that was hopeless.

"Thanks, mom" he whispered and smiled. He kissed his mother's cheek and checked his watch. Gasping, he quickly sat up and started getting ready.

"Where are you going?" Margo asked.

"I'm meeting the guys in five minutes"

* * *

"What about this?"

"Shan, will you stop with the "I heart America" shirts? I'm just moving to another country. I'm not going unpatriotic for crying out loud!" Kate said exasperated.

Kate and Shannon had gone to the mall to get the supplies missing from Kate's luggage. It was the last day before Kate had to leave. The last 16 hours given that it was 4 pm at the precise moment and Kate's plane was leaving at 8 o'clock am. Shannon had demanded they go shopping considering that Kate was still short of things such as shampoo, toothpaste and other stuff. Kate had tried to persuade Shannon to get off of her back saying that she could buy all this stuff from London but a very patriotic Shannon denied to let her friend go off without American supplies.

"Can we go home now please? I'm too tired" Kate whined while being dragged by the blonde. Shannon looked at her watch and with a small smile nodded.

"Yes, we're cool now" she said while Kate frowned.

"Weren't we cool before?"

Fifteen minutes later they arrived at Kate's place. Kate tried to open the door while Shannon jumped up and down giggling.

"Are you pmsing or something?" Kate asked confused.

She didn't get to ask her friend about her strange behavior though given that once she stepped inside her house a loud SURPRISE made her jump to the roof.

A group of people, familiar people, gathered around her and hugged any part of hers that they could reach. Their loud voices covered the happy giggling of Kate who got buried under a mass of arms. The hugging continued for another minute or two until Claire the savior yelled for them to move away or else Kate would get suffocated.

Stepping back a couple of steps Kate took a look of her friends. Claire, Charlie, Shannon, Sayid, Hurley, Sun, Jin and Jack. A sudden wamth flew inside her and made her tear in joy. She couldn't believe she had all those great friends, caring for her, loving her as much as she loved them. She ran in tears and hugged every single one, lingering a bit more on Jack. Turning around she wiped the tears away and sighed.

"You guys are unbelievable" she exclaimed. "I'm gonna miss you so much"

"Aww don't cry" Claire said and hugged her. "We organized this to make you feel better not worse. Your mom allowed us to do all this on one condition :We had to make you smile. So smile!"

"Plus", Shannon jumped in, "we persuaded your mother to sleep over to a friend's house so you'd get to rock the house with Jack"

"Shannon" Claire gasped and Jack chuckled.

"Well, we didn't say THAT to your mother, but you know…" she trailed off while checking out her nails.

"Ok, after this little and totally inappropriate break, let's go back to the original plan. Let's have fun!" Claire said exctitedly and everyone started gathering in the living room.

After a horror movie that had them laughing instead of being frightened and loads of popcorn, the gang decided to play Truth or Dare. Well, actually Shannon decided and everyone else agreed to it after she threatened to attempt singing on caraoke.

"So Claire, truth or dare?" Shannon asked.

"Why me first?" she whined.

"Why, do you have something to hide?" Shannon asked suspiciously while everyone else laughed. "Just choose, Truth or Dare?"

"Fine. Truth" Claire said.

"What a chicken" Shannon rolled her eyes while Claire just glared at her. "Ok, so, tell me or tell everyone, how long have you been hot for Charlie?"

Claire gasped and everyone turned to look at her. Charlie looked a lot interested while Claire was sending daggers to Shannon.

"Come on, Claire bear. Spill the beans" Shannon teased.

"A couple of years" she admitted resigned. She was gonna get back at her later, she decided.

"Why didn't you say anything, babe?" Charlie asked cheekily earning a smack on the head form Claire.

"Anyway, it's my turn. Sayid, Truth or Dare?"

After a bunch of truths and dares, Shannon's turn was up again. She wondered whom she was gonna ask until she looked over to see Jack and Kate making out on the couch.

"Jack!" she yelled making them pull apart. "Truth or Dare?"

"Oh crap" Jack swore making everyone laugh. Everyone knew Shannon's demands whether they requested truth or dare were the hardest and most humiliating. No wonder she loved that game. "Uh, I'll go for Truth because I want to keep my underwear today" he said making them all laugh at the memory of Shannon making Jack lose his underwear at another game of Truth and Dare.

"Tell me, Jack" she said while raising her eyebrows, "which is your favorite position?"

Everyone gasped and those who were having something to drink almost choked. Jack turned red and Kate giggled though you could see she was embarrassed too. After all the positions _he_ took involved her directly.

"Dude, are we sure we want to know this?" Hurley exclaimed making them laugh.

"Come on, he doesn't have to talk about the details. Just the number. You know Kamasutra moves, right?" Shannon asked smiling sweetly.

"How could I not? I remember you tutoring us over the summer" Jack said and immediately regretted it given that it sounded like Shannon had _physically _tutored them. "Vocally!" he added

"Oh well, just tell us" Shannon demanded.

"Hmm….well, I guess it's the 70 one" he said thoughtfully.

"Dude, there're only 69 moves, even I know that" Hurley commented.

"I know that" Jack said with a cheeky smile.

"What's the 70 one?" a curious Shannon asked.

"A combination of all" Jack said with a proud smile that earned him a smack from Kate.

"Jack!" she said disapprovingly but laughing nonetheless.

"Is that even possible?" Sayid asked confused.

"Kate?" Shannon turned to the brunette wanting to know if he actually meant it or was just pulling their leg.

"Well…" she trailed off.

"Oh my GOOOOOOOOOD!" Shannon shrieked making them all cover their ears.

"Ewwwwwwwww I really didn't want to know that!" Claire whined along with the others.

Jack had burst out laughing trying to avoid an angry Kate who kept hitting him.

"Ok, ok, ok I think it's time to stop now" Shannon exclaimed.

"Before I puke my guts out" Hurley said. "No offence" he said towards Jack and Kate.

"Non taken" Jack said.

"Anyway, we should really head out. We've been here all day" Claire said and stood up. "Kate, honey, we'll come with you tomorrow at the airport. Ok?"

"Yep"

After everyone had left, Kate cleaned up the living room with the help of Jack. He seemed a little distant she realized. Like he was thinking hard about something.

She slowly crept behind him while he was putting the glasses in the sink and wrapped her arms around him. She felt him stiffen at first but then he relaxed and melted his body against hers. He abandoned the glasses and turned around to look at her.

She smiled up at him and softly kissed him on the lips. No matter how many times they had kissed she'd always feel that passionate spark inside her when her lips touched his. She couldn't believe how she was gonna make it in London without having Jack's lips whispering their love against her own.

She was the one to deepen the kiss and Jack followed her lead. Soon their tongues were exploring the depth of their love igniting a passion that could burn them alive. With a blissful sigh Kate buried herself deeper in Jack's hug and kissed him forcefully, showing him just how much she wanted him. Jack kissed her back with equal amount of want and need while he started pulling her shirt upwards, wanting to take it off.

They broke apart for a moment to get rid of the shirt and then dived into the zealous kiss again. They both started moving slowly towards the stairs while still trying to rip off each other's clothes. In between kisses Kate managed to free Jack from his shirt and dragged her hands all over him earning a deep throat groan from him.

They both kicked off their shoes and socks while their kissing became more desperate and needy. Their hands were all over each other and they were both panting in need. Kate's hands fumbled with Jack's belt and finally got it open. She the proceeded with the button and zipper while Jack was grabbing and fondling any part of hers he could.

Pulling apart, Jack surprised Kate by bending over and picking her up bridal style while continuing kissing and nipping her neck. The little moans she allowed spurred him on even more. He finally reached her bedroom and quickly pushed open the door. He carried her to her bed and let her down gently while following on top of her. They quickly got rid of their pants, leaving Jack in only his underwear and Kate in a pair of black panties and bra.

Being both almost naked, they slowed down. Jack looked into her beautiful eyes and saw the love he had for her reflected in her green pools of light. He bent down and caressed her nose with his own and kissed the tip of it making her giggle. He smiled too at her adoring expression and felt the insides of him melt at her very touch. She dragged her hands slowly down his back till he reached the front of his stomach. Before she could reach dangerously close to his want for her he distracted her by kissing her cleavage and unhooking her bra. He threw it carelessly away and bent down to burry his face in her perfect chest.

She arched her back and moaned out loud his name. She gripped his back tighter while he continued to ravish her breasts. Wanting to get back in the game she brought his face up to kiss him deeply while her hands lowered to where he was in need. Slowly and painfully she dragged his black boxers down his legs while she whispered incoherent but hot nonetheless words in his ear. He didn't waste any time as he too pulled off the tiny pair of panties she was wearing, allowing them both to admire the naked beauty of their love.

Kate reached to the table beside the bed and opened the draw taking one of the condoms she kept in there. She took care of it for Jack enjoying the blissful look on his face. Once she was done she wrapped he arms around his neck bringing him down for another mind blowing kiss. When he pulled back he took a good look of her gorgeous features and connected them in the most intimate way.

Their lovemaking was always passionate, hot and satisfactory, but this time it was even more. They connected in a higher level, with their heart and souls not just their bodies. The sweet words that were exclaimed were only to confirm the true love that united them. Their eyes locked and the desire in them set them on fire. Their lips and their bodies were writing history, the history of two true lovers.

When they finally reached their peak, heaven was a poor word to describe the place they were in. A lonely tear fell from Kate's eyes, dragging down the love she felt for the man who loved her so deeply. Jack kissed it away whispering his love in her ear wanting to keep this memory in his mind forever.

After a while Jack moved off of her and lied down bringing her on top of him, the way they always cuddled up after they had made love. Jack wrapped the sheet around them, warming their cool bodies. Kate buried her face in the crook of his neck with a happy sigh while he played with her brown almost black hair. This was his favorite time, of course after the actual sex activity. When they would snuggle keeping each other warm, listening to the beat of their hearts.

"I love you" he whispered with all the emotion he had inside him. He felt her sigh against him and knew she was smiling.

"I love you too" she replied and brought her face up to look at his cute face.

She studied him a minute too long and so did he. He wanted to remember every single feature of the girl named Kate Austen, no matter how long she would be gone. He wanted whenever he closed his eyes to see the picture of her, her captivating eyes, her luscious lips, her cute button nose and that smile of hers that made him melt no matter what.

"Will you come to the airport with me tomorrow?" she asked in a small voice.

She really didn't have to ask. Of course he would go with her, she knew that. But then again you can never know with Jack Shepard.

"No"

Silence.

She frowned and looked at him strangely.

"Why not?" she asked.

He didn't answer right away but just looked at her knowing that what he was gonna say was gonna hurt her. Hell, he was hurting himself with the idea ever since he found out about her leaving.

Gently he moved her off of him and put her beside him in order to face him. They lied on their sides looking at each other, Kate trying to figure out what the hell was happening and Jack trying to find a way to say what he wanted.

"Kate, I think we need to take a break"

Silence.

"A…break? She repeated faintly, blinking away the tears that had gathered there. "A break like…Rachel and Ross break?" she asked innocently.

He chuckled at her innocence but quickly went back to being serious.

"I've given this a lot of thought and I've come to the conclusion that it'd be better if…if we took a break….from each other…while you're in London" he said.

"You're…you're breaking up with me?" she choked out as the tears finally fell. She shook her head at his attempt to deny it and sat up wrapping the sheet around her. She couldn't look at him both because of the tears and because of the pain he was causing her.

"Kate, please listen to me" Jack pleaded realizing this was getting out of hand.

"Fine. I'm listening. Tell me how you wanna break up. Tell me how you've been lying to me all these months when you said that we'd find a way to make it work. Tell me how much you love me but you just want to be free" she cried out while the tears kept falling.

His heart was breaking even more if possible. He wrapped his arms around her but she pushed him away. He tried again and again until she finally collapsed against him and sobbed in the crook of his neck. Jack had somehow managed to put on his boxers and they now stood in the middle of the room wrapped around each other crying for their relationship.

"Why are you doing this now?" Kate choked out while still hiding her face in his chest.

"Because it's what's right" he said and brought her face up to meet his eyes. "You know I love you more than life itself, you know I only want what's best for you. And keeping you in this relationship is only gonna ruin you, us, our feelings for each other. Please understand why I'm doing this. I wouldn't stand it if you hated me" he pleaded with her while his eyes were full of unshed tears, tears for her.

He looked at him with sad but understanding eyes. She too had thought of the possibility that their relationship would get screwed by the long distance. Not many relationships of the kind lasted and Jack was too important to her to risk losing him.

"I know, but…" she trailed off while wiping away the tears, "why can't it be easy?"

"True love is never easy, Katie" Jack said with a sad smile.

Despite his negative answer about going to the airport with her he actually did go. All the gang had gathered to say goodbye and each one got their goodbye minute with Kate, right before she had to pass through the security and get on the plane.

The last one to say goodbye was Jack who had officially come as her best friend and not boyfriend any more. Kate walked towards him shyly with a sad smile plastered on her face. When they reached each other he grabbed her hands and looked at those beautiful eyes of hers.

"So this is it" she said nervously.

"Yeah, I guess it is" he whispered back.

They were slowly inching their faces closer as if to kiss for the last time. But right before Kate could capture his lips in a loving kiss he backed off and smiled.

"In six years time", he started, "when you'll be officially done with College and when I hope I'll be close to be finishing mine, you'll come back home and when we finally meet again, after all this time, I'm gonna give you the kiss I owe you" he said.

They stared at each other, best friends and past-future lovers, with eyes that spoke only the truth.

"Do we have a deal?" he asked with a cheeky smile nudging her and making her giggle.

"Yes, Shepard, we have a deal"

_**A/N: There, that was it. I really hope you're not disappointed. The next chapter will be the epiloque and i'll explain what happens during and after those six years. Will Jack and Kate get back together after so long a time or will their new lifestyles get in their way? Leave a review-even if it is to vent against me for not updating-everything's appreaciated :D**_


	35. A smile that explodes

**Epilogue**

_**Too young to fall  
For a light I think I see  
Can't say for sure  
The plants have died,  
My hair has grown  
From the thought of you  
Coming home**_

_**'cause it ain't easier  
Waking up at dawn  
To find I lost my crown  
If I found you there  
With flowers in your hair**_

_**I'd hold you in my arms  
Till we came back down  
A smile that explodes  
I could never understand**_

_**My room, too small  
To get by without the help of alcohol  
Pin my arm to the wall  
Now I'm too gone to fight  
Not afraid to fall**_

_**'cause it ain't easier  
Waking up at dawn  
To find I lost my crown  
If I found you there  
With flowers in your hair**_

_**I'd hold you in my arms  
Until we came back down  
A smile that explodes  
I could never understand**_

_**I write one more  
Letter I won't send  
Except for across the floor**_

_A smile that explodes _

_by Joseph Arthur_

Letters. Hundreds of letters scattered around the floor. And one man standing above, staring, contemplating, remembering.

* * *

It had been 6 years since she went to London, 6 years since he persuaded her that taking a break from each other would be the best for both of them, for their relationship. The only thing he forgot was to persuade himself.

For months he beat himself up for ruining the best thing in his life. For months he regretted ever opening his fucking mouth and saying those fucking words. For months he hated himself for breaking up with her. He tortured and tortured himself.

Until Kate came to visit.

She was the happiest he had ever seen her. She glowed and smiled like a woman who had it all. She laughed and talked so animatedly that even a blind man could see that London was a prize for her. She finally got to make her dream come true and the joy of it showed up on her face every time she talked about photographs, college, London.

Of course, after months of separation, the reunion between Jack and Kate was teary even heartbreaking. Jack could see it in her eyes every time she caught him looking at her or every time that they were "accidentally" left alone in the same room – the sadness, the heartbreak over a broken relationship.

But all that disappeared the moment he would ask about her and her activities. She lost herself in her narrations and he could tell that she was picturing herself doing all that she was talking about. She talked, she explained, she laughed and lived.

That was good enough for Jack.

From then on, no regrets passed through his mind. She left a couple of days later, shared a teary and sad smile with him, and Jack was left behind to pick up the pieces. But this time the pieces were successfully and wholly picked. And right after, the wound started to heal.

He threw himself into work. He studied like he had never before, stayed up all night finishing up projects for college, took a part-time job to finally earn some money on his own. He busied himself with anything that could take his mind off of her. And it almost worked.

Many girls offered to be his, tried to win him over but for the first year and a half his heart and mind belonged to a certain brunette currently in London. He knew he was being stupid, they had broken up and for all he knew Kate was off with some dude from London with English accent. The fact was that every girl reminded him of her. The way she smiled, the way she giggled, the way she looked down when she was embarrassed and the way she sighed when she was annoyed with him. She was his breath and heartbeat. She was his everything.

At the same time, Kate was having, if not the same, similar issues in London. She didn't even bother noticing the men that passed by, flirted with her and asked her out. She knew from good sources – Shannon and Claire – that Jack was not off banging any college girls and was without a girlfriend too. But that was not even the point. She knew that even if he decided to get married after only a year of her leaving, she wouldn't be able to be with another guy. Yes, it would hurt like hell but being with any other guy than Jack was something that seemed quite impossible to her.

The second year of being apart passed and both Jack and Kate were single and devoted 100 per cent to college. Their friends started pushing and probing them into finding someone to ease the pain. It was harder than it seemed.

Jack tried taking out a girl from college, pretty enough and with a brain but was a total disaster. At first he would note every single thing that reminded him of Kate and then he would think about all the things that made the girl ugly and stupid compared to the brunette. In the middle of the date, one thing led to another and Jack was left confessing his problems and issues about Kate to the girl who was supposed to take the pain away. When he got back to his place he was even more depressed. After that Sayid never tried to hook him up again.

Kate was a bit different. She whined and complained to her new friend and roommate who set her up on a date with a guy from their building but ended up going after all. And being the nice girl that she was she tried her hardest not to laugh at his cocky manner and not to roll her eyes at his every attempt to get in her pants. She very nicely complimented him for the place he had taken them and left him one hour after getting together.

The good thing was that Jack loved college. He loved his classes even if he had a hard time keeping up and he devoted himself wholly on the doctor career he wanted to follow. His father was as proud as any father could be when his boy followed the steps that he took throughout his life. He and Margo could see what an impact Kate's absence had on their son but they could also see that Jack was dealing with it and was trying to let go. They were always careful not to mention anything Kate-related to him every time he came to visit and always avoided asking about his non-existent relationships. They trusted and respected their son enough to let him manage and get over the pain on his own.

Diane was pretty much the same. She visited her daughter as often as she could but the news she brought to her were always vague. Kate never asked about Jack so Diane never talked about him. She would only say "They're all good" and be done with it. She knew that her daughter was having a hard time getting over the one guy that meant the world to her but she could see that time was making wonders. When Kate first moved out she was an emotional wreck. She kept asking if she had done the right thing, always regretting and beating herself up. But slowly and surely, she let it go. She never let Jack go but she did manage to put him on the back of her head instead of its center.

Shannon and Claire were another story. They never intentionally tried to make her or him feel bad but their mouth was just bigger than their mind. They too visited Kate often, as well as Jack. It took months for them to finally manage keeping their mouth shut on certain subjects. They always brought memories back, painful memories that made both Jack and Kate regretful and miserable.

Sayid helped a lot with the Shannon situation and Charlie with the Claire one. They persuaded their girls that nothing could change now except for their friends' emotional disposition. They could either be apart and miserable or apart and dealing with it. Finally, all four of them decided to back off and let the couple be.

As for their current relationships, Sayid and Shannon were hitting it off pretty early. He asked her to marry him in their second year through college but decided to wait until they were both over with classes. Shannon had already started planning, however.

Claire and Charlie had a more rocky relationship. They broke up numerous times only to get back together a day later. Charlie was now in a band, preparing his first demo and Claire was trying to get through college. They both had a hard time keeping up but at least they had each other.

On their third year of being apart, Jack's hormones started to kick in. He was 21 and was surrounded by hot girls studying biology, of course he would feel a little hot himself. He didn't dare make a move though, couldn't bring himself to go after another girl. He knew it was stupid but he felt like he was cheating on Kate by just thinking of having sex with someone else. When he confessed that to Sayid he earned a smack on the head and a "Are you fucking stupid?" from him. After that and after finding out that Kate had actually gone on a few dates herself he decided to finally give in.

He didn't do relationships but not only one night stands either. He was in a so called open relationship, or many for that matter. He wasn't being a jerk by leading a girl on and then turning her down. On the contrary he made his feelings on the subject perfectly clear before he would make any move whatsoever. It's surprising how many girls took upon his offer without even a second of thought. "College girls", Charlie used to say with a knowing smirk only to earn a glare from Claire.

Kate was having more problems with her sexual life. She wasn't the kind of girl to get involved in no-strings-attached sex or one night stands. Truthfully, she had never had any physical relationship with anyone but Jack. And for the first few years she had no problem with keeping it that way. But after finding out about Jack and his romantic "adventures" she begun to realize it was truly time to move on. It hurt like hell but she tried.

She hooked up with a guy from a party and it actually turned out to be more. He called her the next day and after a great persuasion on his part she agreed to go out with him. He was a nice guy – James – and she felt comfortable around him. He realized immediately she was dealing with a broken relationship and he never pushed for more than she could give. That was much appreciated by Kate who after several dates with him felt like she could try out another relationship.

Jack, having being honest about his intentions with the girls he hooked up with, was surprised to be approached by a girl named Anna who wasn't interested in getting in his pants. Instead, she flirted and played with him even though she knew he was in no place for a relationship. He told her that and she retorted that she would keep trying till no hope was left. Jack, impressed by her insistence, kept a close eye on her. He wasn't ready for commitment just yet.

Until Kate's next visit.

It was all as it usually was when she came to visit. They hugged and shared intimate looks but this time was different. For some reason, Jack was more desperate than usual, he wanted alone time with her. Perhaps it was the fact that he was close to being someone else's boyfriend that made him want to take one more chance, he couldn't be sure. So, when Kate went to bring out the cake from the kitchen while Shannon, Claire, Sayid and Charlie were in the dining room of Sayid's and Shannon's new apartment, Jack followed her.

_"Hey", he said and approached her._

_She jumped a little surprised and looked up to see Jack leaning on the side of the door. She was actually surprised to see him there given that they usually tried to keep their distance from each other whenever she visited for their hearts' sake._

_"Hey", she whispered looking through shy lashes._

_"So…" he started uncomfortably, "how have you been?"_

_She stared at him, trying to figure out why he was acting this way. "Umm…good. Great."_

_He nodded looking at the floor._

_"You?" she asked back politely._

_"Awesome."_

_They were both really uncomfortable by now. Kate had forgotten all about the cake and was staring at nothing in particular and Jack was having a battle in his head about the things he wanted to tell her._

_"Actually, fuck it" he suddenly exclaimed and with longs strides came to stand in front of a very startled Kate._

_"Jack, what the…"_

_She didn't have time to finish because Jack had claimed her mouth before she could even breathe. He kissed her with force, the kind of force that two separate soulmates need in their life to help them breathe and live throughout the day. The passion that erupted was earth-shattering and their lips stayed together until they had to pull apart to breathe. With Jack's hands holding her tight against him and hers trembling while touching his face, they gasped and looked at each other in astonishment._

_No one spoke for what felt like an eternity. Jack was looking at her with desperate eyes, waiting to know if they still had a chance and Kate was still trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Reality finally sank in and Kate started to pull herself from him._

_"Jack…" she said in a pleading voice. She couldn't talk to him about moving on when he was this close to her. But it had to be done. There were just too many things between them now, nothing was the same and nothing could make things as they used to be. She couldn't go back again, they shouldn't go back again._

_"Jack, please…this is wrong…" she tried to reason with._

_His eyes turned from desperate and hopeful to sad and hurtful in a second. He dropped his hands from around her and took a step back as if to steady himself. The kiss had taken him off guard, even he who made the move couldn't find where the strength and boldness had come from. Now that he saw regret and sadness in her eyes he realized that he had fucked it all up._

_"I'm sorry, Kate" he sincerely apologized. He ran his hand through his short-cut hair and looked at the floor nervously. "I don't know what got into me…I…I'm sorry…" he whispered and finally looked at her._

_She hadn't changed at all through all these years. Well, she did change but the differences were minor. The feelings that a single glance from her evoked in Jack however were still strong but not the same. Yes, her beauty still made him blink in amazement, her sexiness would still make him weak in the knees if he allowed it and her kindness shone all over her face, in her eyes, her cheeks, her smile, but it was not the same. He could tell she was holding back, he knew she wasn't there fully with him. He could see the sadness in her eyes, sadness for rejecting him, for causing him more pain._

_"You were the one to end it, Jack" she said in a pained whisper. Tears were falling from her eyes, flowing like the words from her mouth. She was in as much pain as he was. "I was so…angry….so angry that you made such a decision…" she confessed. "I was mad at you for a long time, Jack" she chuckled bitterly, "but now I understand. I finally understand why you did it. Please don't make me go through it again" she pleaded and she let out a whimper as months of hurt, days of pain and years of heartbreak rushed through her and took the form of tears._

_Jack didn't speak, didn't have the courage or the will to form any words. He simply nodded and lowered his head. Kate quickly wiped the tears away and hid the pain where it had been safely kept for all this time. She took quick steps and was out of the kitchen in no time. Having dried his tears in silent agony, Jack followed her not too long after._

The day she left for London, Jack called Anna and asked her out.

He didn't base his relationship with Anna on Kate's refusing to re-open old wounds. No, he was certain he was making the right move. He wanted to let go, he needed to let go before it turned out to be too much to handle. He knew now that she was trying, that she wanted to move on. So he followed her example and didn't stick to the past. He didn't forget but he did try.

His relationship with Anna was no where near his relationship with Kate. There was no such passion or love between the two but there was understanding and healing. She took away his pain while he took away hers.

The years passed and Jack and Kate both moved along with their lives. Jack was still with Anna and Kate was currently with another British guy from college. They lived, they laughed, they tried. Communication between the two was limited to none. Their news were passed through by messengers – Shannon, Claire – and they saw each other in a few occasions when Kate came to visit. They were both aware of each other's relationships but never commented on them.

However, when the time of Kate's return was close, everything seemed to change. Only months before she had to pack, Kate started feeling uncomfortable with her boyfriend. Even though he was coming in the U.S. a while after her, she had serious doubts about their relationship. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she felt like she wanted to alone.

The same happened with Jack. Suddenly, Anna was appearing to him more like a friend than a girlfriend, more like a sister than a romanting interest. He didn't know what was happening to him and why he felt like he wanted alone time but he couldn't understand the knowing smiles between Shannon and Claire either.

A month before Kate was to come back he broke up with Anna. His reasons? None particular but Anna was not stupid. She knew from her own sources that a certain brunette was coming back for good. Even if he denied it she could tell it was the reason for his anxiousness and desire to be single. She didn't blame him, she knew from the beginning the complexity of his relationship with that girl in London and yet she chose to put it aside. Not to mention that she was pretty sure he didn't even know it himself that he was involuntarily preparing himself for the return of the love of his life. She only hoped that the girl would feel the same, the guy deserved his happily ever after.

Kate was also anxious about her return. She knew that literally nothing would have changed but still, after six whole years it felt like moving to a new place. She had actually found an apartment in L.A. close to Sayid and Shannon and near enough to Claire's and was now able to pay for it given that she had also found a job. It wasn't much, photographer for a small magazine, but the money were enough and she got to do what she loved. Not to mention that working there would open many doors for future jobs. She was eager and scared. Eager to settle down and be with the people she loved and scared because she didn't know how the people that she still loved and used to love her would react to her return. She was scared of Jack's reaction, to be precise.

She couldn't admit that she had broken up with Nick, her latest boyfriend, because of him. She was too insecure to voice her hopes, her hopes about them getting back together. What if he was still with someone else? What if he was in love? What if he hated her because of that day 3 years ago? They hadn't spoken about it and their only communication was through third people. She didn't know anything but the basics. She knew he had finally got his degree and was now practicing in a hospital in L.A. He too lived near her newly bought apartment but she couldn't bring herself to think about him. She was going back to him and she would rather face the rejection once and for all than suffer through the unknown.

She got on the plane and with a hopeful smile said goodbye to London.

* * *

He was still staring at the letters, his mind wandering, lost in memories and heartbreaks, in love and pain. He had written all those letters in times of need, of desperation. At nights that sleep would only bring more pain. He didn't send them, never. She had made it clear she wanted to move on, he wouldn't be the reason to hold her back. He loved her too much.

He slowly bent down and gathered up the letters, stacking them all in one pack and putting them in the box he had them hidden until today. Today she was coming back. His heartbeat had taken a rythme of its own, not beating, not fluttering, but flying. He didn't let himself get too excited, too hopeful. Rejection after all this time, he knew, was the most probable outcome, but that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt like hell.

He stood up and looked at his watch. A tiny smile appeared on his lips, the tiniest of hope rushing through his heart. It was now or never.

* * *

"Oh guys!! It's so good to be back!!"

Kate was finally in L.A. and squashed between her mother and her four best friends, Shannon, Claire, Sayid and Charlie. She couldn't stop giggling at her friends' affection. They had all big, comic smiles on their faces and she couldn't help smiling too. This felt like home.

But after the first wave of enthusiasm a sick feeling in her stomach made her drop the smile. She looked around with hopeful eyes only to have the sick feeling in her stomach worsen. All the excitement was gone and was replaced by a deep cut of disappointment combined with extreme sadness. Jack wasn't there.

She turned to look at her friends in question and received the answer she was afraid of.

"He was supposed to meet us here 20 minutes ago. He hasn't showed up" Claire said in a sympathetic whisper and rubbed her hand on her friend's back.

Kate ducked her head to hide the hurt shining through her eyes and let out a bitter chuckle. She knew better than to have fruitless hopes but the damage was done now. All she could do was pull it together for her friends' sake and break down later in the loneliness of her apartment. Faking a smile she nudged them to get going and headed towards her new apartment.

* * *

He could see her walking down the street, head down, furrowed brows, absent mind. He wondered whether he had anything to do with her current state but didn't dwell on it much. His heart pumped and every breath he took synchronized with an equal step. He had to move fast before she reached her building.

He crossed the street and was now walking behind her. He didn't want to call out to her, somehow he didn't have any strength in him. He just kept walking hoping that she'd accidentally turn around.

He knew it was mean, but he was kinda hoping that his absence from the airport had moved her, even just a tiny bit. He made the decision not to welcome her at the airport right after he finished packing the letters which were written but never sent to her. His reasons for not going were not clear to him. He just felt like it wasn't going to be enough showing up and smiling like a common friend would do. He needed to see her alone, search through the mystery of her eyes for her actual feelings.

Finally, Kate reached the building she was now living in. Having to look for her keys, she turned a little and her eyes snapped up to where a handsome young man was staring at her.

Time stopped and they both remained silent. Her breathing quickened and now matched Jack's rythme.

"Hey" Jack, bold enough to be the first one to talk, said. She remained silent for a moment longer, startled, surprised, ecstatic. He did want to see her after all.

"Hey" was her answer.

Having rehearsed this exact scene numerous times before, didn't help Jack at all. The fluttering, the butterflies, the thoughts currently battling inside his head made him forget everything that he was planning to say to her. She wasn't better at this either. She was at loss of words, of coherent thoughts.

It was surprisingly comforting seeing her as taken-aback as he was. It gave him courage the fact that she wasn't over or forgetful of the past even if she, unlike him, didn't want to revive it. But looking at her like this, like she was having a hard time staying away from him yet hesitating to make a move, made him snap out of his insecurities and take a step forward.

"I made you promise" he said in a more confident tone than before. There was no time for hesitation, no time for second thoughts or fears for rejection. He had to believe she was on the same page with him, he had to believe she still wanted him as much as he wanted her.

"What?" she choked out but took a step forward too.

"I made you a promise" he repeated. "I told you that in six years time, we would meet up again," he paused for dramatic effect, "and I'd give you the kiss that I owed you."

He saw her take in a sudden breath, and he would have stopped and backed off hadn't she moved just a little bit closer towards him.

"Do you remember it?" he asked, moving forward while actually hearing the sound of his thundering heart echoing through his ears.

"Yes" she whispered and he discerned a lone tear falling from her eyes.

They were too close now and every insecurity, every fear, every stupid thought of rejection had vanished.

"I'm here to keep that promise"

And with that, he closed the small distance between them and engulfed her in a passion so significant that neither had known before. Their lips fitted perfectly, like no day had passed since he was kissing her just because he felt like it, since she was his and he was hers. It felt like those old days but in reality it was so much more. This was beyond reviving the past. This was living the present and carving the future. This was a reunion of two true lovers, ready, willing and desperate to be with each other.

After the moment of desperate kissing had passed, he pulled back to look at her. Her eyes were shining and slowly but surely a smile exploded on her face. That moment, that precise moment, Jack truly believed that everything was going to be ok.

**FINIS**

* * *

**Unbelievable, isn't it? It's finally over!! **

**I want to thank you ALL!! Those who read, those who reviewed, those who waited!! You guys are amazing!! I wouldn't have been able to finish this story if it weren't for you! I've been through melt downs, insecurities, pessimistic feelings but you guys helped me keep going! A review actually from one of you guys made me seriously consider being a writer some day (when my english has improved lol).**

**Anyway, i don't want this to take long. I hope you guys liked the finale. I told you it was gonna be bittersweet but as promised, i wrote the bitter at first and kept the sweet for the ending :D**

**Oh and you probably noticed i've changed my username. yeah, felt like changing it for no reason :)**

**Ok then, i think this is goodbye. As for another story, i'm not sure if i'm up just yet to start writing something new. And you know how i suck at updating so i really don't want to put you through it again if it's not worth it. If you have any ideas throw some at me :) Love you all!! Take care :)**


End file.
